Empty-ish

 I feel kinda blank again you guys.

I dunno.  I just feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly.  With no goals or reasons to reach.  Jess told me I should set some new goals, and.... I should then my brain wouldn't think so much.

I just.... dunno... I wanna be in love and I wanna be loved.  I wanna have a boyfriend its been so long.  I really want someone to snuggle with and laugh and hug and go on dates with.  And I'm mad at Curtis for giving that to me and taking it away.

I wanna tell him and I don't want to tell him that he's mean and selfish.  That he really needs to grow up and take responsibility for this choices.  That he keeps on running away and ignoring things and his ego is bigger than his head.

I wanna tell him I like him and please don't leave me.

It's just not fair.  I want to find this puzzle piece of my life so bad.  

The saying is maybe the thing you are looking for that will bring you happiness is inside you, and I never believe it because when I'm with someone its the happiest I feel and I don't believe I can do that by myself.  I'm my own person that is capable of taking care of myself but I always feel like something.... someone is missing.  Everyone says its wrong to think you need someone to complete you, but I do.  I want someone in my life to be happy with.

I always feel like something is missing, that's why.  That I'm not complete.

Can Curtis come back please.  I would just be so happy if he reached out to me and made me feel valuable again.