its hard to admit

i made a recent discovery. Last year when i was constantly stressed out and depressed i cried *a lot* .... Today, after ....what....like 8 months, i cried. For the entire time that i was in the shower. I was so upset because since i only cry when i'm stressed it pretty much means i'm stressed out. and if it persists i'm get depressed again. I feel like i'm failing behind in school work right now in EVERYTHING. Theres so many people out here at our place right now its getting really hard to do anything. Everywhere i go theres clothes and suitcases everywhere. and i cant seem to do any work anywhere. Usually i'll do my art work on the living room floor in front of the tv and then i'll work on it, take a break, work on it, etc. But because my dad and grandparents are out here i have to pick everything up and put it away right away. And i can't even leave the smallest thing out like a cup or something. My brother got mad at me because i told him i was really behind and named all the hw that i still had remaining. He asked me 'what the hell i've been doing all this time'. and i honestly raised my voice a bit and told him 'I can't get ANYTHING done around here.* I'm most productive at night. I usually do my work on the kitchen table, but i can't now because dad is sleeping in the living room. I do my acctg hw in my room at night but i can't now because my gramma is sleeping in there. And felix's room is definitly out of the question because he sleeps in there. So at night i have nothing left 2 do but go to sleep. But, of course, i can't because A) i'm not tired, and B) i know i have so much hw to do. So i toss and turn for like 3-4 hours and that results in me waking up tired and sleeping in the afternoons. So not only am i falling behind in school but i'm also losing sleep. And what makes it even worse is that my grandpa is in the hospital still. and, i mean hes doing better but the nurses gve him a bunch of pain killers and hes all woosy and out of it, and my gramma worries about him. Today was kinda the first day i went 2 go see him and i was expecting 2 stay there an hour, and then i could come home and fiish my clocks. but they ended up staying at the hospital for almost 3 hours. and i started 2 get really frustrated because i wnted 2 go home. but then i started 2 get angry at myself for being selfish. Here was my grandpa in a hospital bed and my gramma worried 2 death over him and all i wanted 2 do was go home and finish my homework. And now i'm extremely stressed out because i know i'm falling behind, and im extremely confused at to what i should give first priorities to. I feel so bad because I DONT LIKE BEING DEPRESSED. it sucks and i know because i've had mild cases before and managed to get better and be able 2 look back and know how much it sucks. And now i feel like i'm falling back in again and as much as i dont want to i can't seem to help it. I tried really hard not to cry today because i knew that if i did it would be like i was saying that i was starting that road again. And it felt so bad in the shower because in the past when i cried i always thought about all the things that were making me cry and then i'd cry harder. and that is exactly what happened today.....so it's pretty much a given fact right now that i'm stressed out. I haven't figured out if i'm depressed yet (i'm saying it like im happy, but trust me i'm not) I dont know how i'm going to finish the rest of 2005 if everything keeps going on like this. I just dont want go back to being sad and always crying again because like i've figured out. i hate it.

i just want to ax-plode

that is what i want 2 to. So fellow townsfolk, since i haven't written an entry in what seems like aeons, i will give the update. My nice humble abode has now turned into a shack hotel. Its not that i dont like having many relatives over, its just that i can't get anything done. I feel so deprived right now. I'm sharing a room w/ my brother, who gets up at 7AM each morning and his radio alarm plays for an hour before he gets up. I'm a fairly light sleeper, so i'm up once that alarm clock goes off, till 2 hours later after he leaves for work. And then after that its like 9AM and the other family members start waking up and shining lights in my eyes. *sob sob* i'm so tired. and i failed my econ midterm...by like 1 mark....sob sob But. on the plus side grandpa had his heart surgery today and it went okay is what i hear. I had 2 go to class so i didn't get 2 stay. and theeeeen i went 2 shop class and constructed a clock. whoo hoo. This project i thought was actually pretty fun, its coming along i think i'll safely say. However, i discovered just now that the body of my clock is a bit big....SOB SOB. Oo oooh, haha so my instructor isn't appearing to ignore me anymore. hohoh thats always a plus, i think perhaps he has realized that maybe i'm not snobby and that i actually really know nothing about the shop. hahaha. bryan on the other hand. ohoho boy i'd like to give him a piece of my mind. i dunno whats up with him. erg arg....alas, i'm supah tired right now, and i shoulda been asleep 22 minutes ago. so i think that is what i will do.

为什么?

why oh why. i dont know. hahaha. boy boy, many ppls birthdays are coming up again. ho hum. hehehe but the maaain reason i'm writing this blog tonight. is...hohoh you prolly know, its in regards 2 bento c man. hahaha gossip gossip time ladies and gentlemen. so me and sherry we alwasy gossip about him when he comes in to eat lunch on thursdays (oh about how good looking he is, and how something something) and last last thursday, we were talking about him and just as we finished he walked in through the door. and so....like the bumbling elementary school girls we appeared to be we started giggling really hard. and he asked us what was wrong and then sherry said that we were just gossiping about him...hahah yeaaah *smooooth aren't we* hahah and THEN. this week, sherry told me that he hasn't shown up for the whole week. (this is the same guy whos ordered the same thing almost every day of the year for 4 years we're talking about) and we were like *uh oh, do you think he got creeped out because we were talking about him* hahah so then jen and us decided 2 go and eat at joey's on friday (no not just cuz of bento c man, but for numerous other reasons....that i cannot remember) har. sooo friday night rolls around and me and the girls and guys go 2 joey's at 11 30. and low and behold who is there? whoo ha whooo. yeaaah he looked pretty good in his pink dress shirt and glasses. But everybody knows i have a weakness for well dressed men... hoho put em in a tie and good smelling cologne and i prolly wouldn've passed out. hahah sherry was pretty happy. yeah her food was gross and missing stuff but she was still pretty happy. and basically the 6 of us sat at the restaurant and talked about bento c man. hahahah it was great. we all debated upon whether or not he could be gay or not. Today i went 2 work and brian told me that him and sherry were flirting on saturday. OHhohoho. hahah. Its good 2 know that we didn't scare him off, hahaha. Le siiigh. The idea came up once again that my bad luck in relationships could be contagious. (Depending on how much i see someone.) All the examples i can think of involving break ups. When kat and i were still good buddies she had 0 bf's that lasted longer than like 2 weeks, ditto w/ cathy, and iris has never had one. Stephen from work broke up w/ his 6month girlfriend, and couple days ago Eric also broke up with his almost a year girlfriend, and i think Tracy broke up w/ her bf too. However, after i stop being close friends the bad luck rubs off completely. Kat now has like...a steady 2 year boyfriend, and Cathy recen....well last month she met a guy and they seem 2 be hitting it off well..... sigh i dont want to be bad luck relationship girl....poooh.

bento c man

hahaha you know, i realized i have never ever said anything about bento c man in this blog before. hahaha how amazing. Buuuut, bento c man is the goodlooking guy who comes into work pretty much every lunch and has....yup you guessed it. bento c. hahah i only see him once a week because i only work lunch once a week. but today... ohohoh no i saw him today eating ....*dinner* bento. hahahah ....(mumble grumble) but old gramma lady on the phone took so long ordering food that he left. so sad. BUT hohoh my admirer came intoday. hahah naw just kidding. he prolly just likes the food. but, he comes in every sunday and only sunday, when i'm hostessing and orders take out. and now all the sushi chefs know about him and they always comment about him when he comes in. hahah aaah i think its greaaaat. On the other hand my boss keeps like, trying 2 play matchmaker w/ me and the now single sushi chef. hahaha i dunno if he really is or if hes just trying 2 joke around, but he keeps on like. telling me he likes me, and asks us if we're going on dates and stuff.... hahah its very flattering. MAAAN I JUST WANNA.....ERRNNUUUUGH. i went 2 three...THREE dvd/cd stores today trying 2 look for those 2 (or even one) dane cook cd/dvd things. so angary. so i just orderd them off amazon....YES I KNOW I'M TRYING 2 SAVE MOOLAH FOR NYC.... sob sob but i can't help it.... i also wanted 2 buy the oblongs today....and the undergrads. those 2 are my faaaavourite..... le sigh. but i'm going 2 go now, ttyl folks

i'm the yellow tooth dont brush me

hahah i haven't laughed at a joke that hard in a loooong time. So funny. i'm in heart with dane cook. hahahah hes so energetic and his laugh is so cute. hahah say whaaa? its 13 years older than me?? PAH thats not so bad. hahaha but yeah. Maybe HOHO just MAYBE my trip to NYC will happen to coincide with a gig he has. OH YEAAAAAH. hahaha must stop eating toffifee. i went to my friend emily's house to play card games. hahah we played slaps. I think one of my veins popped. I'm wearing that watch that cathy gave me for my birthday to see how long i can last before my hand turnes into a giant hive. (to all those who dont know i'm allergic to certain metals btw) ooooh boy, i was supposed 2 do my econ assignment but IT WAS TO HARD erg i hate schoolio, i wish i could just take drawing/artsy courses everyday. BOY that would be great. Hhahaha but i will drone some more about dane cook. Hahah so he is now the guy that i have a infatuation with. It'll prolly go away after a month but until then. oh boy oh boy i'm going to be like a stalker. tee hee. he's so funny, i couldn't stop laughign at that teeth turn on/off audio one. I get turned on when a girls got nice teeth, like i dont want her to open her mouth and its liek a battle of epic porportions. hahahahah that one makes me laugh when i just think about it. aaaaah. i think i should go to bread now so that i can get up and do my econ hw doodles. PS. it took me like 2 hours to get that dane cook finger banner/button thing up...hahah amazing.....i'm so proud

i want that....

WHY NOT MEEEEE
anyboby recognize that? haha dane cook says that. I've been watching video clips of his for like 5 hours straight. hahaha when hes funny, MAN is he funny. Hes so energetic too. hahah and not to mention bery berry handsome. But alas, hes like....14 years older than me...hahah.... Em....aside from watch dane cook videos all night i didn't really do anything else. I went 2 mandarin class.... then went 2 the bank were i discovered i at a little over a thousand left in my account....hahah thats g-rrrrr-eat. Then i went 2 save ons 2 purchase some brah-cali. and then...who hohooo i went 2 pick up my shoes that came in yesterday. hohoho so happy. I counted all the shoes that i could see today and in the apartment alone, i have 20 pairs..... i'm ashamed.... but at the same time stylin'....yeah baby. There was something important i wanted 2 write in here today. but....i cannot remember. It was probably nothing..... on a different note, the marble slab is now open. OH-hohoh, now my life is complete. Quick access to school, quick access to work, quick acess to a grocery store and buses.....and finally....quick acess to a ice cream parlour. aaaaah. hahaha BUT i think i'm going 2 sleep now. siiigh, i heart you dane cook your so energetic and funny.

absolutely not

is what i'd say if asked do i like being single.
boo-urns. Soooo i'm finishing up my ID project. Kinda worried because i dont think i'm going to get a great mark on it. I mean "I" sure am proud of it especially being my very first assignment and all, but i dont think its like his standard of quality. and the whole presentation thing? oh dear god i think i mighty hyperventilate thinking about it. i mean i'm sure everyone in the class can tell by my shortness of breath and stuttering that i'm super nervous already, no need to re hash the presentation bit. erg arg. still in a jammy dont know what to do to do. I have a mandarin quiz 2morrow. oh boy thats great i just remembered that. after that i think i will go 2 the studio and spray my door handle and then, i'll see if i can figure out whether or not i should put my iso's and sketches on a big piece of mat board. ooooh poop. this is a weird class. arg i dont know how i should present what do to to do? i think i will write out some notes so i hopefully wont blank out in class again....althought i have a feeling that i will like i did last time. aaaanyways. haha did i tell you i think i'm not that ugly anymore? whoo whooo. well actually I dont really think that it just appears that the people seem to be noticing me more than usual. hoh hoh. i'm so happy, it brings a tear to my eye. but really i think it was super brian that rubbed it in. hahaha like i dont think he has said a word 2 me since class started and then, i dunno, maybe it was the scary make up. but yeah, hahaha. its okay though, feels kinda nice to not be the ugly one anymore. arg, i wish i didn't think so hard about the presentation 2morrow now i'm going 2 get super nervous. silly jeff why'd you have 2 give that big schpeel on how important a good presentation is. well i mean i do know that its important but i'm sure everybody does. arg he's prolly just directing it to me because i suck at those. i HATE presentations. All those eyes staring at me. BOO-urns.... MAN i wish contact cement would dry quicker

no more depression

I'm positive there isn't anyone who has read every single entry that i have written to date, so i'm prolly the only one to realise this but. I feel like i've changed alot this year. I say this because i'm pretty sure its true. I just visited my friends blog pages and she has one that she writes in when she feels depressed. And i've read all the entries so far, and they remind me of entries that i used to write in my diaries. I used to feel really worthless and ugly and i used to cry at night time and wonder why i didn't have a better life. I always had thoughts about dying and i'm not proud to admit it but i have small scars on my wrists from certain times when i just wanted to die. I duno what changed in me but i haven't cried in like 8 months. I feel really conceited for saying this but at the same time i'm proud because I think i over came my depression. (if it really was depression.) I dont dwell in the past anymore and i think thats a major kicker if your fighting depression. Dont Dwell in the Past. Whats done is done, and no matter how hard you think about it and what you would have done instead, theres nothing you can do to change the past. Thats what i do now, and honestly i feel a lot better. If i embarass myself so what. Tomorrow is a new day, if you dont think to hard and take it to seriously you wont care about it and it wont bring you down.... hha what a weird entry this one was. But yeah i just realized it and i wanted 2 share. i'm happy i'm not sad anymore : )

NOOO....

i'm 38 minutes to late.... it is no longer halloween..... le sigh. halloween is my favorite day of the year. oh crap, i forgot i have morning classes 2morrow. maybe i should sleep rather than write this blog....nah. so yeah these past few days were pretty fun. fun for sure. i had 2 work all day on my birthday but i got birthday sushi. haha. mm mmm. and then i got pree-sents at home. Tchow gave me a giant john cena doll....it is lying on the ground right next to me as i speak. irish got me some froggy grippy socks and the first thing i did was test those babies out. Yes, i tested out socks. i also got 2 wallets. haha this is what happens when i complain about needing new things. On friday, me and kat went out 2 have lunch, which was nice cuz it was just me and her. and then at night after work me and the ladies (minus cathy) went out and had dinner at joey tomatoes. we managed 2 rack the bill up to 115$$ hahah. On saturday i really wanted 2 go out so i asked tara 2 come clubbing w/ me (which she did, i like clubbing w/ tara more than cathy but shh) we went 2 the ONE on whyte and got the word *kevin* stamped on our hands. haha (dont ask why) I danced w/ a young magician and tara....tara danced w/ a penis. (i htought he was a giant squid.) hahah but it was pretty fun. i seen 2 couples make out. watching that on the internet seems okay, but in real life, i almost threw up a little. hahah. we got stuck in the southside for a good hour and finally got a taxi at like 3 30AM. but it was pretty fun, haha i didn't die, so yeah i'll say it was fun. On sunday i pretty much did nothing. studied a bit, worked on my handles. Then set back my clock an hour. i love sleep. haha. Today i dressed up as the grudge girl and wore a white sheet w/ holes cut out to be a ghost. haha my classmates laughed at me. haha. I dunno if being the grudge girl makes me look prettier or something because a lot of the guys from class talked 2 me today. hahah dunno if that should make me happy or sad. BUT i figured that brian's pretty funny, hahah yeah hes nice. Jeff (classmate jeff) was edward scissorhands. and will...willie....william he was link. i laughed. bronwyn i dont kow what she was but her costume was purdy too. sherry was a witch hahaha she had pretty eyelashes. i was talking 2 quinton today and i was a little creeped out cuz i wasn't sure if he was hitting on me. hahah prolly not but aaaah dunno. i think i'm allergic 2 that white make up that i've been using theset past couple of days....oh so bad. hahah. But 'm going 2 go and take a quick shower then sleep. oh OH ps. jeff...instructor jeff... haha yeah hes married....and has a kid. hahahah the girls didn't believe me. (and they thought i was hearing things) hahaha. welp toodles.

look everybody, i'm not ugly anymore!

aaaah, i've always wanted to say that. Soooo hopefully if many of you couldn't tell i'm not exactly confident that i'm a pretty girl. hahah in fact in high school i know i wasn't a pretty girl. i was downright uuuug-ly. BUT today it dawned a bit on me that i'm prettier now. yaay. haha you have no idea how happy i am. My boss was probably joking but he said *Stephen thinks your pretty* and had he said that like 8 months ago i prolly woulda ran away like a little school girl. hahaha but no i took it like a man....er...i mean. hhaha aaah, i was so touched. Em, and then after i got off work i walked 2 save on's and there were like 3 guys standing outside mongolie grill, and yeaaah...i checked them out, hahah i'd like to think they were also checking me out as i checked them out... yeah baby, me like that. hahaha at least i hope they were hot guys. and then as i was crossing 100ave, a man propositioned me. haha no he passed me an said *hey howsit going*....haha yeah i sound like a neanderthal. But hey sounds like a possible pick up line to me. har har. But alas i should go 2 bed, i have soooo much school work to do, and here i am slacking off. i'm supposed 2 finish my china 101 hw (which i wont cuz its not technically due) and then make my des 370 models (which if i dont do 2morrow i will finish on monday after mandarin class) and then study for accounting midterm (which i will try my best to make first priority) ooooh, btw i bought a pair of pretty earings on friday. except this is what happens when you buy them from kiosk people. one of the posts was like 2x as big as my ear hole, so i had 2 widdle it down 2 an appropriate size. and even after that i think they're like 16's, which is 2 big for my 18's and therefore my lobes are a bit swellish...yes, i said swellish ladies and gentlemen. haha me and felix watched eurotrip yesterday. it was funny....theres so many...penises

legato sama

so sad. my blind date was exactly like a bad episode of....*blind date* the most awkward moments of silence ever. i felt sad because he really didn't seem to get it that i only wanted 2 be friends. He was really REALLY not my type. i knew that from the 2nd day i talked to him. sob sob. i didn't go on msn for like 4 days because i didn't want 2 talk 2 him.... and i didn't want to block him becuase thats really mean and rude. Not to mention its happened to me before and i'd prefer to know that i also didn't place that feeling on someone else. So today i was dropping hardcore hints. but no avail. And FINALLY he asked me if he could see me again and i said *as friends sure, lets have cofee sometime* and then i got scared that he was going to freak out on me. buuuut he didn't. so that was good. yeaaah. PHEW load off my chest. oh and i think this is the first time that i feel absolutely positive that i passed a midterm. Yuuuup without a doubt. whooo weee. Now all i need is that damn donnie darko man to msg me and brighten up my week. Yaa-hooo. something else really funy happened. Me and sherry stayed after class in design to work on our projects and haha it was great. i shot a jolly rancher at her. hahaha me and her tell each other funny stories. aaaah. welp gonna go cut my own hair. bye everyboby. oh right, as for the title of this blog. on my blind date i went 2 comix hobby and found a legato figure. it was the happiest moment of my life.....well more like during those 3 hours. i found him hidden behind midvalley the hornfreak and zazie... i'm such a nerd. hahaha

doom doom doom

doom is the word around here. Sooo yeaaah. i've landed myself a blind date tomorrow. dont even ask. Well i guess its not really blind, like i've seen his picture hes seen mine, that sort. SOB SOB. i'm having horrible ideas already of awkward silences. So mean. From what i've gotten from him i think that the most we could be is just friends. Not saying that anythings not possible, but i just dont seem that interested in him. Boohoo how horrible is that. I hope i dont do another mitch job again. Althought this time i'd have to say that i was pretty careful. No abandoned back alleyway meetings for corinna this time, no SIR. gonna go meet him in a public area and do some public stuff... hohoh sneaky sneaky. (ooooh i'm going to burn in hell for this) but. I was like *imagining* hahaa. that..... thaaaat. my blind date wasn't really my blind date. and that it was the somebody that i used to like, playing a *prank* on me. Le sigh, wouldnt that be cute? hahah *no*? aaaw. i thought it would be. i'd be all innocent waiting *doodee doo doo* and then suddenly hey corinna how's it going (looks over) *who the hell are you, your not my blind date?!?* i know, but dont you recognize me?? (sexy smile) *oh my god, your ____* heh, i know, its nice to finally meet you. *thats a dirty trick you played on me pretending to be somebody else* yeah, sorry about that, but how else could i have gotten you out to come see me? end flashback. hahah its corny isn't it? plus what are the chances of that happening? like 10thousand million to zero. i'm assuming that since he stopped trying to woo me, (woo is a funny word hee hee) hes either gotten a steady girlfriend (possibly married), or just plain gone gay and std collecting. (yes if you ever read this this is what i say) I just recently considered the idea that maybe he got angry at me cuz i drew jess those pictures of him. but i dunno, with the exception of the big gay collage one, all of them were more 'positive' than negative. i'd take it as a compliment that someone liked me so much they drew pictures... hahah i'm childish. But yeah, i gotta go 2 sleep now, oh boy 6 hours of sleep then a blind date.....waaaaaaaaaah i'm scared god!!!!

goot gawd

i certainly hope this week is over soon, it SUCKS. I didn't even really care about it on tuesday, but i just noticed that its really REALLY shitty. First on tuesday i slept through my morning classes. which probably wasn't THAT bad. and then that same night i was talking to that internet guy i met, and he was like *lets go out for coffee now* (it was like...i dunno 11PM) and if i was a butch girl sure why not, but hell man i could get mugged (not saying that hes a mugger) but come on, i've known the guy for like...3 days, i dont really want to go meet you at midnight or go over to your house. So then i think he got *upset* and logged off. and then today, i went 2 my mandarin class and we had a test. And i was so angry cuz my mandarin instructor wrote the quizz out by hand and his characters were like....speed written. one of them was a complete scribble and i didn't know what it said and therefore coudln't form the sentence....or well rather i did but it was horrible. (no, what. you are teacher china) frick. and today in ID class... man dont even really wanna go there. but. i seriously blanked out while doing my presentation. so bad. SUCKS SHIT when you get super nervous infront of people like i do. thought i was going to hyperventilate really. and then. my instructor ignored me (shame) he was walking arund the tables seeing how everyone was doing. and he stopped at the girls in front of me and then told some funny stores. and then walked behind me for a couple seconds.... then. yup, went straight to my friend beside me.... so sad. I think he thinks either i'm super girly or i'm really stuck up. ERG if people really took the time to know me they'd know i was neither. HUFF so yeah. i hope this week is over soon cuz its sucking more by the minute. oy i havn't wrotten a rant in a long time. whats the world coming too.....

todaaay todaaay

i'm listening to the postal service right now. this is the song that dana listened to that i thought was super mario. hahah....today was a boring yet pretty funny day. Iris asked me if i wanted to volunteer for *festival of trees* and i thought she said *do you want to volunteer for testable diseases?* (hahahah say them both aloud.) and then i was talking to Jess and she was looking up halloween costumes on ebay, and she stumbled across all these fake teeth and she laughed so hard cuz there was this one...ONE guy modelling all the hillbilly/pirate/rotten teeth. and its not even a generic face hes got SUCH a distinguishable face. and the funny thing that i noticed that jess didn't.... the man was wearing no shirt as he modelled his teeth. how bizarre. Oh right. so i've taken the liberty of actually using that tickle/dating/friendmaking site that i signed up for like half a year ago. i actually have one mutual match! hoho i was so happy because usually none of the guys that i find interesting think the same about me. But this guy sounds pretty nice....not to mention he IS pretty (ohohoh) haha but alas, he didn't respond to the last msg i sent him. boo urns. This other guy did though and he added me to msn. aaaaaand (be hush hush) i dont really find him that fun to talk to. Like theres certain people i like talking to and can talk 2 them all day. But he seems to keep changing the subject back to his job. Which wouldn't be so bad if i knew anything about it but i dont. So basically it would be like me rambling on about the details of how my sewing project went and how i had to use a certain stitch because this other stitch didn't work because of some thing dumb. yeah total eyeball roll isn't it. hahah but its prolly just cuz its the first time i talked to him right? Oh right, my ID project i'm really stuck on. We're supposed 2 do a mood board for a certain era/style of architecture thats been chosen for us. and Jeff said that we can use anything to depict the mood (material, objects, pictures etc) and i was looking forward to that and all the purdy colors i oculd use. and low and behold i got *international style* The main characteristics of it? Oh stuff like function over fashion, practially no colors because the main materials they used were steel, cement and glass.... OH BOY. i dont know how i'm going to put steel on my mood board and i dont even want to think about cement.... boo hoo.... heeeeelp

hey stumpy

Thats probably what i'm going to be known as after i finish my des 370 class. I'm totally going to cut off a limb or something. aaah but its all good. oh boo, there was someting important i wanted 2 post up but i've forgotten. Something about these 2 weird dreams i had? I dreamt my foot some how dismembered itself from my leg. And then i dreamt that i bumped into a really old crush that i had in elementary school in the girls public bathroom. hahaha. Jenn told me that Bento Box C man works at joey tomatoes. hohoh he certainly is pretty. I will go there every day when jess comes out and be a creeper. hahaha jkjk. My design instructors are funny, he made a comment about a spatchloon (spatula + spoon) and i snicked for like 10 minutes straight. In 4 days i think i've met about 8 peoples who's birthdays are all in octber. Me and jenn came to the conclusion that me and her must have been valentines day accidents. hahaha. But anyways i can't seem 2 rmmeber what i was going to say. So i'm out sports fans.

I FUCKING HATE RUDE PEOPLE

if theres ONE thing i hate more than tardy people its fucking rude people. and rude people who tell ME i'm rude?? holy hell thats asking for a gunt punch. So yes thats exactly what happened to me today. 15 mintues before closing i got told off by the fucking rudest lady ever. What a way to ruin my day. So, for all you unbelievers i will tell you the story from the start. At 8 35PM (25 minutes before the end of my shift) these 2 ladies come in (beheamoths is more correct probably) and it was starting to get busy again and it was only *only* ricardo taking tables. So i sat them at the nice clean table 13, and they sit down and look around and point to the ONLY dirty table in the restaurant and say *we want to sit there* And, so i look at the table (any other hostess, and they would have told them it was dirty and to take the table they were sitting at now) but anyways so i looked at the table and said *i have 2 clean it up so it'll be a couple minutes okay* and at that time another couple walked in and obviosly i'm going to seat them first before i go and clean up a table for another couple who *already* have a seat. So tral lala i seat them then i go 2 clean up the dirty table and then i tell them their tables ready. SOOOO they sit down. and then ricardo, who has like....4 new tables in a row comes up 2 ask me what new tables he has, and so i tell him, table3, table 23, and table 2 (the beheamoths) and i said go to table 3 first because they'be been here for awhile. and he does, then he goes to 23. and so five, MAYBE ten mintues pass and table 2 comes up. I'm heading for the phone because its ringing and the old nasty hag goes *we're leaving now. Other tables have been served before us and your service is just horrible* and so i'm in a littel shock cuz what am i supposed 2 say, you can't yell at customers obviously so i'm like *oh...um...okay* (seriously what do you say to them?) and then the lady give me THE dirties look ever and snaps *yeah, like you even care* and zooms out the door. FUCK ME i almost spat in her face, had she sad that to my face and not while zipping out the door like a pussy. So then i'm like *calm down corinna, deep breaths* and THEN she comes back in and is like *i want to see your manager* and so i'm like *okay just hold on* and i think *good, you can complain all you want to the manager because A) i'm an honest worker, B) i dont lie, i can't get in that much trouble. So i go 2 my boss and tell him what happened* and hes like *ayaaa, i dont want 2 talk 2 them right now because they are really angry, give them business card and call look for me 2morrow* So i go outside and i'm surprised i'm not hemmroaging in the brain yet. and so i say to her (still pretty politely i'd say) *my managers not in right now (getting a business card) but i'll write down his name and you ca....* *YES thats right you do that because hes going to get an earful about your (keyword YOUR) horrible service* And at this point in time i dont even know what shes doing still alive and thati haven't knocked her out yet. BUT i'm still trying 2 make an apology or something so i say soemthing like *we only have the one server working right now and hes got more than just one table*. yeah i didn't even get half that sentence out. it was pretty much *we have one s-* and the old bag goes *write your name too so i can tell your boss about your service*..... after that i just didnt' give a fuck i wrote my name down and walked away. I wasn't scared or anything cuz i dont get scared when i know i'm not wrong. and honestly...service? WHAT SERVICE, i'm not your fucking waiter, i'm your hostess, i sat you for at most TEN minutes. I cleaned up your table and took you to it. 10 bucks say half the other hostess would've been gone by that time. What the fuck did i do to you that results in you pointing at me and complaining at me and giving me that *as if you care* line. FUCK FUCK FUCK. You know that i'm seriously pissed off when the head sushi chef (who doesn't care about anything) askes me if i'm okay. Its been like 2 hours and i'm still super pissed off. If i hadn't been still on shift, and if I was seriously any meaner i woulda yelled back at her. In fact it got me even more pissed off after the fact tath she left is that i took it. GAAAAAAAAAAWD. If her impatient saggy ass had waited like 2 more minutes me or jen would have went 2 take her order but NOOOOOOO i need food now to feed my cellulite. FUCK ME, man i cant believe she ruined my day. AAAAAAAARG. customer is always right my ass. Like honestly in the past, no matter how wrong the customer was, i always clenched my teeth and apologized. But today i coudln't do it, i could NOT bring myself to apologize because that lady was SO. FUCKING. IMPATIENT. Most of the time i could see reasons as to why a customer would complain. BUT THIS WAS ABSURD. My waiters not fucking superman here jesus jones. aaaargh. after that i called up my friend while going to save ons and like yelled my lungs out. And i was holding a 4L jug of milk at the deli and i was like *FUCK IRIS I JUST WANNA HIT SOMEONE IN THE HEAD WITH THIS* and the man standing next 2 me backed away. aaaah rage is funny soetimes

New York Here I come Baby

ho hooo, so yup, i'm going to NY in february. whoo aaaah. so exciting. But i'm a bit scared that i will get scammed. I got a few info sheets today and one full sheet was about the dangers of new york. hahaha... maaaan. Welp, last week went by purdy fast. Jess and her mom came out on friday. And then i went to see Swan Lake on tuesday with iris, ling and tara. um.... I forget whatelse. But it certainly was a productive weekend. Erg, theres supposed to be soemthing really important i wanted to say but its completely left my mind. ho hum. Classes are coming along nicely i guess (except accounting) yes even econ is okay. Or at least the homework is coming along....*okay* I haven't even cracked a peek at the acctg text yet. Its going to be like psych all over again. My design instructor appears to be ignoring me. It makes me sad. hahaha its okay. Em, mandarin class is going into character writing this class. everyone congratulate me for not dying in the first week since all we did was say ju, qu, xu. Everyone appears to be quitting now. At YC, my brother told me the bimbo quit (prolly cuz they call her a bimbo) and so did a long time waitress. At kyoto, 2 of the waitress' gave their 2 weeks notice. but aside from that thursday was a fun day. Ricardo doesn't think i'm an idiot anymore! hahaha success. me jenn and him were reading the sex advice column in the SEE paper. aaaaah. (Tell me, what are the no no's of going to have sex with an internet 'friend' who tells you to meet them in their dark apartment room, asks you to take off all your clothes and comes into the room w/ a towel covering their head?) Ah its all good. haha. Today i made a trek around the south part of etown, picking up all my moms beauty needs. (sometimes i'm glad i'm butch and don't spend millions of dollars on skincare products) Oh right, just had to voice this. But on tuesday (ballet day) irish was....yes ladies and gentlemen late once again. I told her to come pick me up at six FOURTY FIVE at work (ballet started at 8 but i still wanted 2 go home and drop off my bookbags and stuff and fix my hair or something) well anyhoo thank goodness it wasn't busy. 6 45 rolled around....nada. 5 minutes later i called iris and her mom picked up her cell saying that she *just left* JUST LEFT? good gawd, and she still has 2 traverse down that huge flight of steps, take the train to corona, and walk down jasper. man i was soooo angry. so anyways at 7 10, her sister calls me (cuz i called her like 20 times) and i was like "where are you guy's?" *we're at your place* and i was like (smack head) so i ran home and i was like *DIDN'T I SAY 6 45 AT WORK* (i think this is the first time i've ever scolded iris before) so anyways i went into my apartment and frolicked around for maybe 10 mintues and i was like *aaargh so late, so hot* and she goes *we still have 45 mintues you know* ugh. I dunno why i didn't say this then, prolly cuz i was in rage but still. I DONT CARE HOW MUCH TIME WE HAVE LEFT, ITS THE FACT THAT I TOLD YOU TO MEET ME AT A CERTAIN TIME AND ONCE AGAIN YOU WERE LATE. one of these days iris, i tell you, your tardiness will get the best of you. i mean i wouldn't care if you were late once in awhile cuz nobody's on time everytime, but i've never seen someone be late every single time practically. Oh, and then tara got angry at iris because *we* made her wait at the jubilee for 15 minutes (coincedentially 6 45 to 7 00 is 15 minutes....) and then iris and tara started yelling at each other. huuuuh. but that was last week. Oy today this bitch lady closed the elevator door on a guy. Seriously if she wasn't yacking on the phone like an ape and a FUCKIN IDIOT she seriously should have heard the guy buzz himself in let alone start walking into the elevator. No need for those jabby fingers of yours to push the *close door button* like your going to die. and after he started to slowly get crushed by door she didn't make any movement to open up the door again. I shoulda smacked her eh? hahah naw i wouldn't, but the thought had dawned on me. Cathy told me i've gotten a lot meaner. Which if i think about it, is true. hahah she's lucky that i didn't yell at her for saying that cuz i was tempted to. hahaha. I dunno what changed but I dont seem to get suckered into doing stuff i dont want to anymore. Like last year it'd be like *corinna gimme 50 bucks and jump into this pool of spiders* and i'd be like.....*sigh...okay* Now i'm like *screw that shit*. and i guess thats why cathy thinks i'm mean, because i dont follow her to do pointless things anymore. BOY this blog sure has changed. Its like a dish up the dirt blog now. hahah i'm horrible...HORRIBLE I TELL YA. but. i gotta go now. buy some groceries 2morrow. later everyboby

quickie tonight

no you horn dog not that kinda quickie....although....*evil snicker* hahaha jkjk.
I'm supposed 2 be in bed, because once again i have a super long day tomorrow.... sigh. straight 2 school then straight to work.... So i guess all my classes seem pretty okay. cept the 2 on TR are super boring, super long, and super....boring.... its so hard, and im always restless in there too... le sigh....but aside from that my other 2 classes on MW are good. china 101 is really boring right now (ju chu fu, ma ma ma....) haha but i think i will look forward to it. my design class is pretty okay too.... cept its really big.... but aside from that a lot of the girls are really friendly. and....ohohoho ... haha you guys are gonna call me a sick bastard for this one, but my instructor certainly is....*nice* hohoh... hahah. but if you think about it, that is a bad thing. because, i will be to distracted by his boyish good looks...hahahah so corny. so in fact. no my instructor is not good looking, not at all.... and the fact that hes like 24,25ish? no thats a complete turn off, yeah man, horrible. hes like an old old man. Just another instructor... yup. hahah. Oh we got a new *waiter* at kyoto. hahah I'm like deathy scared of him. Hes around the age of everyone else (but hes got a kid). And i'm like super scared of him cuz i can never tell if hes joking or not. hahah well i guess not scared, but like when he jokes w/ me or vice versa, we stare at each other for a couple seconds until the joker cracks a smile then we realize its a joke and laugh. haha but by that time its not very funny hahahaha. aaaah its all good though. Welp aside from all that fun fun, jess is coming out friday. Shes going to stay at some unknown friends house. Am i a bad cousin? aaah dunno. Me and cathy stayed up super late on monday night gossiping. haha its super bad, but i told her about my super friend craig. Whos craig you ask? Boy you must be new here, if you read any of my previous blogs you'd know....oh yes, you'd know. Buuuuut, cathy tells me to go and find him because she likes the sound of him. HAR i dont think she realizes how hard of a task that his. But aside from that cathy told me that the art students are going to NY this year. whoohohooo i want to go. but, i forget how much she said it was. ho hum...what else....oh i did bad on my econ hw....hahah the shame.... i think i was tryign to do it to fast... hahahaha....oops.... i have so many math-y courses this year. i guess that means i have 2 get some new batteries for my calculator...hehe. i took 2 of them out for my mp3 player... dagnab it. oy so late... hah one last thing. in design class we were drawing *isometric* drawings today and DAMN it made my head hurt hahah certain ones did anyways. i swore that very last one made my brain hemorage. hahaha. but alas i must bid thee adieu. later peoples

boo school

Have i ever mentioned to anyone before that i hate school? Le sigh. But oh on the plus side i got into a art class! whoo yay. It really would've sucked considering that i'm an art student and aren't taking any art classes. So yup, i'm taking, Accounting 300, Economics 101, China 101, and Des 370. I hope i like des 370 more than i liked des 390. whoooo ee. I really should be doing my homework right now, but i'm looking on the internet for who i want to cosplay as next year for animethon. I have decided to be for shure at least one of the following two guys. Either Reno the red head from FFVII, or ANBU Kakashi from Naruto. I think i'm leaning more towards kakashi because....well his costume looks more fun, and i'll say unique for now, since i have a hard time finding ppl who cosplayed as him. Reno's costume is really simple and i guess hes kinda old and *technically* not anime. I guess i COULD be both of them. But that would mean that my Miwako costume im 75% done would go to waste....oh the choices the choices. I need my sketchbook back from cathy. I want to make some sketches and plan the costumes out. haha i'm a geek. But alas, i think....no i MUST get started on that econ hw. Its due sunday....oh the shame the shame....i have to read too i think....

picabo hath returned

Soooo i'm back in Edmonton now. yeaaaaah. Each city has their own pluses. Schoolio starts next week and yeah baby i'm totally looking forward to that....haha yeah right. Eem, but ooh ooh theres a lot of stuff i want to do in town now. I'll make note of them here so i dont forget. FIRST of all theres that ghost tour. oh yeah baby that sounds fun. Its run by the same ppl who do pub crawls so we get to ride in a double decker bus and tour edmontons haunted places. hohohoooo. I also heard about this band thats relly good that will be playing at New City, i dunno how old you have to be but if its all ages perchance i will ask jess to go with me cuz she'll be in town. Oh and i want to go to that tatoo festival, though not as much as when i first read about it because i need to save money....yeaaaah. Um. oh and me ling and iris will be going to see ballet again. whoooo yeaaaah. thats cool. haha we're going to see Swan Lake. Ballet is fun to watch shaaadup. Har har, i want to go to WEM. i think i need some new clothes....or at least new pants.... yeah. aaaah maaan i want sushi. I WANT A FORT MCMURRAY MAKI DAMMIT. aaaand i need a hair cut.... hoho. my neuro net processor is making funny noises. but yeaaah i'm going to go back outside and molt. bah humbug. Oh wait, i had a dream, hahah i dreamt i was working at the restaurant and sum 41 came in (hah, this is the 2nd time i dreamt sum 41 came to work) how bizaare