Dear Chrisssssss

I'm writing this to tell you how much of a looooooser you are.

No, actually I'm not. Only people I know have the tendancy to know where that line is from. Ai-yah, writing so much in here lately. Still missing poo-head, but not to the point that its painful. Day-tight Compartments, ey?
So, I went to the studio yesterday to prep for the surprise Block Party on Friday. Gabby was there, and she asked how Dave and I were doing. And, I know if I could record myself speaking and play it back a week later I would feel so silly! Just because I know my heart still misses him and the way I'm saying things like I still don't want to mess anything up :S One good thing though, Gabby and Halabi all agree that I'm missing "closure". And that it's semi normal to have gone through all that doubting and second guessing, and wondering what i did wrong. *SIGH*
And the 2nd thing that came up that I realized. Gabby asked me what I thought of Daisy. And I didn't know how to answer her. I said I guess she intimidated me. And Gabby said, 'Hell yeah, anybody would be'. You're boyfriends best friend is a girl! And I think maybe I never did believe Dave when he said he and Daisy never wanted to date. Father was right, comparing yourself to someone is a lose-lose situation. Maybe I compared myself to Daisy and felt insecure because I wasn't anything like her, and yet Dave got along so well with her and valued her opinion. A LOT. They had the same hobbies, the same interests, and she was so much more confident. It would almost be like that time Dave got upset at me because he thought I valued Brendan's advice more than his. The only difference was I only saw Brendan maybe once every few months. Dave saw Daisy every week and he went out of his way to see her for lunch. Ah, I was so jealous that they had so much in common :( I got along easily with Dave's male friends, but Daisy I was always so nervous around. And it made it that much worse when she ignored my message to her, because it just hammered in the thought that she never truly accepted me as a friend, and just as a chapter in Dave's life....SO DEEP.

Anyhow, I figure I'm still analyzing every tiny detail because deep deep down, I still miss the poo-head. Did I miss Michael this much when we broke up? I can't remember :( I know it hasn't even been 2 months, and I'm not crazy obsessing anymore, but I still miss having someone to hang out with and relax around, and do life things with. :(

Do you hear that you poo face? I Miss You !!