Thoughts on anime

I'm writing this post a night after just finishing watching Fullmetal Alchemist Conqueror of Shambala. In the beginning when my brother first started watching the FMA series I'll have to say that i wasn't that interested it it. For some reason i thought that it was really childish and couldn't quite get that into the series. So i never watched every single episode and would only sit through a few every so often when my brother would put them in during dinner. On Sunday my brother put in the last and final DVD. I managed to catch the very last 10 mintues of the series finale. And i'll say that I didn't really like it. I always like series to end w/ good endings. You know, everyone is back together the sun is shining down and everyone is just plain happy. This ending I thought was really sad. It was really sad seeing that Edward and Alphonse could never be together and complete at the same time. And the fact that Al lost his memories of the past 4 years was pretty sad too. And THEN, the fact that Ed was still alive in an alternate dimension and unable to use alchemy I thought that was really REALLY depressing. But I saw the commercial for the FMA movie and i thought that there would be more resolution in the movie and it would have a happier ending. I watched it yesterday and I thought it was even more depressing. Ed spent 2 years in that alternate world and everyday he tried to get back to his real world. Knowing that for 2 years he couldn't use alchemy was pretty sad too. And then, he was finally able to get back to his world, only to see everyone he cared for and all his friends, just to leave them in like.... 30mintues. After the movie was over and i went to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and i couldn't fall back to sleep cuz i was thinking of the outcome. I felt really really bad for Winry because she was probably waiting for him to come back (for 2 years) and she seen him for like.... 10 mintues. And then he left again w/o saying good bye. I mean i know if he could have said goodbye he probably would have, but it was still pretty heart wrenching. Some of the scenes I also thought were really moving. Like the scene where Al first found his brother again after attatching part of his soul to that suit of armor. And when his soul started to detatch itself and how Ed got really sad because it meant he was going to be alone again, I think i actually got a lump in my throat. Overall there were a lot of things that people did in the movie that I dont know if i'd have the strength to do, if it were me. Like Ed making the choice to go back alone to the alternate world. I thought all night about if that were me, how would i feel after i went back and realized all that I had given up. All my friends, and (at the time) my only family, and all my powers. And never being able to go back to my real home world. It's really really depressing. Especially considered the fact that Ed never got to say goodbye to anyone, that really tore me up. Hhaha no i didn't cry but i did get pretty sad. I was hoping that the movie would have wrapped things up a lot happier. And i guess even thought Ed isn't alone anymore, its still pretty sad. I always get pretty sad when an anime/ manga is finally completed because its like the characters immediately die after that, since we no longer get to follow them on a journey. Sigh so sad.
I thought it was pretty interesting to note that I can get so caught up on anime movies/series too. Because you always hear a lot of critics say stuff like, anime is for kids/ its not deep enough. But personally i feel i can get equally (if not more) emotional watching/reading a good anime when compared to watching a regular non-anime movie. I'd also like to say that i take back my original original belief in that FMA was too childish and uninteresting, having watched the movie and realizing how sad it made me. I'm a nerd but...thanks.

Feelin' Horrible

Today was a really really grumpy day for me. I absolutely did not want to go to work today. And I shouldn't have either. I'm scheduled to work Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings ( ~20hours/week). I complained to my boss several weeks ago that its to many shifts and that i need at least a full day off to read and do all my homework. I was expecting that he'd give me Sunday off. And that he did. In exchange I now work all-day on Saturday. So basically, nothing has changed, i still work ~20hours/week. And then, last week after the new schedule was put up, T (the hostess who i loathe w/ a passion because she is lazy and doesn't pick up her after her fucking self) asked me to switch shifts w/ her (a-fucking-gain). She told me that she was doing a fundraiser walk, and i was like, sure whatever. Assuming that the walk must have been mid-day or during her actual shift. So anyways. I went in to work today and went to look at the new schedule. And my boss finally hired a new hostess. BUT rather than taking ANY ONE of my shifts, my boss gave her TWO of T's shifts. I was so fucking pissed off because I had asked first, and i think that I honestly needed the break more. So that was right at 11AM when i started work. and at 11:10 T and who i assume to be her bf came in, and ate lunch having just finished their fundraiser walk. I was so pissed off. This has NOT been the first time where shes asked me to work for her because shes sick, or something comes up, and an hour later her and her whole family will come in and eat supper. I get so fucking pissed off when i see her. And then she fucking said. *OH did you see the new schedule? Henry hired a new hostess, now i have less shifts!!* I walked away right when she said that cuz honestly if i didn't i think i wouldve punched her in the face. I was pissed off for the rest of the day. And i didn't say anything to anyone (minus normal customer banter) for a good 5 hours. So moody. I almost cried, i almost walked off, i almost wanted to beat someone up. So fucking unfair. I'd like to think that i'm a good hostess. I'm fast, I've never missed a shift before, I help everybody, I do stuff that people ask me to do, and I do stuff that people dont ask me to do but appreciate it. Today I felt like i was just being taken advantage of because i'm such a push-over. Fuck, T ALWAYS calls in like 10 minutes before her shift and asks me to work for her, and usually i do because i need money, and then she'll come in and eat w/ her family all happy and frollic-y while i'm fucking tired and gumpy from working 11 hours straight w/ no warning. She always leaves her garbage around the hostess stand (and INSIDE the fucking drawers) and i have to clean it up. She never finishes the floor plan at the end of the shift and i finish it for her. Fuck, like last week when i came in at 5 to work (and she was working lunch) almost all the tables were still dirty and she was just sitting there. So I started cleaning up the tables because there were a lot of reservations coming in. She finally started helping after i picked up majority of them. And then I went to clean the table cloths, and one of the kitchen prep workers asked me to change the toilet AND hand paper. i was like *fuck how do both of them run out right when i start? They DONT, thats how* so i was like. "Ask T to change it, i'm busy." and the kitchen prep worker said, "T told me to tell you to change it." Fuck sakes. (I'm really angry now if you cannot tell by my swearing frenzy) What the hell was SHE doing that made her so busy. (she was cashing out btw). So i told my boss today when i seen him. "I'm not working all day on Saturday. You hired a new hostess, why dont you give her a shift." i forget what he said. but i thought 2 myself if he told me to work it i'd tell him right there that i quit. I was that pissed off. And then after work while i was tired and angry and sore, i cried and i walked home.

Citizen Kane

Hello movie fans, so the movie in review today will be Orson Welles' Citizen Kane. I never watched this movie before actually, but i heard lots about it saying it was a total classic, and movie to watch, so i was looking forward to seeing it today. Welp, heres my thoughts.

Today I watched Citizen Kane for the very first time. I've heard a lot about this movie so I was looking forward to watching it. Throughout the movie I had a hard time identifying a theme/ main idea. It wasn't until the mansion scene with Charles and Susan that a theme finally sunk in my head. It was almost all surrounding money and what it can (and cannot) buy. The mansion was large and extremely lavish, but at the same time void and bleak. The hugeness of the mansion was only noticable because Charles and Susan were the only ones in it. It was filled with expensive yet, cold and inanimate objects. Susan was also depicted building puzzle after puzzle. The diamond studdend hands building the puzzles seemed awkward doing such a mundane hobby, yet it was the only thing she could do. It's kind of cliche but it seemed that money could buy a lot of material things but it could not buy one of things Charles needed the most. Love. I was actually pretty sad during the scene when Susan left, because I thought that Charles was finally being genuinely truthful to her, but it was already too late. The shot of Kane walking past the mirror and his image being reflected many times also hinted at his loneliness. At first glance, there might appear to be many people with him, but on closer inspection, the only real person is Kane himself. I really liked Kane as a character after the cleaning company started clearing out his mansion. He kept anything and everything. So many items, like the 'Welcome Back' trophy his employees gave him, to the bedposts of his bed from the office of the Inquisitor meant nothing to the public, but everything to Kane.
After looking back on my notes, I thought this movie was set up pretty interestingly. The audience discovers at the very end that Rosebud was the name of Charles' sled, the same sled he was seen playing with when the audience was first introduced to him as a young child. At the same time, the snowglobe that triggers his memory of Rosebud, is one of the objects on Susan's cabinet in the background when the audience is first introduced to her. Both of them were such simple and probably cheap objects, yet both came from a past that was simple and free.
Another line from this film which I found quite interesting was when one of the reporters trying to uncover the meaning behind the word rosebud said, "It'll probably turn out to be a very simple thing...." I remember when I wrote this I was thinking of what rosebud could possibly mean, and was sure that it was going to weave out some complex story. After re-reading my notes a few hours ago I was honestly surprised at how the newsreporter was right, but at the same time, to him Rosebud as a sled would have been seen as a simple thing, but to Charles Kane himself, a distant memory of a simpler life, filled with the love of a parent.

dreaming of nightmares

So i should have been asleep like... 5 hours ago. but yeah, we all know when it comes to regimines i'm all talk and no....do.... Buuut anyways, while making my last rounds on this cpu o'mine i tried to think of some last thing to do that would postpone my need to turn of the computer and go to sleep. AND i thought of recapping the nightmare that i had last night. It shure was freaky y'all. I haven't had a nightmare in a long time and i actually woke up and my heart was pounding. hahah never the less i immediatly closed my eyes and *thought happy thoughts* before my imagination went into overdrive and shadows started taking on scary shapes. Hahah, but anyways so heres the dream that i had:
I was in school taking notes about Ancient Egypt and then our textbook had a picture of a mummifed Egyptian Princess. And it was an actual dried up corpse (not one of those completely wrapped up bodies) And i remember looking intensely at the long leathery boney fingers of the mummy and shuddering thinging how creepy those were. And then flash to a group of me and some friends talking to this new egyptian exchange student. And everyone was like *oh shes so pretty, shes so friendly, she's so nice, yadda yadda yadda* (me included) And then, flash to some hallway where everyone was walking down the hallway laughing and joking. When suddenly the girl stopped walking and started crying. Naturally everybody crowded around her and asked her what was wrong. She said through sobs *I'm so jealous of you guys. Your life is so fun and carefree.... (And then i noticed her skin started to slowly dry out)....your life is the complete opposite of mine....my family is very strict.... and i'm expected to live my life a certain way....* Then she looked up and said *i want your lives* And right at that moment her skin started turning into that mummy princess from class. I distinctly remember seeing those fingers dry up exactly like the picture in the textbook and it creeped me out so much. I think she started hobbling towards me and then i jolted away.....HOOO MAN it creeped me out really bad. hahaha.

Modes of Screen Reality

( That will be the title for this week's FS entry, since there was more than one movie.)

Compilation of Lumiere Films.
So, these little clipits of movies I found pretty interesting (and quite humorous) to watch. I made note of how all the scenes always contained some type of tremendous action/ noticable movement. This was especially noticable in one of the factory clips where, I'd guess the camera started filming too early and therefore there was almost no noticable motion whatsoever until the bunch of workers walked on screen. Another thing i noticed was how all the characters on screen seemed to be moving at a faster/ sped-up pace. The narrator said something about sporadic movement as possibly being the camera's fault and the actor's fault. I guess this would be true considering that the director was trying to capture 'everybody trying to do soemthing' in less than 50seconds. I thought it was pretty interesting to note that there was still the possibilty of people 'over-acting' even though they probably didn't know that existed at the time. So that probably tied in with the theme of reality for this first movie. The Lumiere Brothers were obviously filming clips of everyday life and therefore producing realistic clips. Certain clips even felt documentary like. Overall I thought these little 50second clips were pretty interesting to watch considering that they were produced very early in movie producing history and it was interesting to see early experimentations that have continued on to the present day.

Trip to the Moon
Of the 3 movies that we watched today, I probably disliked this one the most. Not saying that I hated it, but it just wasn't my favorite. It says that this film was produced in 1902 and I'm sure special effects technology was still pretty new at the time, but I felt that everything was perhaps a bit over done. This movie would probably be called sci-fi, and I agree with that. There's also a comedy factor in this movie, and I agree that it was funny at certain parts but still kind of cheezy. I was discussing w/ some friends after the screening was over about how it was probably aiming to show off some of the new fancy special effects at the time. (ie. the poof/disappearance of the aliens after they were hit) The movie made use of costumes and props (ie. magicians robe, telescopes, spaceships and aliens) that fit with the theme of the movie and also the backdrops used were also fitting and pretty complex, I thought. But for some reason I wasn't too fond of this movie. Perhaps because the acting might have been a bit cliche, and also maybe I felt special effects were used too much causing the movie to seem much more unrealistic than it was aiming for.

The Bicycle Thief
In terms of reality, this movie probably depicted it best. I was also actually quite surprised at the depth of the story line. Again while discussing this movie with friends after the screening, one of them mentioned the depiction of class and class distinction. I was surprised that I never caught that even though there was evidence of it throughout the movie. Mainly the difference between how the two different bicyle thiefs were treated. When Antonio's bike was stolen no one tried to help the lower class man catch his bike. But on the otherhand, when Antonio tried to steal the wealthier suit wearing man, practically the whole street started chasing after him, and eventually caught him. The depiction of class distinction was pretty good and once again I was quite surprised at the complexity of this movie. To Antonio that bike was everything to him and his family. They had to sell their bedsheets (part of Maria's dowry) to get enough money for that bike. And when Antonio was finally in his work uniform his family looked on at him so proudly because with that bike he would finally be able to start making good money. After the bike is stolen I felt the audience could really sense his despair and frustration. That bike literally was everything, to him, and he was desperate and willing to do anything to get it back. Juxtapose this with what happens when the wealthy man gets his bicyle back after Antonio tries to steal it. 3/4 of the movie was used to show Antonio searching for his bike, and 3 mintues was probably use to show the wealthy man and his search. Even though the man decided not to press charges against Antonio, it also goes to show that the bicycle probably didn't mean quite that much to him, as Antonio's bike meant to him. I was expecting a happy ending to this movie for some reason, and when the words FINE appeared I was pretty sad. All I could think about was what Antonio and Bruno were thinking as they walked home. Antonio would probably be pretty disgusted with himself knowing that he stooped to stealing all for a simple bike, the fact that his son witnessed him do it, and also that he'll have to live with this consequence for the rest of his life. It was also pretty ironic I though how one of the officers said to Antonio "...you can thank God, that he's not pressing charges." Because if God was really the one to have helped Antonio, you figure he would have done it a long time ago rather than making him go through this big ordeal and having the outcome turn out the way it did. (As a side note, I really did like the character/actor Bruno though. He was really adorable and I think he did an excellent job)

Ararat

(so, one of the assignments in my film studies class is to keep a Film Journal to record my thoughts and impressions about the movies that we watch. I'm thinking that I'd encorporate my entries there into this blog of mine, since i'll probably be writing them in the same way that i write my usual rants. Welp here goes.)
I'd like to say that I'm an extremely trusting person. In that i trust almost everybody and everything they say. While watching this movie I noticed that there were a lot of...not quite lies, but rather unknowns. The first thing i wrote down in my notes after watching the movie was: Who is telling (believing) a lie? Ani & Cecelia, Ali & Raffi, and Raffi & David (the interrogation officer). Since there appeared to be more than one pairing I figured this was probably an important theme. In all cases both people believed they were right therefore the other person must have been wrong. To be able to see two people fight for their beliefs so strongly was pretty interesting but at the same time, kind of sad because that meant that at least one persons belief was probably wrong. Having said this, I also thought the movie was pretty interesting. It offered some insight to the truths(and lies) that certain people are willing to fight for. And also that there are certain people who are willing to forget and deny what might be the truth. The scene that i found most interesting was the one where Raffi and Ali are talking in the car after the filming of the movie. The two of them have different beliefs about whether or not the Armenian Genocide really occurred. So not only is there a barrier between them in beliefs, there is also a physical barrier in terms of the car seats. Compared to the similar scene of David and Philip's conversation where the two are sitting side by side, here Raffi is sitting in the front of the car while Ali is sitting in the back. I thought for a really long time trying to figure out who was the one in the position of power. But I guess maybe its meant that both of them could be. Raffi is obviously in the front indicating power, but he is unable to see Ali without straining to see. Ali, on the otherhand is in the back, but at the same time he is able to see Raffi's back, another possible position of power. Probably some of my favorite scenes in Ararat are the ones between David and Raffi. Like David notions at near the end of the film, even though Raffi is lying, he comes much closer to telling the real truth because of it. Raffi's cam-corder is constantly playing throughout the whole interrogation and is always juxtaposed next to his face. Since Raffi went to the city of Ani by himself he was probably able to think without distractions and say everything that was on his mind/in his heart. So basically it was like having his thoughts on display. Overall I felt Ararat was pretty good. I was however a bit confused about what i thought of Ani, Raffi's mom. I'm not too sure if the audience was supposed to empathize with her or not. But i found myself more drawn to Cecilia, Raffi's step-sister/girlfriend. Anyways, aside from that bit, i did enjoy watching this movie, and if given the time would watch it a second time to get a better understanding of certain parts.

1:21 AM

is the current starting time of this post. Lets see how long it takes me to make a short entry. (i plan on this being a short entry so lets see if i can stick to my plans.) Anyways Iris came on msn these past few days so i've been talking 2 her a lot catching up on new and old stuff that we've missed. I told her the epic story of of my co worker and the awkwardness that is him. So.... i've been telling everyone how, when we were just friends i thought he was an okay pretty average guy. But after discovering his TRUE intentions, i have found myself paying close attention to the little things about him that annoy me. (once again this could have to do w/ my standards being to high...but we'll see) So, i think i've mentioned all of his young niave annoying traits that just make me want to punch him in the face. But today i found another one. So on sunday my boss put up the new schedule and i seen that he re-hired our old bus girl. (the same bus girl that he used to have a super crush on.) So i was like *oh this is great, maybe she'll take some of the pressure off me!* ....or so i thought. i was talking to him on msn today and i asked him if he knew who was bussing next week and he said yes he did. I then did my famous OHhohoho laugh, and he said. so, it doenst make a difference. and i was like (...uh oh) so i asked. *dont you like her anymore?* and he said. *No.* ....that was it. I was a little bit shocked, but at the same time i was expecting it. I told him it was pretty sad that he can suddenly stop liking a girl so quickly. Its like no faithfulness at all. I said to myself before he answered my question 'if he says no, them i'm absolutely positive that hes not my type.' low and behold he said no. I guess i'm kind of contradicting myself here with my 'standards' but really though. I dont really see how you can so easily brush someone off, especially considering that he was crazy about her when he first saw her. Like....i guess comparing my co worker and me, to Roni and Henry.... i'd have to give Henry props for continuing to chase R for like....2 years. Even though he knew that she didn't really like him, he still tried to change her mind. Like my co worker on the other hand is like...yes is yes, no is no.....maybe i should tell him no.... I dunno theres a word i'm trying 2 think of that he doesn't have. I guess like....its easy to give up on like...an exam or something physical like that. But... liking someone i think is different. I guess if i was a guy and i found out a girl i liked didnt like me i wouldn't just give up and call it quits. I'd see it as a challenge...as a hunt for the beautiful mayflower of love. (recognize that anyone? hahah) But so yeah. i've heard about a lot of couples hooking up after like...years of the guy chasing the girl and the girl suddenly realizing how devoted he is to her and decides to give him a chance. He told me that *its just a crush* and i thought that was bullshit. I've had crushes before and i never stopped liking someone just suddenly out of the blue because my chances seemed low. Pretty pathetic. So yeah, this is some words of advice from someone who probably shouldn't be offering advice.... But seriously, girls do pay attention to small stuff like that. It doesn't seem very man-ly to give up so easily on a girl that you were 'crazy about'. Because honestly if you really were crazy for her i think you'd be willing to try a lot harder to get her to like you back
....my friend, at the rate your going, your list of cons will soon turn into a dictionary of 'why i do not like you' ....sorry man.

Planning for Animethon 14....

So...while slacking off today i was looking up pictures of cosplayers from Animethon 13. And then i started thinking of people that i could be. And so yeah, i'm going to write out a small list of possibilities. Oh yaaah. i still have like unfinished Miwako costume in my closet...maybe i should consider that too.... And to think that i paid money for a wig and never used it....maybe halloween. But anyways. So far I've thought of being these characters.
-Dante from Devil May Cry 3. (might have to do something about that bare man chest he shows though....
-Hayate from Naruto. (even though hes dead i thought he was pretty cool)
-Temari from Naruto. (aside from Anna this is actually the first girl that i've wanted to cosplay as. Both of her costumes are pretty neat so we'll see)
-Dark from DNAngel. (because nobody can resist a swashbuckling thief)
-Michael from Angel Sanctuary (I like Michael...besides i'm the perfect height...which is short)
-Tifa from FF7 Advant Children (this one is really just because i like Tifa and the costumes ive seen so far didn't do her justice....)
-Livio from Trigun Maximum (i just added this on sept. 12 because after my 9th time reading vol. 9, i have come to the conclusion that Livio the Double Fang is awesome. His costume prolly isn't that hard either. Its actually really simple. Pretty much exactly the same as Wolfwoods plus white hair and better accessories. I just have to keep an eye out for a good skull mask during halloween)

Does anyone worry/wonder that i seem to like cosplaying as men most the time..... Maybe its just cuz girl costumes aren't as neat. Also could have to do w/ the fact that i think i can make myself look more handsome than i can pretty. haw haw haw. So yeah. As of right NOW i'm thinking Temari or Dark. Just because their costumes would probably be the easiest to make but if you add the right accessories it can look really really good. Dante and Hayate's costumes look kinda hard. I'd assume material for a long red Trenchcoat would be pretty expensive, not to mention i'd have to make good props. I'd mainly do Dante so that i could dye my hair white and do his face. Pretty much the same thought for Hayate. I wouldn't look forward to making the vest (so many pockets!!!) But i'd want to do his face. (so many cosplayers i've seen do such a good job on costumes but the make up/hair is really really bad.) Michael is probably just a thought because he is cool. I would have to cut my hair supah short and i dont know if i could draw the tattoo on myself. We'll see about Tifa, I'd have most problems w/ the shoes i'd think.
But yah, thats the main theme behind this entry. Hahah i'm a loser. I dont know what i want to be for halloween this year though...we'll see.

Oh Wolfwood.....

I Just finished reading volume 9 of Trigun Maximum. I'll have to say that so far it is my absolute favorite volume, even considering that vash isn't in it. But its really good. If i remember correctly i think wolfwoods outcome is the same in the manga as it is in the anime. And after reading 9, like 6 times in 3 days it will make me really really miss him, because he is such a strong and loyal guy, whos not willing to give up. (quite the opposite of my workmate if you noticed....) So anyways, this picture is dedicated to you super good looking Wolfwood. hohoh i drew it several months ago. I was too lazy to edit out all the sketchings and stuff. I never actually drew Wolfwood before so i didn't know how to draw his hair, so i had to do some practises.
Oh woe is me. I wonder what will happen to you in the end.......

i'm back and a thousand dollars richer.

Hello everyone, this is a picture of my cousin alex and what i did to him the first day i went back to fort mcmurray. It makes me laugh evertime i see it. Alex is my favorite little cousin. Hoh hoh.
Soo... i forget if i've said anything these past few blogs, but i've discovered recently that i have an admirerer. I always thought i'd be extremely happy to have one, but as i have discovered.... sometimes its not that great. Sooo. i just found out a few days before i went back to fort mac that some one likes me (which is extremely rare) and i was like *ooh i dont know what to do because i'm not sure what i think about him* and then i was like. *well i guess i can go back to fort mac and sort out my feelings* and that is exactly what i did. I discovered that i do not feel the same way about him. i tried to make a list of pro's and con's and there were a LOT of cons.... i feel kinda bad but its true. like as a friend i like him, but thats all really. From what i know of him hes not really 'my type'. And then it started to annoy me that he would text msg me everyday w/ the most mundane information. It got really annoying. and the fact that i avoided going on msn truly makes me believe that i dont really like him that way. He got me something from calgary and i didn't know what to expect or do when i received it. (it was a panda plushy). And then today i seen a picture of 2 of those panda plushies hugging each other on the BG of his cell. eeeyaaaa. I think that one of the main reasons that i wont think of him as more than just a friend is the fact that hes not very mature. I think i'm more mature than he is and i'm very immature. Plus.... I dunno its also the little details i pick up at work. Like how he'll tell someone the mean things that people say about them for no reason whatsoever and that starts building grudges. and he also asks for certain people to get fired and stuff. Just small stuff like that that i pick up on. And also when me and him and 2 of my workmates young kids were playing GC he seemed to take it really really seriously. like serious button jamming win win situations because you know how important it is to beat two 12 year old kids right?. ERG i dunno its all this is just making me really frustrated right now. If i could ask for one thing for my boyfriend to have it would be to be able to stand by myside and back me up if i ever needed his help, and i just dont see him doing that. ARG.
But really, change in direction here because thats really angering me. So...school starts in 2 days....*sob sob* i hate school. i'm gong to be taking 5 classes this year.... this actually going to be the 1st time i've had 5 courses in one semester since 1st year when i dropped psych. hoy we'll see how that goes. i'm also going to experiment w/ the not buying of a bus pass for september to see if i can time manage better. But yeah so thats all the plans that i have for now. Oh. i just finished reading TRIGUN vol. 9 I actually really like that one. Even though vash wasn't in it, it was pretty good. I read it at least twice so far. Yum yum. Welp, thats all for now folks.

would you like some buttermelon

translated to english that would be equivalent to 'would you like some avocado'. hohoho. But anyways. small post today. Just wanna comment on fort mcmurrays male population. Theres not that many good looking young guys around my age here is there? BUT however, when one does appear, they sure are cute. Tee hee. I seen a guy come in yesterday who looked like jacob hoggarth from hedley. He was cute. and i caught him secretly looking at me. MWA MWA. hahaha.
Today i went and got my very first filling. I was super nervous and it took like....10 mintues. They put this giant purple rubber tarp-like mask over my mouth and i sat w/ it on for a good 5 mintues waiting for the doctor to come in. Then after my mouth was numb till 8PM. I think i was drooling for a good 10 mintues before i realized. hahaha. Numb mouth is funny. Welp i'm supah tired so i'm gonna go sleep now. chow.
PS. i have made it my next mission to forget about 'you know who'. ADD OIL!!!!

Um, hey everybody....

So yeah....if anyone read the post from yesterday i was debating whether or not my workmate liked me or not. I said that i *thought* maybe he did, but that i also could have been wrong because hes just an overall nice friendly guy. Well, its funny how somethings reveal themselves really quickly. I left back for fort mac today, and he knew that i was leaving today. At 9AM while i was still sleeping i recieved a text msg from him (undoubtedly on his way to work) that read as follows:
"Well see you in like 10 days. Unless you come to eat, then i'll see you in a few hours. I'm gonna miss you."
Dwear Mne....uuuuuung That last sentence i think pretty much answered my question of uncertainty. ung ung. So now i dont know what to do. Because like i said before i dont know...er rather i know i dont feel the same way about him. At least of my own free will. Like i'll find myself thinking of him sometimes, but its more thinking *if i like him that way*. And personally, if you have to think about that, i think you should know the answer. But like.... uuuuug i dunno either if like....maybe i set my standards to high or something. Like. i dunno when i notice a good looking guy i usually say like *oh he has nice eyes, or his arms are nice, or his smile is cute* and thats like....physical stuff. But i find sometimes i start liking someone i've known for a long time after i've gotten to know their personality. Uggggh. I'm really confused right now. I was going to use this entry to try and clarify some of my feelings right now. But i'm talking to Jess about Craig (something i've never done before) and its bringing back some painful memories again.... i'll try this again some other time.

in a fairy tale world

Is it weird that this past month i've been having a more than usual amount of dreams and daydreams of craig? More so daydreams, but a few dreams here and there. But more so daydreams and thoughts. Like i keep on imagining what would happen if he came in to kyoto one day. (this is all assuming that i'd recognize him, even though i've only seen like....old old old pictures of him) But i keep on thinking about....about what i'd do if i ever bumped into him. And like i'd hope he'd recognize me but i'm not sure. So like. today i was thinking if he really came in to eat, if i'd have enough guts to walk up to him and talk to him. And if i did what the hell would i say to him. *hi are you craig? i'm corinna you've ruined 2 years of my life?* No i'd probably not. i'd proably try to ease in and find out if it really was him. *did you used to live in fort mcmurray?* But at the same time if he said *yes i did* i dont know what i'd do after. I dont know if i'd be too overwhelmed to say anything or if i'd start like getting all teary eyed. (i'm sure the latter is not possible). And then, theres also the possibility that i might be too scared/nervous to walk up and talk to him. And if that were the case and he left w/o me saying a single word of recognition to him....i think i might really cry. That after like....2 years of waiting to meet you and i finally do, but before i get the chance to talk to you i let you walk out....that would be really crushing. So yeah, its kind of like a lose lose situation. But i guess i should also consider that he doens't live in edmonton anymore...or alberta....or possibly canada....
But, speaking along the line of guys. Another little dilema i've got going on. (always happens around the end of summer) So.... i have a workmate at work, who i'm not sure if he likes me or something. Like i'm usually pretty good at that kind of stuf....or actually no i'm not. But i can't tell. So.... my workmate he keeps asked me to go to calgary to watch the fireworks competition w/ him. and like, no biggie there cuz he asked all the workmates. But, i dunno if this makes a difference or not but, i told him that i wasn't going to go cuz i didn't have the money 2 do that. And he said *i'll pay for you*. I feel pretty stupid because maybe i'm just thinking one sided here and that, thats what any normal friend would do, and that i'm thinking way to hard. But, he also constantly asks me to go out and have ice cream, and watch movies and go clubbing. and same w/ the *i'll pay for you* bit..... so yeah i'm not sure. Just thought i'd voice that little tid bit.

Paper Dress Princess

Konnichiwa! Hohoho, since i have recently discovered that i can now easily post pictures in my entries, i will try to post pictures of random stuff i take more often. (That will also entice me to take pictures of more stuff)
So.... the picture on the left is of my current project in the drawing class i'm taking. The assignment was to make a garment/accessory/ wearable object out of unconventional materials. The first thing i thought of was *project runway* because i had just recently finished watching the 2nd season. hohoh. So obviously i chose a dress (actually i was thinking of purse or shoe, too) but i chose a dress, and the material was paper. If i had time and money i would have made a pretty hat or purse out of rose petals, or a pair of fancy shoes out of wax. The latter would have been my next choice i believe. But yeah so the dress turned out like that. I guess i'm pretty proud of it. It should be wearable, just that i need a supah skinny model since i cinched the dressform to practically the smallest size it would go, and then i tapered the waist of the dress even smaller. E-hehehe. So yeah i guess it turned out okay, i'm unsure right now whether or not its completely finished. I wanted 2 change the color of the obi to something different cuz my instructor said it was kind of too eye catching. If i have time i'll do that.
Oh, so Kat's b-day is coming up. I got the invite again. I like going because i get to see some old friends from high school. It's like a mini reunion each year. Hohoho. I still have to get a present though. Dwear mne, i still am on the short stack of moo-lah. *sob sob* why oh why budgetting WHY!!!! Sooo yeah. I might go to WEM 2morrow. But its almost midnight so i should be going to bread. My eye hurts like a bee-yatch. Why? Because our showerhead sucks and the little rubber ring attatchment thingy keeps on slipping off so this high powered jet stream shoots out if you move it the wrong way. I was trying 2 fix it in the shower and when i moved the band it angled the water to shoot straight into my open eye. Hurt like a punch in the teeth.

Oh the nightmares....

This is Stewie. He currently resides face first in the corner of my brothers room because he scares me at night. I won him at klondike...sorry no Capital Ex. I was so happy when i won Brian the first day. I figured i absolutely had to go and get him a stewie companion....little did i know i'd get the equivalent of chucky in plush.
Aside from spending all my money at K-Days i'm saddened 2 say that nothing else has really happened. Thats important and that i can think of. Oh well... i bought a new pair of shoes! heheee my shoe fetish comes from my mom i swear. I've been wearing shoes w/ absolutley no support for the past few months and i think doing that has made my pinky toes numb.... so yah i dished out $95 bucks to buy these cute pair of white etnies mules. And after i did that i realized that i had no more money. Dammit. I totally forgot about rent and then now Kat's bday is coming up too so i have 2 get soemthing. and then... i have mangas that i want to buy (same ones from like 6 weeks ago btw). and possibly some new clothes so it doesn't look like i'm wearing the same thing 4 days in a row. Hoya... anyways i'm going to go outside and have some cereal. I've had like 6 bowls of it alreayd. hee hee haw haw.

Kakashi Sensei!!

This is Kakashi. He is currently residing in my bed..... *tee hee*

Alas cruel world.....

Sooo, my internet at home went down again. Maybe i should just start paying for it....hahah jkjk. Right now i'm just too lazy 2 walk home and i wanted 2 slack off a bit. I worked on friday, saturday and sunday. And i'll say that the friday and saturday were the exact opposite of each other.
Friday was a pretty good day, it was steady, not crazy hectic friday-busy. So that was good. And since i worked dinner rather than lunch i actually had time 2 get ready for work and look nice. Hahaha my workmates all asked me if i was going out on a date after work. (hey it was just some lipgloss) But apparently lipgloss makes a big difference because i made $30 tip on take out (i usually make 15-20$) And then i went 2 save on's where i bumped into iris. (actually i was on the otherside of jasper when i called her and right before my phone cut out she said *i'm at save on's*) so yeah i 'bumped' into her. Her and Ling came over for a small 'dinner' and after they left i started making corinna's special desserts for May's house warming party on sunday.
Saturday was an extremely crappy day. Wearing lipgloss really does make a difference cuz i never wore any that day. The first take out i took was horrible. The lady was a real snob, and i had 2 re-order certain stuff cuz 'you guys always screw up my order'. And then i undercharged her 10$. (this is the first time that has every happened 2 me before) i called her back and she made a big BIG deal about it saying stuff that i'm too lazy 2 type out. And eventually after like 10 mintues her husband told me that he'd come in to pay it back another day. And i was like sure okay, whatever. I beleive i will never see that 10$ i had 2 pay again. Then some lady made me make 8 cups of miso soup during the busiest time of the day. And then someone payed their 10.13 bill with 10$ and 1 galaxy cinema token. And i know she did it on purpose cuz she lifted up the bill and put the coin under it. AND THEN at like 8PM this lady walked up 2 me and in this cocky voice was lke *your ladies washroom is flooding really bad, i think 'you' should go fix it right away.* why yes right away i'll just pull the magical plunger that i keep in my pocket out and do it right away. Geez. So i went into the washroom and opened the door and stepped in a puddle. As iris said it looked like someone had lodged their shoe inside the toilet bowl. The water was overflowing like a mofo fountain. Also, since the water wasn't draining throught the drain in the floor it started....somehow seeping throught the wall and i guess since it had been flooding for like 10 mintues it soaked up a nice thick puddle in the dinning room. So sad.
Sunday wasn't so bad I just worked afternoon and then went 2 May's new place where i pretty much played mario party 4 for like....6 hours. hahah. Waluigi still rocks. Pretty funny cuz after like 3 hours of gaming, right as the game was announcing the winner the baby crawled over 2 the gamecube and pushed the power button. thats one dexterious baby. Weeelll. i think thats all i wanted 2 say.
....and to think i could have been home by now had i not come here 2 write this blog.

A-HOY

Hi Everybody!! Super excited cuz my internet is working. ohohoho. Anyhoo heres pictures of me from this years anime convention. In case anyone forgot.... (or doesn't recognize) i'm kakashi when he was an ANBU....

Minus the fact that i forgot about his shoes and therefore had to make them 20 mintues before leaving i was pretty happy w/ my costume. I got a lot of comments and my props turned out quite nicely. I made the mask and kunai knife pretty much from scratch (weeell, i used a basic halloween mask as a base) I was a little bit sad because on saturday i wore my contacts in the wrong eyes and put the scar on the wrong eye too... damn you mirrors. hahaha. But aside from those 2 problems everything else was good. yum yum. It actually doesn't look as good as i remembered it.... But yeah. I forgot to take pictures of tara's costumes. Possibly had to do w/ the fact that i didn't take any pictures at the animethon at ALL.... come on people wheres your creative juices? I actually want to say that i didn't buy that much stuff. First day i spent under $100. Basically all the stuff that i wanted 2 buy wasn't there. So on the 2nd day, after feeling really left out from not buying stuff i went around and bought random stuff that i semi-wanted. ie. many kakashi items. hahah i bought a big plushie and the little one that i was gunning down on ebay, like 4 keychains, and then some artbooks. So all in all it wasn't really that much. No 10 bags like a few years ago. hahah. anyhoo i should prolly go to sleep now... which i wont.

o-HI-yo

yo dawgs. hoho i'm here at the U mooching free internet access. isnt it great? Main reason for this entry is to comment on animethon...13 i believe. It wasn't really that great i thought. not that many super great costumes....actually there weren't that many costumes period. Gosh everybody wheres you anime spirit? The only one that really stuck out as good was that one guy dressed up as Jirara.... and i'm sure i've spelt that wrong. And of course my costume. Hohoho. seriously i got a lot of comments on it i'm so proud. hee hee. especially since, i made everything, with the exception of the pants.... But yah, i was really worried it wasn't going to look good since i didn't actually put everything on w/ makeup/hair until the actual day.. But yah super happy. hahaha. Um... not that much stuff in the dealers room although there seemed to be a lot more dealers. The only reason i spent over $100 is mainly cuz i bought plushies which i wouldn't actaully bought cept that i was feeling a bit sad cuz i didn't buy that much. hahah. aside from a few manga i bought the naruto art book, and the angel sanctuary art book wich i was quite shocked at how inexpensive it was. hohoh deals deals deals. Yuppers. i was also a little upset because i didn't enter the cosplay contest. The worker man at comic king told me my costume was the best one he'd seen all weekend. i was berry berry proud. (PS my friend 'tyreese' won the cosplay contest and i guess i didn't think her costume was that great so i was a bit sad) but ah well what can you do. I might be famous on the internet if you look up ANBU Kakashi from animethon 13. hohohoho. Anyhoo gonna go now. later everyboby.

oh joy

i have access to internet again! man its been an extremely long time. going to be extremely quick. Just some basic recap seeing how as nothing itneresting has happened really. Finished spring classes and have been on break. My parents came in last week. I was actually pretty excited to see them. Hohum. Animethon is in 2 days. Kinda excited. But doesn't think she will go. oh poo-pee. Ling will go and so will Tara, parchance i can dupe jessicaw to come. oh hohoho. Um um. what else. Oh right i think i mentioned a long time ago that i' going to be kakashi from naruto. I dunno how it looks right now cuz i dont have the hair and stuff....but i hope i look okay. Otherwise i will also not go. hahah. I'm so proud of the knife prop that i made. hohoho. Anyhoo, thats all for now. I am broke and trying 2 save moolah so i will go now. Byee bye...