Feel really bummed out today.
So bummed out I didn't go to work. First time I have ever called in sick. I kept waking up last night with a racing heart and sweating balls. Woke up every hour until my alarm rang and I seriously felt like shit.
Anyways I just laid in bed and slept for about 12 hours. Held onto Birthday Bear and made a bunch of wishes. When you are out of it you make some silly wishes.
I wish Curtis would give me a 2nd chance and just get to know me
and then 2 hours I said
I take that back.
It's time to play the game again of bash the guy till I don't miss him anymore :(
He was 2 fucking hours late on our first date !!!
He was kinda cocky.
Stood you up after you ran around the city trying to get home in time to see him.
You guys weren't even dating and you were always suspicious that he was seeing other girls
You guys didn't have anything in common except being nerds.
You didn't watch the same tv shows.
You didn't listen to the same music
You both had 2 completely different lives.
You were trying to be someone you weren't.
Sometimes his storylines didn't match up.
You couldn't tell if he was lying or not.
He said things he didn't mean.
Wanted to have sex the 2nd time we met.
Ugh... its not really working. I liked talking to him, just not in person. I forced myself to think of positive happy responses when he was being negative, because I realized how negative I had become. And that made me glad. I said smart things around him and that made me glad. Uggggggh. I'm just playing that game of 'if only I had' now. If only I had been a bit easier..... :( Yeah. Haha no. The same thing woulda probably happened.
It just wasn't meant to be Miss Chow. Keep telling yourself that and you will be okay.
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