What my heart wants to say

Hi Curtis,

I'm not always Captain Obvious but I just want to get this off my chest while I am still feeling fantasticle today.

You don't want to play anymore do you.

I wouldn't be so bummed if you had just said something on Thursday. Or Friday. Or Saturday. Anything really except that shitty game of 'ignore you till you go away'. I hate guys who do that. Its so cowardly. I'm Sorry if I'm weird and awkward, or shy and boring, or just give shitty blowjobs. But that's how I am when I'm nervous. I'm sure I told you that. And I wish you could have just said something. 'Sorry I'm just not feeling it' Something, so that I would have something to work with and not have to play that stupid fucking ridiculous game of What did I do Wrong. The worst part is I was really really hoping you were actually going to take the time to get to know me like you said you would. And I wished you were somewhat serious about anything you said you said to me.
I hate liars.
You were so intriguing to me because you were such a puzzle. Your stories didn't make sense, you were blunt and happy and everything you said I would never have expected and I just wanted to find out more things about you.
I suppose in the end you just proved my point. Gorgeous men are never up to any good. They know they can get away with things a normal guy couldn't. You were so fucking pretty, you and your goddamn icy blue eyes. I do suppose you were right about one thing though. When I told you if you made me cry I would slap you in the balls (which actually now that I think about it I did!) and you replied something like 'Expectations are what ruin things'. I believe and understand and think that is so true. I would like to train myself to know that. But at the same time, that doesn't give you the right to be a jerk. My heart will hurt for a little bit because of things I thought I was going to get to do, and the excitement of possibly being the object of someone's affection again. But it's just not meant to be. I probably knew it before you did.

So. This is it. Thanks for the best 30 days I've had all year and thanks for making me forget about Dave, and thanks for the cookie. I'll leave you alone after today.
Good luck finding your Peach, and Goodbye Mr. Walker.