I Caught Wigglytuff

So pink and pleasing.

Unlike my mind.

The more I think, the more I am going crazy.

On Monday B called me up to play Pokémon and we spent about 6 hours together.

On Tuesday he emailed me asking about tips for Japan.

On Wednesday he emailed me asking more specifically why I left FB. I replied and then he told me about the great date he went on and I didn't respond.

Hearing that really made me sad. I cried a little. I'm silly I know.

On Thursday I was at the studio kinda hoping he would text or call me, but literally I've talked to him every day starting Sunday, and thought there had to be a break somewhere. And so I heard nothing. I finished my project and was walking home/Pokémon hunting around 730pm when I get a text from him asking if I want to catch Pokémon. Of course I'm happy to see him and I let him know I'm already out playing. Totally forgetting that I'm trying to keep my distance because it seems to help with the crush. He eventually asks if I want to ride my bike, to which I reply 'Not really because I'm wearing a dress'. I don't get a reply back so I double text 'I can't tell what you wanna do but I'm gonna go soon' to which he replies 'I wanna pick you up and walk around the U'.

And that is what we did.

Well kinda. He didn't eat so we went to It' Dog first and then I mentioned Hawrelak to which he had forgot about and thought it was a great idea. So, we went to Hawrelak and drove around in circles for half an hour catching Electabuzzes.

And also smoke up.

Hawrelak is super dark at night time so while he was getting the stuff ready in his car he asked me to hold onto the vape. Then he held onto my hand to steady the vape so he could put everything inside. I say 'Uh.... why don't you just hold the vape and not my hand....' He pauses....stops what he's doing and says '.....I don't know.....' And I start laughing really hard. He tells me to shut up and I laugh some more. I dunno why I thought it was so funny. We catch 2 Electabuzzes and I am pretty high. To the point where I almost tell him I like him.

But I don't.

Then the park closes, and without suggestion he drives to the U to walk around some more. Somewhere along the way he asks how my day was and I tell him I had 4 chocolate bars and a bag of chips for breakfast (I was trying to cheer up from hearing his dating situation). He laughs and says 'and you can't even see it'. He mentions two different girls while we are out. A story about a pretty girl he added on FB 5 years ago, who just accepted his request yesterday, and that Jesse is trying to pick up the new girl he is seeing. It doesn't hurt much this time and I'm glad. Maybe it's going away? I dunno. We are walking around campus and it's probably because I am super high but I keep thinking something is going to happen. He see's a gym and says, "lets go behind those trees so I can beat this gym." I say "....Or you can just stand right here in the light and beat it?"

This morning when I woke up, I thought, everything that happened yesterday could have been a move he was trying to make, or equally just a completely innocent Friend-zone notion.


I can't tell. I am totally leaning towards friend-zone and am pretty sure I am just over thinking. But I have such wishful thinking....

Around midnight we get back to his car and he drops me off at home. He gives me his usual fistbump and I awkwardly get out of his car. I walk up the stairs to the door and buzz myself in. I turn around and see his car is still there..... and I wave Bye.....

Whether or not he was waiting for me to go in or catching Zubat, I do not know...

I don't know what to do. Every thing in my brain is telling me to not tell him I like him.