3:04AM

That is the time right now, as I sit and wait till its time to go to the airport.... Sigh, I dunno whether or not its because Im extremely tired, but i'm just NOT excited to go on this trip. Which is ironically *bad* considering I'm gonna be gone for 2 months.... Jeeeeezoos. I just hope It'll be better when I get there, and that I'll be able to think positively, and not get homesick. Gaaaaah. I just wish at least one of my friends was going that way I wouldn't feel so lonely. Poo-urns. Anyhoo, I guess I'm all finished packing. My suitcase is a bit heavier than I expected. I hope its not too heavy.... I swear I only packed essentials..... well... okay so thats a lie. Hahah. I'm just that girl who always thinks of eveyrhitn that she could possibly need, and packs it. Hey C, you have a bandage? (yup), scissors (yup), swiss cheese (yup), a one legged dog named ponkey? (......its in my other bag). Hahaha one of these days....Ung. Anyways I should probably go to bed and take a nap or something. Oh sigh. I just wish I could get a little more excited about this trip. I'm not even the least bit happy. The only reason i get nervous is because I'm worried i forgot something. Gaaah, i nkow so many people who would kill for an opportunity like this, and here i am... not wanting to go....
Bah, i just hope that everything will seem better when i get there.
3:14 AM (fastest post ever)

A picture, finally!

Yo all this is Quinto. I made him while i was busy *packing* Hahaha, I made it for my Gramma in HK, whom as my mom tells me, Loves sparkly things. Hahaha oh gramma so this is where i got my genes from.

Ho hum. Anyways I should be packing, but i've been packing for the past week. I think i should take a break. Hahaha, I'm taking a break by playing microsoft Hearts. I seem to sometimes be really good, and then i seem to sometimes suck... really bad. Hahah its a curse.

Blarg, so i'm going to China on Sunday. Getting a little nervous. I'm starting to have some bad dreams. Hahaha. *sigh* I'm gonna get homesick. Boo-urns. I really really wished that my family, or at least my mom woulda went back to HK with me. Cuz i'm really worried about meeting my uncles and gramma. I haven't seen them for such a long time I'm worried its gonna be really awkward. Sigh, it also makes me sad that I'm thinking about that, even considering that they are family and all. Blaargh.... yessum.

But anyways keep in touch on this blog as i intend to have a travel-blog to show off all my pic-a-tures, of all the pretty places I'm going to.... or also of child slavery... sigh. It'll be a new blog site for sure, because I plan on keepting this one a *secret* blog where i just vent. Yessum thats all for now. Next time i post it'll prolly b in the C-H of INA.

T-minus 4 days till China ladies and gents.

Hoh-yah
So the big days almost here ya'll. I dont rememember if I mentioned it in my previous entries or not seeing as I haven't posted anything in like 2 months hahah, but....so I'm going to China... yeaaaah. Hahaha i'm going for 2 months. Ugh its gonna be an uber long time. I've never been away from *home* for that long of a period of time. Unnng. what to do what to do. I'm just a little sad because I dont know anyone who will be going. Unlike all my other previous trips I wont have a best friend with me. My roomate is kinda... I dunno she's like me in a way but worse. Shes friendly I guess but like... she won't wait up for me or something if I stop and talk to a friend even though she knows we take the train together. So it kinda bothers me and I guess i'm thinking that, ....ah i dunno what am I saying I dont know the girl so i shouldn't judge. vreh.
So yeah 2 months w/o friends. In a country where I dont know my way around, am the size of a monster, and can barely speak the language. siiigh.

And then I'm going to HK to visit my mom's side of the family. I dunno why this bothers me too. But like I'm worried i'm gonna put on a bad impression, cuz theres the language barrier again. And i'm worried I wont know what to say, they'll think i'm stupid, i wont have anything to do, they'll think i'm stuck up.... aaaaall that fun loving stuff. *sigh* Hopefully it will be better when I get there. Aaaand I'm kinda tired now so i'm gonna call it a night. I keep on trying to post up pictures but my internet is to friggen slow to let me. Geeezoos

balrg

Gah, i've been trying 2 load a picture on here for the past like 2 hours i swear. I haven't been on here for a long time and i decided that i should upload a picture but I couldn't. Boo-urns.
But angry aside, Today is the last day of classes! Yah. I celebrated buy naming today *spending day* where i bought expensive lunch for myself. Hahaha. it was indeed. It was also my brothers birthday today. I bought him an ice cream cake from baskin robbins. I had to carry it from whyte have onto the bus, onto the train and back home. Did i mention its uber warm outside? Hahaha i was afraid i'd have a box of cream soup by the time i got home. But it was not. I bought my brother cinderella 3. (Aw thats cute, is he 8?) No... hes 26. Hahah my brother wants to marry cinderella.
Ahhh such an unproductive day. I was gonna do laundry but i did not. Instead I went outside onto my balcony and started a painting.... weird. Its kinda creepy actually i only put up a ground, and then i penciled in a sketch of what i wanted to paint. And then i scraped on some white paint. And then i went inside. And when i peeked outside again. The painting looked like a face already even though its only got white on it. weee-yad. And thats waht i'be been trying 2 upload for the past 2 hours. But it is not working. So instead i will just post this emtpy entry, and continue looking at these amazing bentos that this lady is making.

Creepy Dream

Hey folks, been kinda busy this month.
Also my internet wasn't working last week... so yeah... i've been going to bed uber early. Hahah but low and behold once i get back on the net i go 2 bread at like 2AM each night..... le sigh.
Anyways i have to report about a uber creepy dream i had on Monday night. I dreamt that i died. It was real weird. I was in this giant parking lot, and it was like a gang fight going on. And ppl were shooting at me, and i was shooting at thugs... haha and then this one mofo started chasing me, and i was trying 2 evade him. But eventually i got cornered on this cliff. And rather than get shot to death... hahah i decided to jump off the cliff into the raging waters below. And then it flashed forward to like... a CSI opening. and i could see my body lying on the ground and all these paramedics and ppl surrounding me. And the paramedic said "I'm afraid she's dead. If we had arrived earlier we might've been able to save her....but she's dead."
And then i woke up... creeeepy

achy head

Uuuugh. i dont relly know what this post should be about seeing as nothing really interesting happened. My best friends in town though. So yeah we will go and spend 40 bucks on sushi 2morrow. HOHOH (per person btw) hahah. Um... spring forward yesterday. worst day of my life. I hate losing an hour. Bad enough that time seems 2 magically disappear when i'm on msn. Um... yeah so i've been having a kaffufin w/ internet man. he made me angry on ....friday i guess... i dunno check w/ the previous blog. And i got angry and blocked him for a good few days. Um... i had a full day off yesterday. It was EXTREMELY unproductive. I did finally figure out how to read that crystal beading book my mom got me. i told her to buy me a crafting book in HK. and she bought me one where all the intructions were in chinese. I was like.... uh thanks. hahah but i figured them out.. YESS. i made half a mouse, half a bracelet and 3/4 of an octopus. Hohohoh. i'm going to buy some more beads on ebay when jess gets the paypal money in that she owes me. I also found that pair of white irregular choice clogs i've been looking for for like 2 years! Hohoho. its in my size to!! hahah having said that i bet you i'll miss the auction. *sob sob* i will be the saddest girl in grade number...16. Oh you, you make me sad. But alas i'm gonna go 2 bed now.

FUCK you piss me off so much

GAAAAAAAAH, i seriously finally decided that I liked you, and that when you smiled i thought you were cute. And then you go and fucking pull that stupid fucking brb stunt again. I TOLD YOU, i HATE it when guys tell me they'll brb and DONT DO IT. It pisses me off even more becuase i told you MANY TIMES. its the one of the few things that i HATE about a guy and you always go and fucking do it. Its fucking demoralizing because it makes me feel like i'm not worht coming back for. THIS is why i dont open up to guys because I put so much faith in them, only to have them fucking hurt me again. ITS FUCKING DEPRESSING. stupid shithead.

Hey pookie....

So i went on a semi*date* on friday. Hahaha. I went w/ internet man. He looks a lot different in real life. I dont want to be mean but he looks better in his pictures. Hahah, but he was also wearing a hat when i met him so we'll see. But at the same time i'm not saying i had a horrible time w/ him. It was 10X better than my forced date w/ cement man. Hahah, i wanted 2 squish his arms 2 see if he was really that muscly. O-hohoh.... but i didn't i refrained. Hahaha, I kept on stealing secret looks at him to see if i could determine whether or not i thought i was good looking or not. Hahah and i think he knew i was doing that. Hahahah he makes me laugh really hard cuz he does silly things. hahaha he's so simple, but yet like if all the stuff he tells me is true, hes been through a lot, and apparently hes fucking talented!! hahah. I'll go on about that stuff in a later entry maybe. I think he'll look better in his *thug* clothes. hahahah. OH another coincedence. I bumped into Lawrence and Pauline at the theatres when i was w/ internet mat. It was really strange. hahah cuz they always ask me if i have a bf. and i always never, and the one time i go out w/ a guy, and boom i bump into them. Hahaha. i'm so sad cuz hes so skinny! haha well hes not as skinny as J, and hes only (only PAH) 10 pounds lighter than me. but it makes me sad. Hahaha. I'm pretty sure i'll see him a 2nd time, 2 get a better judgment. Cuz i dunno why i was kinda tired on friday and i couldn't think very clearly.... just like right now, i feel like i'm gonna pass out cuz i'm so tired!! hahha sigh. Welp thats all folks, ttyl

words you say have never hurt me so much

mr d. once asked me before what i didn't like a members of the opposite sex. I told him i couldn't think of anything really, except i didn't like it when men were too girly. I actually discovered something else i dont like about men. I dont like it when they say they'll come back.... and they dont. It sounds like such a minute thing, but because its happened to me so often, it really makes me sad when it happens again. Especially when guys that i 'cared' about do it. The first time i can recal this happening was w/ my stalker-ex M. I specifically took a day off from work because it was his only day off and i wanted to spend time w/ him. We went over 2 his place to watch a movie. And within like 20 mintues of getting there, he got a phone call. And when he hung up he told me that he had completely forgotten that he promised his friend hed go to their place 2 have dinner. So he was like, i'll be back soon okay! And so basically he left me at his place, stranded w/ nothing to do.... For 4 hours. i waited like a fool.
The 2nd time this happened to me was with my heartbreaker C. i probably could've loved you. You were the guy that i knew for the longest amount of time, and the only guy who i really felt comfortable talking to. I loved him and i hated him. We had deep conversations and he picked me up when i was depressed. But at the same time, he used to disappear for long periods of times. Like i'd talk to him one day, and then it'd be a few months before i talked to him again. Just when i thought we really started getting somewhere he told me he had to go. The last words he ever said to me on msn were "I'll talk to you tomorrow" .... and he never did.
It just pains me a lot, cuz guys i care about lie to me. And that they dont think i'm worth coming back for. Its a real punch in the stomache when i think about it. So yeah, it really hurt Mr. D when we were talking last last time and you said *brb* And you went offline and didn't come back. It actually didn't bother me till today. You didn't leave me a offline msg, a txt msg, an email reply or voice msg. You just basically disappeared like everyone else. It felt exactly like M&C. I also think.... that you really arent' that interested in me. When we first met you used to send me at least an email a day. And now... its been like a week+. I told you once, and if i ever see you i'll tell you again. if you dont like me, just tell me. I'd rather find out sooner, than later and before i've fallen for you. It makes me sad too because he reminds me a lot like C. a little bit TOO much. He says the right things, and he makes me laugh and feel good about myself. But at the same time, i worry about him cuz i know craig was a player too....

if lifes gonna suck, why live it?

I'd really like an answer to that question sometime. Feel free to help me out whenever you can God. Its just really depressing to know that sometimes I feel like i have no one to talk to, no one to go to, and no one to cry too. I had a really nice time today at the Chinese New Year Banquet. I laughed lots and smiled more cuz I was with a bunch of friends. Its something that I haven't done in a really long time. So yeah it was nice. And then my fucking brothers went and ruined my day. I got a ride to T's place to pick up some stuff and change shoes. And because it started to get cold (and late) I called up my brothers to come pick me up. And they were like *tsk wehre are you* and i was like *it wont take that long cuz i'm not that far* and he was like *fuck, your 2 blocks away WALK HOME* and i got so angry. WHO the fuck tells their baby sister to walk home in the middle of the night, in the cold, in a skirt??? I fucking cried while walking home. ugh it makes me SO angry cuz they always ruin my days. I think i've lost weight, and i know i'm losing sleep. I wore my cheungsam that i wore for grad 4 years ago. And it used to be really snug. I put it on today and i could pinch like a few inches of excess material around the waist. Ugh. i go to bed so late, cuz its the only time i can study and get homework done. And then my brother wake me up at like 6AM with his alarm that he refuses to turn off till an hour later. And THEN after his shower he turns on ALL the lights in the room and makes all this noise. Its really depressing. And to top things off, i my brothers are serious inconsiderate fucks. I sacrifice so much for them, and i get absolutely nothing in return. I'm positive that my health is deteriorating because of them. I hate seeing my family unhappy. So that was the main reason why i gave my 2nd brother my room. He was sleeping on the couch for the longest time. And it made me really upset cuz he did that.... even though the most fucking easiest and logical thing for him to do would've been to share a room w/ my older brother. Because basically, both of them go to bed early, and both of them get up at the same time... so no one would be disturbing anyone. And both are heavy sleepers anyways. But whatever, so i gave my brother his own room. And instead of being grateful and happy. That little fuck, he just moved in, and i practically never see him anymore. He comes home, and goes into his room, until dinner, where he eats dinner in his room. I can go a week w/o saying a single word 2 him. It makes me so angry cuz hes so fucking stuck up and full of himself. Like hes too good to come and have supper w/ us. ARG. i just dont understand how i can be related to those jerks sometimes. And like.... what makes me really depressed is that I have no one to talk too when i really need someone. I lost my cell couple days ago. So i lost all my friends contact numbers. And my internet isn't working so i can't get ahold of any of them except I. It just bothers me a lot, cuz a lot of times when i'm angry i dont want to be at home, cuz i dont have any privacy anymore. But i dont have anyone/where to go too. Since I & C moved away i just feel really lonely a lot. And... i dunno why, but even when i do have like... jess out here or something, even still i have trouble voicing my saddness. Its like... i dont want to make others worry about me either, and like.... shes my brothers cousin too, so what is she supposed 2 say about them? Aaaah, but at the same time i know its bad that i keep it all bottled up. Anyways i gotta go now. I walked to the cybercafe btw, cuz our internet is not working and i didn't want to be at home...

arg the stress factor

hey baby cakes. I think i'm going to die tomrrow. You guys have no idea how stupidly stressful today was. I called my mom and i actually cried. Really sad. all for such stupid reasons. Its weird how one can not feel stressed out but yet really be stressed out. I didnt feel stressed at all. Till i got home and started realizing. and then i started swearing like a pirate. Ugh So pissed off. I lost my fricken cell phone. I took it to work. put it on the hostess stand. went away to do some take outs and 20 mintues later it was gone. FUCKING GONE. argh. I thought maybe i misplaced it so i looked pretty much everywhere. Including the garbage cans. AAAgh. so angry. It just makes me equally angry because i wasn't supposed to work tdoay. but i did. And it was a fucking joke. It was slower than a monday. I wasted an evening i could've been using to study for a cheesy 5 buck tip. aaagh. if i DIDN'T go to work i wouldve NOT lost my cell, and i wouldn't have been so grumpy and stressed from lack of sleep and studying. I'm actually seriously worried about my FS midterm 2morrow. I have no idea what shes going to put on it. aaaaagh paranoia. I dont think i'm gonna be able 2 fall asleep tonight either. arg. stupid stupid stupid.
......j-just.... one........more....d-d--day.....

My confession

...and this is going to be the email where you discover i'm a paranoid freak.

I really was hoping youd come online to talk these past few days cuz i really wanted to get something off my chest. It's actually been a really stressfull week this coming week and the start of last week cuz of classes and work and midterms and all. So I was really happy when me and you started talking cuz you made me really happy. And then... ugh i dont even wanna say it. But like. I started thinking.... possibly too much for my own good.
....I've been hurt a lot, really bad in all my relationships. the last guy that i seriously fell for was kinda like you, and we met on the internet to. And like, at the peak of our 'relationship' he just up and disappeared. I haven't talked to him or heard a word from him for 2 years. So yeah, all that and more has just made me a paranoid girl. It sucks and I cant help it. I've been really worried these past few days that you might do that too, or that you aren't really who you say you are. I feel like a fucking jerk for even having that thought but its what happens when you've been lied to and disappointed so many times. You start to second guess every good thing that happens in life. I'm a simple little girl, but when i like someone i fall fast, and i fall hard for them, which makes it that much difficutl when i find out all along i meant nothing to them.
...i'm sure this is exactly NOT the email that you wanted to read when you wake up. But yeah. this is me. I know you've said this to me before, so maybe its my turn to say it to you. After you read this email, and you get creeped out and dont want to talk to me anymore thats fine. I'd really rather it happen sooner than later. thanks.
Corinna.

uuunnng help me....

....i dont know what i'm doing right now.... you guys are gonna be the first ones to hear this.... its something that I haven't told any of my friends yet. But.... i met a guy....on the internet. And i think that we really get along and hit it off well. I really like him, and its really creepy but me and him have *a lot* in common. Its kinda creepy sometimes. Well, the first few days that we started talking I started to get that same floaty feeling that i used to get when i talked to.... you know who. It was really exciting haha i have to admint. But then.... ugh its so bad, i dunno if its my 6th sense kicking in, or if i'm just and idiot and worrying too much. But i'm starting to get a little bit worried. Ugh, like i dunno if hes really who he says he is or if all the stories he tells me is true. Or if hes the type of guy I think he is. Its really bothering me. At times i really really really want to talk to him, and then hes never online. And this is the first guy who i actually want to meet and actually want to call. He called me today but i missed his call. And when i went to call him back like 30 mintues later... his phone busy.... Uhhh its bothering me so much, I dont want to fall for someone again and find out hes fake. And I'm also wondering what type of person he is. I originally thought he was like... well different than the type of person I might think he is now. I'm worrying that hes another *henry*. But at the same time, the other part of me pulls little clues that tells me he can't be like henry. ARG its bothering me so much. Like his emails say one thing but i'm reading them a different way. Like.... he told me hes a really shy person, but at the same time, he called me pretty much right after he got my number. I dunno about you but shy people I know dont call girls right away. Fuck i dont call people i like until like i'm really confident about them. And then second of all, he keeps on asking me for pictures of myself.... it makes me uncomfortable cuz he asks for them almost *evertime* we talk. At first I was worried cuz I thought he might think i didn't look like my display pic, so i went on web cam for a bit. But after that he still kept on asking me for pictures. But THEN....after saying all that theres also another part of me that says hes not really as interested in me as I think he is. And that maybe hes like... doing this to other girls at the same time too. Like.... for a girl hes really interested in, he doesn't seem to want to talk to me that much. I've only talked to him online *once* for a good amount of time. And today, he came online for like 2 seconds and said, hi, then he went away. Fuck, you figure if your really interested in someone you'd stay to chat for at least a little bit more. And.... he doesn't reply to emails as often as one would figure....UUUGH FUCK, i wish i wasn't so fucking paranoid. It makes me so angry, because i think that i'm just seriously thinking way to much. And then he's really just a busy guy. and i'm gonna feel like a fucking jerk when i find out that he really is just as he says.
Fuck But i just can't shake that feeling..... uuuuuugh why does this always happen to me.... some one throw me a fucking bone, i seriously need some clarity....

I am a Sexual Predator....Oohohooo...

I'm laughing like Strongbad does in this one episode where I forget what happens and what he does.... but yes i'm still laughign like him. Hahaha. Had an excellent start to an week.... yes indeed. At least so far i'm lead to believe it will be an excellent start. But for all I know it could turn out to be really bad. which i hope it doesn't. Um... i'm starting to have faith in my tarot reading card skills! haha either that or i'm just getting easily believable people. I still need the book for every card, but the readings (as people tell me/ i find out) are creepily accurate. HOHOHO.
Um... i dunno if i mentioned before but i might be going to China in the summer... I'm kinda bittersweet about it. Like i want to go, but no one else i know will be going, and Its ALOT of moolah. and when i come back i have to pay another 5thou out my ass for tuition. Not to mention its gonna be harsh these next few months before may having so save up all this cash. I wanted to buy some new glasses and some other stuff, but all that good stuff's gonna be put on hold if i go... And ALSO i'll be missing jess' grad. And i also wanted to go to BC for a few weeks to visit iris and cathy. Arrrrg, so far all the negatives are outweighing the positives. the positives mainly being, my parents want me to go, i kinda want to go, and its supposed 2 be really cheap, considering what i get out of it, and also... once in a lifetime opportunity here. aaaarg. So yeah. its really bothering me right now. To go or not to go, that is the question.
Ugh... but aside from that, ....tee hee... naw i dont think i'll say it I'll jinx it. So i'll just keep it a little secret between me and myself for now okey! Super hard to though!! hahaha Okay gotta go now before i miss enough sleep and decide i'm elegible to miss class 2morrow.... again. Hahah bye bye

oh internet oh internet

whatever shall i do without you!!!
Soooo... my internet has been down for the past 2 weeks.... or rather more specifically, someone else is stealing the internet signal that we've been stealing.... those JERKS. haha. Well, i'm thinking that a lot of new stuff has been happening but for the life of me I can't remember the important stuff. The new Southside Kyoto opened up and Jason moved over there, so I dont have to be creeped out at work so often anymore. Hahah i'm a jerk. But like usual, after losing one creepy guy, i've gained another. Hahah i just attract em' i tell ya. Oh right, I might be going to China come May! I really want to go cuz a lot of people are telling me i should go, and also its probably like a once in a life time opportunity. If i go i'll be going w/ 21 other classmates and 2 instructors to ZheJiang University in China for 2 months. One of the main reasons that i dont know if i should go or not is that moolah is really.... REALLY tight. its such short notice cuz i thought the trip was NEXT year rather than... in 4 months. I'm supposed 2 come up w/ 5grand by the end of this month. And like, the thing is i have 2thou in my account right now, and my parents said they'll pay whatever else is left and i can pay them back when i come back. But when i come back it'll be July, and i'll have 2 months left to make another ~5thousand for Fall/Winter Tuition. And THEN, theres also the problem of spending money when if i go to China.... aaarg, right now everythings pointing to go-go, but if i 'really' think about it, its probably a bad idea.... aaaaaaah help mee jeeebus!!!!

Dreaming of NY again.

Hey, ya'll. I'm really travel-sick for New York again. I seriously thought for a while it was going to be a fad, that would go away and never come back. But oh was i wrong. I keep on thinking of all the places that I went to in NY and how I really really REALLY want to go back. I want to go back to Times Square and shop till midnight. I want to go eat at those 2 delicious Japanese restaurants. I want to go back to the Metropolitan Museum because it was my favorite and I loved it. I want to go back to Canal Street and Chinatown and that super sparkly accessory store. I want to go back to Sephora and H&M. I want to go back to Pearl River Mart. I want to go clothes shopping, and I want to go and have dinners at fancy restaraunts with all my friends and then retreat to our closet sized dorms. Oh NEW YORK. Theres something that reminds me of you every day. The other day at work a customer left a mini day-planner/notebook. And it was slow and i'm an incredible snoop so i looked through it. And what did i find? Street Addresses in New York. Sad thing is i recognized them. Lexington ave. 34th East and 5th Street. Oh how i daydream. I really really want to go to NY maybe next year after I graduate w/ Jess and Iris and Ling. I'd ask Cathy too but as I discovered when i went 5 people is a hard number to travel in. 5 people dont fit in a cab, and its hard to find a room for 5 people too. OH i'm the opposite of homesick. I want to buy so much stuff... so much stuff.... *sob sob* Where is my tough (but soft) good looking, good smelling, tall, well dressed, night in shining armor who goes to NY on a regular basis..... high standards?? who says I have high standards

i really never knew....

...and probably will continue to never know. But anyways. I've got a new admirer! Hahah this happens quite NOT often. But anyways. He was talking to me yesterday and we got on the topic of girlfriends and boyfriends. And it was discovered that both of us have neither. And when he found out I was single he said *wow really i didn't know, because you were kinda giving off the i'm-not-interested "signs"*.... SAY WHA?? "SIGNS"??? What signs are we talking about? I had absolutely no idea i emitted these such signs. Maybe thats how come i've been single so long. Hoy jeebus. I hope someone helps me take down these signs cuz i shure dont want super gangster man to see them. Hahaha... hum... i'm a nerd. But yeah I thought that was super shocking to hear, especial from a guys POV. I'll try and take note. Jess just told me that i'm too introverted (she also told me that it meant i keep to myself, cuz my vocabulary is horrible). I guess that could be true. I never really noticed, but I guess i do keep my guard up really high when meeting new people. That probably has to do w/ the horrible experiences I've had in the past. And also that when i think a guy is flirting w/ me, I re-think and figure that I'm thinking too much. And that... i guess if i found out he was just being nice to me I'd be sad cuz i shoulda known he wasn't interested.... ugh... it hurts mama....

prophesizing the future??

.... is possibly my new calling ;) Hahaha if all else fails. I dug out my tarot cards last week and started reading my fortune a lot. And i know that the cards are supposed 2 be really generic so they could hold true to anyone, but I think my readings have been creepily true (on a good day that is). For starters I keep on drawing a lot of cards from the cups suit. And i never knew this the very first time but apparently if there are a lot of 'cup' cards in your reading it means that there is a lot to do with the feelings of the heart. And personally I believe that is true cuz I always have like... unreturned feelings/ dissapointment in love life. yadda yadda. Hahah. Um... what else. Oh right, my readings, everytime i do them, always are negative. Its quite depressing too. Like my cards are almost always upside down and they say things like... i've been taken advantage of, Im a lonely person, etc, etc. Last week it said that I was going to meet a guy who isn't very energetic and doesn't enjoy going out/doing activities. (so devastated). And then at work I was did Jason, Yvonne, and Henry's reading. Jason's said that he would advance in work/ come into more money, and that he was going to meet a girl who he might settle down w/. (When i read that, and remembered what my reading was i was SHOCKED). And then I read Yvonne's and it said... soemthing like she was going to meet a tall dark and handsome guy who was energetic and enjoyed going out. (SAY WHAAA???) Haha and then i read Henry's and it said that he is a wealthy family man, and he will be coming into MORE money. Henry and Jason's part about the money is pretty true from my POV since jason is getting promoted to head chef at the new southside location. But what happened next i was NOT expecting. I went 2 work yesterday and the chefs/servers were making fun of jason cuz he was GOING ON A DATE!! holy shit do I rock or what? hahah Apparently him and the new hostess were taking a liking to each other. I told jason that his fortune came true and he said *well i was expecting that to happen in like a few years, not 2 days* I laughed. hahaha. So lady's and gents a secret admirer of mine is shall no longer be admiring me. Hah hah... yeah it was a little bit dis-heartening, but at the same time, Why Should I Care? I mean its not like I liked him right. And also if I did, i had a lot of chances. YARG i dont even know why i'm writing this blog, since I have a feeling that it sounds kinda jealous. harr...which i'm NOT.

saw David Copperfield today

I went to see David Copperfield today w/ my family. I believe it was our very first family outting with all 5 of us. I'm a little upset to offer a sigh for the day. I was a little bit....dissapointed.... It made me sad cuz I think its because i'm getting old. I remember when I was little I used to watch David Copperfield w/ a passion and I loved his magic tricks. I was seriously amazed when I saw him on tv. Today.... i dunno why I kept on thinking about how it was fixed and how he chose specific audience members. It was really sad. All the really amazing stuff about how he got like.... the car underneath the cover so incredibly fast, or made things appear/disappear. I shoulda been amazed at that stuff but... i dunno. I just kept on thinking about the technical stuff and how, i knew it wasn't really magic and that it was just clever tricks. Arg really depressing. I wanted to see a lot more of his.... really magical tricks. Like flying or something. A lot of his stuff today was done w/ the help of machines and videos, so I thought it really took it away. I kept on saying that the audience members must've been in on it, because that was the only way. And I thought a lot of the dialouge exchange seemed so staged. Arg I'm such a critic I dont know whats happened to me. However, the very last trick that he did, I thought was going to make me believe again. DC started throwing out these giant blowup balls and said whoever was holding one when the music stopped would get to go on stage. And seriously when Felix caught that rubber ball i was like *holy shit, this is gonna be amazing, this is totally going to put my doubts away if he makes felix disappear* But alas. All they made felix do was sit in a chair and watch the OTHER people disappear. quite depressing. i dont want to be old... sob sob

But on another note. I remembered something from watching Memoirs of a Geisha the other day. Even considering that it had your typical *cinderella-like* story line. There was one line that i really liked. The old Chiyo narrator said something like "Now anyone was calling themselves a Geisha" I dunno why but that line really stuck in my head. When i was lying in bed that night I kept on thinking of that and why i made note of it. I just think that... something like a true Geisha is an art. And if you think being a Geisha means wearing pretty kimono's and make up, you cant seriously understand what a real Geisha is. If I was the real life Sayuri I would be SO angry seeing these young adolescent girls walking around practically mocking something that meant so much to me. I mean, how many years of training did it take Chiyo and all those other girls to become even a miko. And then here in the exact same place they grew up were tons of girls walking around pretending to be Geisha's and having absolutely no clue what it meant to be a Geisha. Arg. Just thinkging about it makes me kinda angry. I mean, not just the art of Geisha, but a lot of other things that people do too. Good things take time to learn and I guess maybe it kind of annoys me at how people are always trying 2 find faster ways to get it. The only example i can think of right now is those, 'get-rich scheme's' or these tv degrees, that say you can get a good degree in 4 months in the comfort of your own home. Its kinda disgusting. Why can't you be like everyone else and work hard for 4 years. Its disgusting seeing someone flaunt something off that they haven't properly earned. I think the equivilant of that currently is the word poseur. (spell check) In high school I think i might've been one, and i feel kinda ashamed. As of now I dont 'think' I'm one anymore, but I'm not sure. If I am someone please tell me.

Singing in the Rain.

I'm still taking a film studies class, but this one doesn't require a film journal. Even so, I liked writing those journals so i think i'll continue w/ it.

Singing in the Rain.
Ho hum, we watched 'Singing in the Rain' on Thursday, and i actually really really liked that movie. If i had actually written this post on Thursday I would've been able 2 comment a lot more on it. I really liked the Cosmo character (Donald O'Connor). I thought he was funny and cute. I pretty much liked everything about that movie. It had a good storyline, good characters, good dancing. haha the dancing comment could have to do w/ the fact that i just started watching *so you think you can dance* and am especially paying attention to dance rountines and footwork now. Yahahah. I can't remember what else i liked about that movie..... Oh i know that i thought Lina Limore* was super annoying. *I caan't staaaand 'em* hahaha

i've been on a movie binge this week. I watched The Covenant, Snakes on a Plane, The Constant Gardener, and Memoirs of a Geisha. The last one is the only one i watched through its entirety and therefore is the only one i would like to comment on.

Memoirs of a Geisha
I thought this movie was also equallly good. I really liked this movie too. I thought i read somewhere that Memoirs didn't get good ratings, but i thought it was really good. I remember reading that people felt the english and dialouges were really bad, but personally i thought they were really well done. I like hearing japanese/chinese people speak english with their accents. (Grammatically correct English that is) I liked the story line too. Hahah typical Cinderella/happy ending story. Me love those. Sigh.... so pretty. Hahah, i'm listening 2 music right now, along w/ talking 2 people on msn which is why these journal entries suck. haha so non descriptive.

anyways. I went 2 work this past friday and saturday. And this is the week were no one came. Hahah. I was doing tarot card readings at work on friday and i was pretty on. It was fun. I like readint ppls fortunes and hearing them say *hey thats pretty good* YEAH rock on. Maybe i should make a profession as a tarot card reader. ;) anyums I gotta go 2 bed now so i can wake up 2 work 2morrow. Buh bye

getting old is depressing

never thought i'd say that. but its true. So so depressing. This is they year were i have discovered i am old. hahah....*sigh* For xmas i only had 5 presents this year.... I rememeber when me and my brothers were little and the xmas tree was swamped by presents. haha i'm greedy. any hoo. 1 of my presents wasn't even wrapped, and 1 of them i already knew what it was. So the 1st present i opened was a bottle of mans cologne. (or really bad women's perfume) and the second one was a baby blue Nike sweater. if any of you know me you'll know that i dont wear baby blue, nor do i wear nike. (i asked my mom if she wanted the perfume and the sweater. haha i'm a jerk) And then i was done opening my presents. so sad. Hhaha well it wasn't THAT bad, my brothers chipped in and got me a DS Lite and mario 64. So that was good. I played mario for at least 12 hours on the 26th. Hahah, its quite sad.
And then, do you nkow what i did on new years eve after the count down? I went over to yee sum's place and played ds w/ alex grace and jess. Hahaha oh boy. i recall i even said *boy i'm tired,* at 11:45 PM. hahaha im a disgrace to 21 year olds everywhere. but speaking of ds i think i'm going to go up and play some. i sense mario is feeling lonely. MWA HWA HWA

an arm and a leg...

...is what i'd give for this kakashi plushie. Its selling on ebay for like 45USD. So ladies and gents, xmas passed already. I hate to say it, but christmas is getting more and more depressing each year.... present-wise that is. Hahaha. how sad, i'm all about the presents baby. I opened my first 2 presents and they consisted of a perfume (which i still believe is a man's cologne), and a baby blue nike sweater (if you've seen what i wear you'll know i dont wear baby blue). Haha i asked my mom if she wanted either. And after those 2 presents I was already 3/4 done. le sigh. Hahah my parents got me a chinese translator machine thing. Supposed 2 be pretty high tech, but i haven't figured out how to use it yet. My brothers got me a nintendo DS. which i told them was my favorite present of the. yahoo. Hahah i've been playing mario 64 nonstop for the past 2 days and I've got 40 stars already. I remember when i was like 10 and playing the original mario 64 it took me 2 months to get 40 stars. Hahah so sad. Any ways i should probably go to sleep. Or actually i plan on sitting in bed and playing mario till the battery dies. Mwa ha ha.

never again.

even though there was over 100 people at kyoto's staff party today, i have never felt so alone in my entire life. It was so awkward, and i just sat by the hostess stand eating dinner. I had like 1/4 of what i couldve eaten because i was depressed. I almost cried when my servers asked me where my brothers were. I'm positive that i was the only one who was there by themselves. Its absolutely impossible that one couldn't have found at least one friend to bring with them, UNLESS you are corinna. My brothers decided they had better things to do than give face and come w/ me to my staff party. they decided that they would much rather clean the toilet than come w/ me. pretty disgusting that they were my last hope eh? I dont think anyone has any clue as to how much this meant to me. In elementary, and high school and university i didn't have that many friends. and the ones that i had i loved being with. I love all my friends and family and i'm happy when everyone is happy and together. I love spending time w/ them and i dont really like being alone. So imagine if you will how it would feel to have your closest friends move away. Yeah so i thought i got over it, and i figured it wasn't so bad. But today it was really hard. It just made me realize how little friends i have when i couldn't find anyone to go with. And when my brothers didn't want to go and instead stayed at home doing something they could do any other day, imagine how i felt. It was that horrible feeling all over again of being alone. Thats all i could think of even though i was surrounded my so many people. so naturally i cried. i cried to work, i cried from work. i cried after work in the tub. pretty sad because i went to soak in the tub and when i lay down i cut myself on a mother fucking piece of glass IN THE TUB. but in reality it wasn't that bad cuz i was already bleeding anyways from my own self inflicted injuries. it worries me though cuz last time i did this i dont remember their being any blood, and this time (it couldve just been cuz i was in the tub and wet) it actually started dripping a little. so yeah it appears my life is actually getting worse, and not better as i previously though. little bit worried what might happen if there is a next time. this is so sad. it just fucking SUCKS that i dont have anymore close friends out here. I seriously couldve used one tonight. i wouldve loved to have someone to TALK TO during dinner tonight, and if not that i would've loved to have a friend's place to go to after the party. I didnt want to come home to this stupid apartment where my brothers are completely fucking oblivious to how much pain i'm in. i serioiusly dont understand sometimes how i'm even related to them. fuck i shoulve just rented a hotel like i originally thought and stayed there for the night. I coulda fucking cut myself as much as i wanted there and at least i wouldn't feel bad about no one worrying because i'm actually fucking alone.

hey

so yeah, my pretty good day today just turned really bad in an hour. all because my brothers are jerks. so christmas day is coming up and kyoto is having their yearly staff party. and this is the first year where i'll actually be able to go cuz i'm in town. each person is supposed 2 be allowed to bring 2 people. however my brothers are jerks and they wont come w/ me. and all my friends are out of town. rather my only friends are out of town. so no one will go with me. i started crying in the car today because i was really sad. its such a stupid thing but it means a lot to me. like, i was never popular in school and i always had very few friends and i always felt that people didn't like me and that they thought i was weird. after i got my job at kyoto i started to open up a bit. but also at the same time i always still feel this barrier between me and my workmates because i dont open up completely and i still sit by myselves sometimes. Like all the servers and chefs see each other outside of work at least once a week to have dinner or shopping or something, so they're pretty close. and like, i just dont want to go to a staff party and have dinner by myself. and i'll feel really awkward joining another family while they're trying 2 have dinner. and i think if i go i might risk even crying because i'll be reminded of how isolated and lonely i am. like honestly, how could one person not have a single friend thats in town that they can take? and worse of all is that my two brothers, 2 ppl who are supposed 2 be closer than friends won't even come with me. that makes me really really sad. like are they ashamed of me or something, i dont see whats the problem with taking 2 hours out of their *busy* life to have free dinner with their sister. it makes me so angry and sad. so i think i'm going to leave before dinner 2morrow, because i really dont want to be there by myself, otherwise i seriously might just sit in a corner and cry. ugh, God, why do you chose to make my life so miserable, and even though i know others have it a LOT worse than not having a dinner date, could you at least stop making me think so hard? if i was a vane, uncaring person then i really wouldn't care about this crap would i? i just think its really unfair how life really isn't equal, and what goes around certainly does NOT come around.
so yes, i'm going to go and take some of the pressure off this hurting feeling i got inside me by doing some you know what *wink wink nudge nudge*

Batmaru

Hello everyone, This is Batman Mashimaru. I bought him today at T&T. hohoho. I'm sad now because there was a Spiderman Mashimaru, Superman Mashimaru, and Ultraman Mashimaru i didn't buy them. After i got home today i felt that Batmaru was a bit sad from being seperated from his fellow superhero-maru's. If i have time i will go back to WEM and buy the rest of them. HOHOHO. but what makes Batmaru EXTREMELY special is that the lady UNDERCHARGED ME for him!!!! (yes that requires FOUR exclamation marks) i'm pretty sure i remember the price tag being 9.99. But after i paid and left the store i looked at the receipt and seen 5.98! I quickened my pace after so she couldn't chase me. MWA HAHAA. haha yes that is my exciting news for the day today.
I've been scheduled to work like a horse this week. Its crazy. I'm working all day 2morrow (friday. aka the death dealing day). Sigh. My only motivation is that I seriously need money to pay for the 1000$ i've spent on xmas gifts. sob sob. Haha. and here i am still buying useless mashi's. Oh i seen a guy at work today who i thought looked like one of my classmates who i used to have a uber crush on. haha. I seen him a couple times and every time i see him i always think the same thing. But yeaaah. Thats all for now. I should prolly sleep now and prepare for the long day ahead of me 2morrolow.
PS walmart is supposidly open 24 hours this week ;) See Ya all there tomorrow!

Today is the week were they didn't have a secret rendevous

So, proof of how Barley, Ben and Bob are in cahoots. Last week and the week prior too I saw all 3 of them (well i guess minus Ben because i think he only comes in on saturdays) And this ENTIRE WEEK. I saw....'neither of them'.... dun Dun DUUUUN. Hahah which is a good thing i guess. Because i looked pretty bad. Last week i guess from all the stress and cleaning I looked like i should've been quarrantined.... seriously. My lip bloated up and started bleeding, my ear got infected, my nose was all stuffy, my eyes were kinda red, and i had breakouts gallore (most noticeably the giant pimple on my nose) Dear Lord it was quite sad. So whoever pays attention to this blog, should know that i moved out of my room and am currently sharing a different one w/ my brother. I'd just like to note how 'extremely' hard it is to fall asleep in that room. Its so f'ing hot in there. Also, my brother likes to turn on his super bright lamp when i am sleeping, or trying to sleep, and i therefore do not fall asleep. He also likes to play his new PSP hooked up to his speakers when i am sleeping or trying to sleep and i also therefore do not sleep. le sigh. So i had maybe like 3-4 hours of sleep last night before getting up this morning at 10 to go 2 work till 9. *sob sob*

But aside from that my mom came back from HK. Whoo-HA-whoo. I was trying 2 study in the living room for my mandarin final and she kept on empyting out her suitcase showing me everything that she bought. She actually put clothes on top of my notes and said *LOOK A MOY!!!!* Hahah, my mom bought me a lot of stuff. I feel kinda bad.... but at the same time i dont because i'm a greedy bastard. OHOHOH. But also at the same time, i am too fat to wear all the cool clothes she bought me from HK. The skirts she bought me are too short cuz my hips are to big, and the hoody she bought me....well lets just say HK ppl have f' ing short arms. The hoody looks like a 3/4 sleeve when i wear it, and then i just feel like an idiot wearing it because i know its not supposed 2 be 3/4 sleeve. Sigh, i'll try and change the sleeves during xmas break or something. But anyhoo, i gotta go 2 bread now, so i can fall asleep before my brother goes 2 sleep, and also so that i can wake up early 2morrow and study for my 2 exams that i have on tuesday.... Oooooh shoot me now!!

With my powers of super stalking....

....i was able to discover Barleys real name! However.... i extremely embarassed myself today. and yes i know that sentence is grammatically incorrect. So anyways. Barley and his lady friend came in today. And we only had table 4 open so i took them there. And aside from 'hi' and 'table for 2', he hasn't really said anything to me before. So i was extremely surprised when he noticed that i wasn't wearing contacts today and said soemthing like "Of all the times i've seen you, i dont think i've ever seen you wear glasses." and he smiled at me. And because i was in extreme shock from the that only thing i managed to do was so 'squeak' out a sighed *aaaaw*. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea why i said that. And after i said that i put down their menus and ran away. hahah GREAT impression Corinna. Great. le sigh. Of all the things i could have said. I could have laughed a witty laugh, said 'i dont wear them often', made a joke about being lazy, ANYTHING but squeaked out that sound. SIIIIGH hahah i seriously am living a the life of a cheezy teen flick aren't i. But yeah. barley is pretty, and i honestly think he has an azn fetish. All of his lady friends are all azn. Wee-yad. BUT change of pace here.

I dont think i've actually commented on volume 10 of Trigun Maximum yet. But, it was extremely good, and EXTREMELY sad. i read it the same amout of times as vol. 9, and i think i like 10 more. Vash made a much appreciated appearance. Oh poor vash...OH POOR WOLFWOOD. *sob sob* But, from what i believe I think Livio will make and excellent....new partner for Vash. Le sob. I know there was a longer more intriguing entry for this but i am extremely tired, and my vision is starting to shake. I got demoted in living accomodations today. Hahah, from my own suggestion, but i moved out of my room, and am now sharing a room w/ my big brother so that my 2nd brother will stop being a jerk and sleeping on the couch. Sooo sacrificed some of my privacy so my brother could get his back. But ah whatever. I guess it was worth it, I haven't seen Tchow smile that many times in a long time, so i guess its all good. Hahah. But on the other hand our place looks like its been hit by a tornado....

Doo dee doo, I seen Barley tonight!

Ho hum. Today was the official last day of classes. I was so excited because I would finally get the night off, and I was looking forward to taking an extra long nap. Alas I had a feeling that this would not be the case. For at 3 30 my workmate called me and asked me to work for her. Annnd since i no longer had class 2 attend, I had no excuse. So I went to work. And made some much needed money. As will happen tomorrow as well after i got suckered into working all day. Sigh.... BUT on the plus side i seen Barley today. Him and his supah gangsta buddies. Hohoho. I tried to avoid standing suspiciously at the hostess stand as he waited for his buddies to pay. So i went and cleaned every table possible. And even after that he was STILL standing there waiting for his lady friend to pay. So i waited in the kitchen for the longest time ever. And came back out. And he was STILL there. So i went and stood by the hostess stand for several awkward mintues having nothing to do. hahaha. Yes. that is my story. La Fin. I dont nkow why i'm avoiding that guy either.... weeeird. Wlep i gotta go sleep now so i can spend my whole day making money.... sigh.

While at the Library Reading a Fable

Ho hum heres another fable I found to be pretty interesting. This one more funny than the previous one

The Lion, The Fox, and the Stag

A lion sick in his den, unable to provide himself with food. So he asked to his friend the Fox, who came to ask how he did, "My good friend, I wish you would go to yojnger wood and beguile the big Stag, who lives there, to come to my den" I have a fancy to make my dinner off a astag's heart and brains." The Fox went to the wood and found the Stag and said to him, "My dear sir, you're in luck. You know the Lion, our King: well, he's at this point of death, and has appointed you his successor to rule over the beasts. I hope you wn't forget that I was the first to bring you the good news, And now I must be going back to him; and, if you take my advice, you'll come to and be with him at the last." The Stag was highly flattered, and followed the Fox to the lion's den, suspecting nothing. No sooner had he got inside than the Lion sprang upon him, but he misjudged his spring, and the Stag got away with only his ears torn, and retunring as fast as he could to the shelter of the wood. The Fox was much mortified, and the Lion, too, was dreadfully disappointed, for he was getting very hungry in spite of his illness. So he begged the Fox to have anohter try at coaxing the Stag to his den. "It'll be almost imipossible this time," said the Fox, "but I'll try"; and off he went to the wood a sencond time, and found the Stag resting and trying to to recover from his firgnt. As soon as he saw the Fox he cried, "You scroundrel, what do you mean by trying to lure me to my death like that? Take yourself off, or I'll do you death with my horns." But the Fox was entirely shameless. "What a coward you were," said he; "surely you didn't think the Lion meant any harm? Why, he was only going to whisper some ryal secrets intyou your ear when you went off like a scared rabbit. You have reather disgusted him, and I'm not sure he won't make the wold King instead, unless you come back and once and show you've got some spirt. I promise you he won't hurt you, and I will be your faithful servant." The Stag was foolish enought to be persuaded to return, and this time the Lion made no mistake, but overpowered him, and feasted right royally upon his carcase. The Fox, meanwhile, watching his chance, and when the Lion wasn't loking, filched away the brains to reward him for his troulbe. Presently the Lion began searching for them, of course without success: and the Fox, who was watching him, said, "I dont think it's much use your looking for the brains: a creature who twice walked into a Lion's den can't have got any."

Hahah. stupid Stag.

While Reading a Fable

I was at the library looking for books for my project a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon a section with Aesop's fables. So having just finished my first 2 exams and having plenty of reading time for the next week and a half, I decided to rent out one of the books. Obviously his fables are speckled with morals and I've found that most of them are pretty much bittersweet. This following one that I just read, made me pretty sad actually for the lion..... poor guy.

The Lion in Love
A Lion fell deeply in love with the daughter of a cottager and wanted to marry her; but her father was unwilling to give her to so fearsome a husband, and yet didn't want to offend the Lion; so he hit upon the following expedient. He went to the Lion and said, "I think you will make a very good husband for my daughter: but I cannot consent to your union unless you let me draw your teeth and pare your nails, for my daughter is terribly afraid of them." The Lion was so much in love that he readily agreed that this should be done. When once, however, he was thus disarmed, the Cottager was afraid of him no longer, but drove him away with his club.

.... aaaaw. All of the fables up until that one had guessed correctly what the outcome was. But for some reason this one took me completely by surprise. Ah i've said it once and i'll say it again, I'm a hopeless romantic. Anyhoo thats all for now. Just a little quote on a silly fable.... *sigh*

Xala

TRY TO BE SUPER QUICK TODAY I WAS SUPPOSED 2 BE ASLEEP AN HOUR AGO

Xala
Today was the screening for Xala. I'm actually kind of bittersweet about this film. I didn't really enjoy it, and i also didn't really hate it either. It probably has to do with the feelings towards El Hadji, too. In the beginning I think I really disliked him, but as the film progressed I started to feel sorry for him, especially at the end, but still at the same time I felt like he had it coming. I would have like Xala more, I think, if they could have done something to make the 2 languages more distinguishable, because for a while i didn't know they were speaking 2 different languages, and I think this would have gave a stronger effect during the scenes were Rama was talking to her father in his office, and also the scene where El Hadji was presenting his case to the other members of his work. Um... I also made note about the clothing through out Xala. There was always the traditional African American loose colorful print garbs, and then the business suit/ Western clothes. The clothing difference stood out the most, when El Hadji went to visit those African 'doctors' to take away his Xala. Here he was, in a full business suite and briefcase, looking so out of place in an isolated African village, when usually, it is the other pople who look out of place in El Hadji's world. Also, Adja (1st wife) was always wearing the traditional clothes, and Rama would alternate between the two. Oumi (2nd wife) and her family all wore Western clothes and it felt like those people were always asking for money. The first thing the eldest son did when he seen El Hadji was ask for money, and same with the 2nd wife, even saying that what he gave wasn't enough. What I thought was really ironic and sad was that, even though El Hadji seemed to care the least about Adja (ie. he didn't give them money, and when he was rid of his Xala for those few days it was Oumi who he went to visit), and jet Adja and Rama were the ones who welcomed him back to their homes after he lost his job and went broke. There was also a lot of juxtapositions of culture throughout this movie, that if one wasn't paying attention to, they might not have caught it. First I caught the clothing juxtaposition. Also, when El Hadji's workmates where casting votes about whether or not they should exclude him from their group they put the ballots in a tribal centerpiece. So symbols of 'civilization' (voting) vs. 'un-civilazation' (the tribal mask). And also the whole idea of trying to cure El Hadji's Xala. Basically trying a tribal remedy for a modern day problem. I also wanted to point out is the title Xala itself. I thought it was interesting to note that to the unknowing audience (ie. Me) they wouldn't find out what Xala was until pretty much half way through the movie. My first guess was that Xala was the name of an important female character.

aw hell no

It is 3AM. I am not asleep, nor have i slept. After publishing my last post and stating i was going to sleep. I did not. Instead I spent 2 hours reading some other guys blog. YOU IDIOT.

Mwa Ha Ha

Hey everybody. Hows it all goin'. I was asking my brothers today about if they could, how would they choose to have their luck dispersed. You guys ponder too. Would you rather have all your luck dispersed evenly through ought every day so that every day is around average. Or would you choose to have your luck bundled up and have spurts of extremely good luck days follwed by spurts of extremely bad luck days? I always think that my luck is similar to the latter one. I always have certain really good days and followed by really bad days. Yaaah. I think if I could chose, I'd leave it. Because it when i have really really good days. They make me extra happy. But of course that means I have really bad days, and yes they make me angry and stressfull, but I still like the feeling I get after I get home from a really good day.
Hohoh. today was an above average day I guess.. or at least it ended pretty well. The weekend was really swell too so thats why i brought it up. Main reason for todays entry. I GOT MY FIRST A+ PAPER TODAY DAWGS!! Whoo man you guys have no idea how surprised and happy I was. Especially considering I totally wasn't expecting it. I got it on my Film Studies Critcal Project. I have it in my hand right now. Hee hee. So happy. I'm also feeling pretty upbeat because I have pretty much all 3 of my papers done now. I just have 2 write the last entry for my ArtH response. And if I have time I'll touch up my C. Literature paper. (Which I had decided as being 'done' yesterday but decided not to hand it in after like 5 hours of debating.) But anyhoo, someone praise me on my A+!! I'm so happy, haha i actually rejoiced when i walked into the house. My brothers didn't say anything to me though :( I was really proud, haha. I dunno how this is possible but I'm doing so much better this year than my other years. Which seems ironic because this year I'm balancing 5 courses, and a part time job, whereas in previous years I've always had less than 5 courses and in 1st year I didn't even have a job. How Bizarre. Now I just hope I do well on the 3 papers that I'm going to be handing in this week.....and on all my exams.... I dunno how my brother is doing in his school work. I hope hes doing okay. I seen his report today and I dunno if maybe I'm just reading it wrong, but it seems like hes not doing that great. He prolly has no clue cuz hes a jerk, but it really bothers me sometimes. And everyday I always worry for him too. I get so angry cuz he always sleeps on the couch, even though theres a perfectly good bed in the other room for him. Knowing from experience, it makes school work extra stressful if you cant concentrait or dont get a good nights sleep. I seriously thought about moving into felix's room so he could have his room back, but then I'd be the one stressed out since felix wakes up earlier than I do and he always wakes me up in the process. Tchow on the otherhand wakes up earlier than both of us so I dont see why he doesn't sleep in the room. Its so dumb. Gah, its the most obvious solution and it works best too, I just dont understand why hes such a jerk.
Harg, i dunno how that last bit came up, but I'm a bit upset now. I think i'll go off on a tangent about work on Friday and how I think some of my customers are in cahoots w/ each other :) Haha I swear. Theres these 3 (sometimes 4) customers that i recognize that (i believe) dont know each other. And everytime I see 1 of them, the other 2 always come in either later in the day, or the next day I work. And then. I wont see all 3 of them for like 2-3 weeks. And then, 1 of them shows up, and the other 2 show up later on. Its creepy. But strangely gratifying when I see them. Becase they are pretty.... Tee hee. haha i'm dense. BUT ITS TRUE! I told Yvonne, and she laughed. She asked me who and she only knew who 'ben' was. He cut his hair into a mohawk, since the last time i seen him. It was extremely hot. Hahah I was in the kitchen getting stuff and Yvonne told me my take out was here. And i went outside and i seriously dropped my jaw. hey you got extremely hot since the last time i seen you ;) haha which i didn't say. Tee hee. so purty. I dont know the gangster guys name but since Yvonne noticed the other 2 guys' names start w/ B, she said, "Maybe his names Barley" And i laughed. because that is such a gangster name. Hahah. Welp I gotta go 2 shower now. So then I can get up 2morrolw and finish my 2 papers and maybe Mandarin. And then on Thursday I plan on going to WEM, since I haven't went since September. There is a giant stash of money that I have saved up because I haven't had anything to spend it on. Would anyone like to accompany me? O-hohoho

地狱天堂

Hey yooo.
Such a productive long weekend eh? NOT. I actually didn't get 'anything' done while i was in fort mac. (Unless you count dot-to-dots) I was so sad. Hahah, but the last 3 days however have been quite productive :P On Tuesday morning during the 5 hour bus ride out here I actually finished the entire reading for CLit. It was great. I took a nap from Ft Mac to Grasslands. And after we left Grasslands I started to read for what felt like 10 mintues. I finished reading the entire story. And when I looked up. The bus was in Edmonton. I felt so accomplished. It turns out that I had actually read soemthing like 50 pages. Hahah. After I got back into Edmonton I took a nap, and then i watched way to much tv with my brothers. And then finally I went in and started my Comparative Lit paper. I hate starting papers but once i get into the groove its a lot better. I'm still not quite finished it yet and am missing like... ~200 words. But its certainly better than 1500. Classes resumed on Wednesday so I was pretty much on campus the whole day. And at night I actually finished writing my 3 film journals. Quite pleased. Hahah. Today I woke up around 12 and dooked around before settling down to re-watch The Conversation. I really like that movie. Anyways, so i finished my FS paper, (that one was more smooth and successfull I think) I tried to start on my ArtH responses but I'm having trouble finding articles and stuff. The internet had zilch, and my library search brought up nothing too. I hope i can find some stuff in the library tomorrow or I think i might be in a little trouble.
But anyways. If anyone noticed my title for this blog is in Chinese. It literally translates to Hell Heaven. (Say Whaaa?) Haha, its a title of a chinese song that I've been looking for, for like... 6years now. I FINALLY FOUND IT. MWAHAHAH. So happy. All thanks to my amazing sleuthing skills. And like the help of 3 sites. Hahah. It was ACTUALLY by pure coincedence that i bumped into the MV of it on youtube. (thanks ling). I also discovered how to type 神劍魔刀 !! AMAZING! hahah Thats the chinese name for *The Divine Sword and Possessed Sabre* aka the Blood Stained Intrigue. If i really think about it it was a complete waste of my time as I cant really do anything with it. But it sure was morale boosting! I listened to the 地狱天堂 song like 500 times now. Its so nice. Ohohoh. Har har, but anyhoo, i'm gonna jet now. Might be a long day tomorrow. Chow

Rear Window

Hohum, since its been exactly a week that means I have 2 journals to post up tonight. The screening for tonight was Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window and a short film called Les Filles du Roi.

Rear Window
I really enjoyed watching tonights screening of Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. I thought the plot was nice and the characters Jeff, Lisa and Stella were also exeptional. I also enjoyed this film because it almost seemed to have more than one story going on at one time. Depending on which window Jeffrey was looking at, the audience would then get a glimpse at a different story line with different people in it. There was Miss Torso and her dancing and the many young gentlemen she would sometimes have over. And then there was Miss Lonely-heart and her story of trying to find a partner. And also there was the pianist and his story about trying to finish composing his songs. And of course the story of Mr and Mrs Thorwald. I liked how all of these 'mini-stories' made up the main story and it was done without being confusing at all. Alfred Hitchcock is said to be the master of suspense, and I'll say that for this movie I think he did a wonderful job. The very first hint the audience gets that trouble is coming, is when Stella is introduced and says something like, 'i can smell trouble a mile away, and frankly, i smell trouble' I also like how the the character Lisa progressed throughout the story. In the beginning she was always all dressed up and posh talking about things like the Waldorf, and Harpers Bazaar. Jeff and Lisa then argued about how 'she couldn't live in his world, and he couldn't live in her world'. Lisa then starts changing when Jeff introduces the thought about murder next door. She starts snooping around (ie finding out the names of the Mr and Mrs) and near the climax of the film she actually volunteers herself to dig up the flowerbed. I thought it was great showing Lisa climb up the fire escape and into the Thornwald's apartment, nearly killing herself, all the while doing it in a fancy dress and high heels. The ending of the movie also wrapped up nicely as it showed happy endings in all the windows, including Jeff and Lisa's.

A little side note that I made at the very beginning of this movie. I never watched Rear Window before, but I did recognize it from an episode of the Simpson's Treehouse of Horror. I immediately recognized the storyline when I seen the foot-in-cast, wheelchair-bound, spying Jeffries since it was the exact same image shown of Bart Simpson in that episode. I found it all the more interesting to watch because, in the Simpsons episode, the murderous neighbor is actually innocent and all of the 'clues' that point to him being a murderer are actually a bunch of coincedences. I kept on wondering if the Simpsons episode was exactly the same as Rear Window and that the outcome would mean that Mr Thorwald was also innocent and that Jeffries, like Bart was just thinking too deeply. So the fact that I had two suspenses going on at the same time, made this film even more enjoyable.

Les Filled du Roi
I was actually surprised that this short film wasn't quite what I expected it to be. After just finishing watching a 2 hour movie I figured I was going to be quite restless and bored throught this film. But as it progressed I thought it wasn't too bad. I guess I wasn't expecting the Feminism theme to be portrayed, and the fact that I felt it was portrayed really well probably aided in my liking of this film. The constant portrayal of women in their 'workplace' mass producing things. Rows and rows of sewing maching operators, data entry workers, it showed how women's jobs at the time weren't unique at all. It was like watching a bunch of lab rats in a cage, you couldn't tell who was who. The narration wass really well done too. I didn't notice how all the women, while at work to 'be closer to their husbands' were actually more in contact with strangers rather than their loved ones, until the narrator clued me in. The narrator cleared up the idea being conveyed in certain scenes, and also made the audience ponder about thoughts, where as if there were no narrative, the audience would just sit there watching pretty pictures on the screen. Considering that this movie seemed documentary-like and I had immediately labelled it as boring, I actually enjoyed this film as well.

Grand Illusion

So this journal entry is about a week late, but as always, better late than never right.

Today we watched Jean Renoir's Grand Illusion. I actually quite enjoyed this film. We were asked to pay attention to this movie in terms of Bazinian's theory of realism, and since I kept an eye out for this throughout the movie I thought I'd note on it. I especially noticed that Grand Illusion had a lot of long takes. For example, in the beginning when everyone is sitting around the dinner table talking, rather than cut to shots of each individual person, the camera did a 360 degree pan. And later when the camera was at the head of the table it was able to record the groups reaction to the news as a whole rather than single out specific people's reactions. Most of the scenes also had clear fore, middle and backgrounds. One of the main things I noticed about long takes is that it conveys space much better. Rather than cutting to different angles all the time (ike in Battleship Potemkin) the camera usually filmed scenes in one shot. To me it was much less confusing and as a member of the audience I wasn't as confused about where the actors where in relation to each other, and the setting. The size and scale of rooms to me was easier to convey. For example the scene where everyone is getting their parcels from the post office room, the camera just stayed at one angle and continuously panned left and right. The audience could see the entrance to the room on the left, and when the employee went to the back to get their parcels, the camera followed him and we were able to see the back of the room. The action for sure is easier to follow with long takes, but it's certainly not as interesting without editing.
Another thing I'd like to comment on is the usage of comedy in this film. I thought Grand Illusion was absolutely hilarious at certain scenes, and the comedy parts seemed absolutely effortless. All the hilarity was implied through actions and reactions and I thought this was especially nice. Sometimes movies try to hard to be funny but I thought the comedy in this film was great. For example the scene were one of the soldiers dresses up in a skirt and all the other men in the room stare at him. Aside from the man in the dress mumbling about 'how silly he looks', there is no other dialouge. Only shots of him and the crowd of men staring at him longingly thinking that he doesn't actually look that bad. This scene was hilarious, when in actuality there wasn't really much going on in the scene, just implied meanings.

no idea

Just a quick post tonight. It's been a few weeks i think since my last post. And i just want everyone who cares to know that I feel better now. I'm going back to fort mac 2morrow for the long weekend, so we'll see how that goes.
On the lighter side of things, if anyone read my 3rd last post about the supah dreamy guy from Veronica Mars, i've got some stories to elaborate on. Ohohoh. So when i watched the ending to season 1, I was like WTF. cuz i wanted to know who was knocking at her door. And i skimmed a spoiler on Wikipedia (damn you Wikipedia) that the dreamy guy was credited as being Veronica's bf. So i was like oh yay. And then i watched the 1st episode of the 2nd season, and it was seriously F-ed up. Stuff kept on switching around and in the end Veronica didn't end up the dreamy guy. And i was like... SAY WHAAA? and then the episode ended. And i went onto wikipedia cuz i couldnt take the suspense and read the entire series re-cap. Hahah i'm an idiot. But dreamy man and Veronica do get back together again 'late' in the series. So yeah... bittersweet. Yarg. Welp, thats all for now, i gotta go to sleep and get up early 2morrow.

Did it have to start the day after my birthday?....

I believe that this year is going to be a bad year for me. Why, you ask me? Well for starters, less than 24 hours after i turned 21, i started cutting my wrist again. I havent done that in a REALLY long time. (At least not that i remember anyways) I cried really hard in the bathroom too, and i cried again today. I haven't cried in consecutive days in more than 2 years too I think. Yesterday was just a really bad day. I had my belated 'birthday party' (nice eh?) Early in the afternoon Jess gave me a call 2 go to whyte w/ her. I was really tired still but I was like sure whatever. (She said she came out to Edmonton for my birthday, but i really doubted that when she said that. 1st of all we didn't really do anything birthday-ish together, and 2nd of all, she didn't stay at our place, so it leads me to believe, my birthday just coincided w/ some other event she had planned out here) But anyways, so we went 2 eat lunch at Chili's and I was telling her I always get jacked and end up paying more for my meal whenever I go out w/ a certain group of friends and we split the bill. And then for Dinner me, her and a bunch of people went to Japanese Village to eat. Jess left early, (coinciding event?) and because of that i screwed up on how to split the bill (it would have been divided exactly by 7 but she didn't stay so i had to take off a certain percent of the food she didn't eat). But she paid for my share, and that was nice cuz i didn't know, but in the end I ended up dishing out 10$ because of the confusing bill. After dinner we went to city centre to watch the Grudge II. I've been waiting to watch this for a while, and i checked in the SEE paper when it would be showing. There was a showing at 7 15 and i thought that woulda been perfect cuz dinner was at 5 and we could walk right over. But when we got to city centre, the ticket person said that they weren't showing Grudge anymore. I was like WTF. I dont know how it happened but we ended up watching SAW III instead. Within the first 10 mintues of the movie i was really tempted to get up and leave because i DID NOT want to watch the movie. So after the movie ended i was pissed and angry. Then me and Ling went 2 her place 2 get ready to go to a club on jasper w/ tara and jamie. We got ready in like 10 mintues and Tara told us to meet her at 7 11, so the 2 of us waiting like half an hour for the train to go to corona, and then we walked in the snow (PS it started snowing shitloads right after midnight on my birthday.) from corona to 711, where tara called and told us she walked back home, so we walked back towards tara's place, and then we went 2 New City, which was exactly were me and ling got on the train to meet Tara anyways. So we made a huge useless 10 mintues circle in the -5 degree weather. They stayed at New City all night. I didn't really like any of the music because it sucked. And then at 1AM i told them that I was going to go because I still had to work the next day, still had to go 2 lings place to pick up my stuff, and try and call a cab before the clubbing rush began. Those stupid fuck faces didnt listen to a word I said, they were like 10 more mintues 10 more mintues. We fucking ended up staying till almost 2 AM. It makes me so angry because Tara ESPECIALLY thinks of herself first. (Take the Lush story I told awhile back ago). SHE didn't have to fucking work the next day, SHE didn't fucking have to catch a cab home, SHE didn't fucking walk 20 mintues in the snow. Fucksakes, but so when i got back to Lings place All the taxi lines were busy. I i started getting really angry because I KNEW that was going to happen. So i called home hoping maybe Tchow or Felix could come pick me up. And Tchow got really angry at me, which i understand cuz it was late, but he didn't have to fucking swear at me, he could have just said no. And then his car got stuck in the driveway. So i had to find my own way home. And since it was past 2AM by now I knew getting a hold of a cab would be impossible. So i walked 10 blocks home in the snow carrying my birthday presents wearing a light sweater and backless shoes. When i got home my grandparents got angry at me. I told them to go to sleep and when they went into my room to sleep, I took out my trusty serrated knife and started cutting away. I prolly sat on the kitchen floor for a good 30 mintues before going to sleep on the couch. Actually the words 'going to sleep' are way too strong. For, definately, the first time in 2 years i had trouble sleeping. It felt exactly like when i used to have insomnia, and i stayed awake till about 5AM thinking how my life was going downhill again. I dozed off lightybefore I was jarred awake by the sounds of my grandma putting away the pots and pans at 9AM. At 10AM i got out of bed to go to work.
Today was definately not any better. I actually almost cried at work today cuz I was so stressed out. I was pissed off because of how jerk customers piss me off really bad and i cant do anything about it, and how all of the servers suck. They all come in late, leave early and always make me do stuff that the should be doing. 20 mintues before i got off work i was ready to fucking scream and walk out. I dont want to work anymore either. I cried all the way home, and when i got home i went to the bathroom and cried some more before hoping into bed, and playing w/ the knife that is still in my desk drawer.
I think what really makes me depressed is how easily I'm taken advantage of, and how i can't speak up for myself. Also, the fact that my family seems to not notice (or care) that my personality has taken a drastic change makes me upset too. I could be dead or dying in my room and they'd still be outside watching David Blaine and laughing. I wrote in a previous entry that Iris and Cathy moving to BC really upset me, but i didn't publish it because i thought i wasn't realy that upset. I realize now how not true that was. Because now I dont have anyone to call and talk to, and most importantly I dont have any friends that I can actually go over to late at night when i just want to get away from my family. Yesterday I could have really done that. I couldn't sleep because i knew these next 2 days were going to be really bad. I always lose sleep and fall behind in school because my grandparents are here. It might sound greedy but its true. Not only do I NOT have a quiet place to sleep, I also can't do my homework ANYWHERE and I always get jarred awake at like 6AM by my brothers after struggling to fall asleep. I get so stressed out and depressed when my grandparents come out, and its really extra stressful that I'm OBVIOUSLY not myself and everyone chooses to ignore that fact. I'm going to take a shower right now because since yesterday my entire body has been cold, not to mention the cut on my wrist is all swollen too.

Swooning Blog Entry Today

Feel free to skip this entry if you wish because its another giggly school girly entry about some new good looking guy. Haha no this ones not from work, hes actually from tv. (Hes among the ranks and reachability of Michael Rosenbaum, aka sexy lexy) So this new tv show man is Jason Dohring (I think, i actually havent done the whole wikipedia, bio, stalker drill yet) aka Logan Echolls from 'Veronica Mars'. Funny, because the exact same thing that happened 2 Lex Luthor happend to the other guy. I didn't really like him at first, and then i started to think he was good looking, and then i started to love his character. So anyways. I was actually a little bit shocked when he and Veronica got together. But not like 'aw man' shocked but like 'aw thats nice' shocked. I think i like Veronica's character too, so 2 characters i like, getting together is okay. But anyways, Logan's character/ reactions I really like. Just, like i guess maybe thats what i imagine some guy doing to me sometimes. Like, i give him a little thank you peck or soemthing and go 2 walk away, and out of the blue he just grabs me and gives me a looooooong kiss.... *sigh* So yeah, I'd love to have a boyfriend who I could secretly make out with in the girls washroom, and one who would laugh while we're making out. I think thats sexy. hohohoho. BUT, the last episode I just watched was bittersweet because Veronica found out that the one who supplied the roofies that got her raped was Logan. And then she stood him up on their first official 'date', and then the credits rolled, and then it was the end of the dvd, and then felix stopped watching. And i was like..... *so sad...sniff sniff* But, this is supposed to be a suspense drama i think with a lot of twists and turns so *anything* could happen. But taht also means that anything 'could' happen, so Veronica could end up kicking his ass, yadda yadda yadda. Which i hope she doens't because I like him. He has a cute smile, just like bob.
Hahah, so theres the end of Swoon Blog.
So right now is officially my birthday. i'm 21 dawgs. yuh-huh. Dont really feel any different. But then again i never really do. I hope 2morrow is a good day. I dont know if i should wear my 60's costume 2 work or not. I wore my kimono 2 work today and my obi fell apart. Hahah during the busiest time possible, so i had 2 walk around holding the 2 meters of fabric in one hand. But i fixed it. And i'm happy to say that both of my costumes turned out swell. I'm really proud of the kimono cuz i actually made it properly. No real disgusting seams showing and it looks pretty good on me too.... yay. So happy that class go cancelled today. I dont have 2 wake up till 11. yessss. I love sleep, and sleep would love me if it could. Welp ttya'll later.

Oh PS. I made birthday plans for the first time ever. We're going to have dinner at Japanese Village, and then go see Grudge 2, and then I dont know what else will happen after. Hopefully fun. Hopefull I will land myself a Logan Echolls laughing kisser.

The Conversation

Today's Film Journal will be about blank blank blank's The Conversation.

I really enjoyed watching this movie, and I think I can safetly say that of all the films we watched so far, this one was my favorite. I just thought that The Conversation was overall really well done. I made note of lots of small bits that stuck out. For example, in the beginning of the film rather than suddenly start out with a shot of the man in the brown suit, the camera slowly zoomed in on the mime and followed him around till he indirectly introduced the man in the brown suit. And then I thought it was really interesting how without warning the woman and the man's voices suddenly started to break up and get digitalized. It was eerie and because I didn't know what was happening it grabbed my attention right away. I also noticed that there wasn't exactly a lot of dialouge throughout the movie. Like there'd be short sections w/ a lot of dialouge and then a lot of other scenes inbetween w/ little dialouge and more music. One scene that I thought was really interesting was the one where Harry is in the room next to 773. After going out onto the balcony and hearing the girl scream and seeing the blood across the window, I didn't understand if that was 'reality' or if he was just imagining it. I thought it was just bad editing, haha. It wasn't until the end that I discovered that that scene was meant to be unclear, and that the audience isn't supposed to know if it was Harry's imaging or not till the story finishes unfolding. I thought that it was extremely interesting that a director/ editor would be able to convey that type of unclear feeling.

Character-wise, I though Harry Caul was pretty intersting too. It was pretty neat how the director showed us his (almost) obsession with security and privacy. (Ie, the 3 locks on the door, the alarm system, the call to the caretaker about how he got in, etc) It drove the point in pretty quickly that he was really strict about people not getting in his personal space. Continuing with this idea of personal space, trust played an important role in Harry's life too, in that it seemed he didn't want to trust/ open up to anyone. I thought it was kinda sad too, because in the film, the only times he started to open up to people, something resulted because of it. The conversation he had w/ the lady in green about Amy got recorded my Bernie, and as a result everyone laughed at him because 'the bugger got bugged.' That same night, after sleeping w/ the same lady, he awoke to discover that she had taken his audio tapes. Its things like that that probably made Harry so secretive and isolated. Another thing I noted was, because Harry does what he does, he knows how easy it is for someone to spy/record/listen in, on anything he does. And because of this knowlege, he chooses to be isolated from everyone so that no one has the opportunity to spy on him. This idea also plays out in the very last part of the film when Harry is desperately trying to find the 'bug' that Martin & Co. planted in his apartment. He really crossed the line of job and obsession after deciding to break open the religious figurine, and therefore desecrating something he cared deeply for (religion). After this, it was like there was nothing holding him back now, and he continued to tear apart his apartment looking for something that probably wasn't there in the first place.

so schweaty....

Hohoh i just popped out from another bath, this one was more successful than the previous one i attempted to take. hahaha. Another super quicky today. So i seen all of my 'favorite' customers today. Hohoho (and by favorite i mean good looking) Tee hee. This week wasn't as dreamy as last week though. *siiigh* It was quite the opposite actually.... well i guess not the *complete* opposite...but yeaah. As i mentioned yesterday, super gangster man came in. I was a bit sad because his super hot chick is Karen. hahah ooooh well. I thought it was funny cuz when K walked by he did a double take. i laughed...then i cried. haha but not really. i also seen ...wow i actually seen BOTH the guys from 2 weeks ago that i commented about. The one who followed me home and the other guy who was sitting next to him. Coincedence? Maybe they are secret lovers HOHOHO. Hahaha, yvan you are a super scruffy man. You look like you just came back from the wilderness. HOHOH. and i beleve your name is ben, ....well your just pretty. Hhaha BUT. main reason for entry today... well actually not really, so dont get so hung up over yourself. Hahah i seen bob today. Because everybody has a secret name on this blog, and bob is bob's secret name i'll just stick to calling you bob. But, so i seen bob today! I haven't seen him in like 3 months. (same w/ sal, i think i scared him away when i recognized his voice over the phone, haha but YOU TOO, dont get so hung up, i recognize a lot of ppls voices over the phone, especially if they order the same thing, i recognize cynthia, elizabeth, shawn/amanda, george, and that tyler guy) But anyways, so yeah, bob looks the same. Tee hee, super cute big smile. AND one thing i noticed while passing by and cautiously looking at him.... he has a tattoo! I was actually REALLY surpised w/ that one. I dont know why, either cuz i never noticed it before, but prolly more so that i would not expect him to have a tattoo. He doens't look like the type of guy to have a tattoo... But now that i know you are the type of guy to have a tattoo.... oh boy, my opinions of you have changed. ; ) Harg, i think i am drunk from those 3 capfuls of bubble bath i soaked in. So i should probably go.... yeaah. hahah. Sleeeeep.

Embarassing Story #2

Hey ya'll, I have a quick story to tell everybody before i go to sleep. I thought it was pretty embarassing even though nobody saw me. So anyways. Yesterday (wednesday the 18) I stayed all day on campus from 10-10. I dont know why but i just did. I was extremely tired after i got home and my back was killing me. (i had to sit through a 3 hour boring movie for FS class....so horrible) But anyways after i ate supper i decided to take a 'bath'. I never take baths, and the fact that i wanted to shows how sore i was. So i drew myself a bath and sat inside the steamy water for like an hour or soemthing. haha. and then after my bath i unplugged the tub and turned on the shower to rinse off. (skin soup anybody) And i guess because i had been sitting down for so long, and suddenly got up i got a little bit lightheaded. So i just closed my eyes and put my hand on the tile wall to steady myself. Well, apparently, during the 5 seconds i closed my eyes i somehow managed to fall asleep. Yes ladies and gentlemen i fell asleep while standing up. I was so embarassed. Hahaha because i could actually feel myself tipping over and yet my eyes did not open. my brain even said *hey, hello...you are tipping over... wake up* But wake up, i did not. In fact, the only reason my eyes opened was because my knee hit the faucet. hahaha i recal as i was falling i said aloud *oh no, what am i dont* hahahaha. But so yeah. thats my story. If you really really think about it.... its quite hilarious.
PS. super good looking gangster man came in today. And the 'hot chick' is Karen.... for anybody who cares. I was dashed :( hahah but not really. Any hoo gotta go. Later

Cirque du Soleil: Delirium

Hello everybody, so I just came back from Rexall Place after watching Cirque du Soleil. It was pretty amazing. I love watching entertainment circus. (not animals) They are so magical. I get really nervous when people do dangerous stunts. But yes today was pretty great. I will forever remember Mohawk Man, Prepubescent Boy, Sleeveless Guitar Man, Guitar Man with Sleeves, and Drummer. I secretly took pictures at the end. And i had an EXCELLENT photo of Sleeveless Guitar Man, but.... i got too excited when i was taking his picture and the photo turned out blurry. Right after i took the picture, he bowed and left. I was sad. hahaha. But all the performances were really good. I especially liked the hula-hoop lady, and the performers w/ the ribbons. So nice. So yeah, i kept on watching the musicians. haw haw. The guitar players kept on looking into the audience and into the depths of my soul. hohoho. And then there was the good looking mohawk man. haha he had abs of steel. And prepubescent boy. During one act, there were 4 groups of dancers. Each of them was a boy girl pairing except for prepubescent boy, he had a butch man dance w/ him. I laughed. But yes it was pretty good, the 'Special Effects' were really really neat, even if fairly simple, they worked out really really well. If they came to Edmonton or my city again i would definiately go. Even though the tickets were really expensive, because i bought them so long ago it didn't really dawn on me. So yeah i'll say it was worth it. I bought a mask, it looks scary, but it was the prettiest one there. But yeah, i should probably stop writing on here and go do some homework. I have a lot to do, and midterms to study for....*sob sob*

Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds

Hello Corinna fans, how is everyone today. Welp gonna cut straight to it today, Heres my Journal entry from today's screening.

I was quite surprised today after watching Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. It could be because I spent Monday working on the Shot Analysis project, but I found myself paying more attention to the types of shots and camera angles used in this film, than usual. Melanie Daniels' character was almost always shot in soft focus making her seem picture perfect, compared to the crisp shots of other characters. I also noticed the use of different camera angles at different points in the movie. For example, a Dutch Angle Shot was used on Lydia Brenner while she was in bed after seeing her friends mauled body. It added to the unease and confusion that Lydia must have been feeling at the time. Another camera angle I noticed was in the shot where Melanie was inside the telephone booth during the bird attack. The camera was at an unusually high angle showing the very top half of her body as she frantically moved around in the small area making the telephone booth seem that much smaller and confining. Another thing I notced about this movie was lack of sound/ suspense music. This was the first Alfred Hitchcock movie I had watched, and I know that hes supposed to be a master of suspense film, but honestly it completely left my mind that it was supposed to be a thriller. There were quite a few scenes were I though some building thriller music would have made the movie that much more suspenseful and stronger. For example the scene near the end of the film were Melanie (in the Brenner House) goes upstairs to check on a suspicious noise she hears and is about to open the door to the room. It could probably be just me, but I find music and sound play important roles, especial in suspense and horror movies. Someone once told me, that music and sound is what makes a horror movie scary, if you turn of the sound, the movie is no longer scary.
So yes, that is all for this entry. I just thought it was pretty interesting that I was starting to notice some of the technical elements of film, rather than just literal.

Happy Thanksgiving

Yo hoho, check out the awesome turkey cake that me and my brothers and Ling had. It was great. I've always wanted 2 have one of these. I made my brother drive all the way down to whyte ave to check and see if they had one. When he drove into the parking lot and passed by the entrace i had my face smushed to the car window trying 2 get a peek at their freezer. When i seen they had a turkey cake inside i actually screamed, "I SEE THE TURKEY CAKE!!!!" (and interupted my brother.) I actually ran across the parking lot to baskin robbins.... pretty sad eh? Hahaha. The cake cost 25bucks, and Felix, Terence, Ling and me ate it all in one sitting. now THATS sad. hahah. We went to Swiss Chalet for dinner, the chicken there was really good i thought. I never ordered ribs before but for some reason that combo platter was really enticing today. Delichit.
Ling also showed me some of her Lush products. I never really liked the store before because i felt awkward in it. But Ling let me dook around w/ one of her good smelling massage bars, and its been like 5 hours and i can still smell it. Its also delichit. I am tempted to go to Lush now and buy a bunch of products.
Sigh. I wish i was rich, married, and living in new york