Except when I lift up my face I look like a raccoon.
My heart is so sad right now, sports fans. I did it again and fell for a jerk. Listened to my heart instead of my head. I shouldn't even complain because I'm the one that keeps doing this to myself.
So sad again. But, the story goes like this. Right before I went to SFO I started talking to these 2 guys on POF. No. They weren't best friends this time (ha-ha). They were quite the opposite. One was a quiet nerd, and the other was a tall blonde and blue eyed, pretty boy. Yeah, haha guess which one I liked more. We started chatting and messaging each other when I came back from SFO. He was really happy and friendly and always smiled. Actually he always put one of these ":)" at the end of all his messages. Such an odd and interesting person he was I thought. And cute. First time ever a cute boy started talking to me and told me I was interesting. I felt happy. Obviously. I was someones attention again. He messaged me randomly if I didn't reply back, he told me I was rad. So silly. I was enthralled. But at the same time I almost felt it was too good to be true. I don't know why or how. But I just felt slightly uncomfortable. I thought it was just because I was still nervous to date after my last break-up. I was protecting my heart...... but he still replied back to everything I said asked me to hang out and go antique shopping and stuff.... I'm so confused. Everything I thought was going alright. First time we met up we walked around Enjoy Centre and went for Coffee. He left, gave me a hug and texted me back when he got home and said I was adorable. It made me melt. We kept chatting and I thought it was going swell. The only thing is, in the back of my mind I kept reminding myself. Pretty Boys are never up to any good. And he was very pretty..... So. I'll be honest I was uncomfortable when whenever we were together in person. He was so fucking pretty I couldn't look him in the eyes. When he came over to hang out at my place I couldn't look him in the eyes. When we started making out I couldn't look him in the eyes (plus I thought it was rude). I just can't tell right now if he stopped talking to me because I was being cold and un-interested or if he was just seeing more than one person and I got the short straw.
It just hurt a lot because I probably saw it coming but didn't. He was right when he said he was good at convincing people to do things.
Long story short. We made out, fooled around, he kissed me on my forehead and said good night, we talked the next day, and I haven't heard from him since.
I haven't heard from him since, when he used to message me every day.
Heart hurts so bad right now. I keep doing the thing where I play the entire scenario in my head and try and pinpoint what I did wrong. Again. What. I. Did. Wrong. It's not even registering that he was just a player, and that he's a jerk. I just keep thinking what I could have done differently to keep him interested.
So sad isn't it.
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