A very very fine line that only usually the person you are speaking to can see.
So. I was up at my desk today and my GM took a trip up to see me. He told me he was pretty shocked that I haven't received a raise since my assessment in February, or that I haven't asked for one and just let me know how valuable I was to the company and was going to look into it that I got a wage increase.
Oh WOW! I felt super happy from hearing that. My office manager had actually told me to ask a while ago but I didn't now how to bring it up, and then it suddenly started turning into a shit show at work. So I didn't. But the fact that upper management noticed and mentioned it to me made me feel happy. I know I get taken advantage of because I'm naïve and dumb when it comes to wages and stuff or just too shy to ask, and Yeaaaaah I could be getting more, and if I were in a bigger company this never would've happened..... buuuuuut I still felt pretty happy. A raise ! Someone recognizing my hard work !
So, I sent a text to my cousin. Spread the good news !
And then she said to me 'Why didn't you ask earlier.' And 'You should ask for retro pay'.
And.... I just felt like shit after. Way to burst my bubble. I only really wanted a pat on the back, you know, not 'You should've tried harder'.
It always seems my version of Good is never Good Enough. No wonder I have low self esteem.
(But on a side/more happier note:
Fuck you OfficeTeam for telling me I was under qualified to be a Receptionist. You don't know until you try)
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