Some things have happened since my last story telling.
Not in my favor of course.
The usual Pokémon catching at 2 am.
B calling me a GREAT FRIEND.
B telling me I probably shouldn't say we met each other on a dating site.
B throwing me off my Happy Bus.
You know. The usual.
Last Friday I emailed him and asked if he wanted to go for dinner after work. He replied sure and we ended up hanging out for the rest of the night (along with a group of friends after dinner). He grabbed dessert for us and also a couple drinks. After everyone called it a night around 2am we just walked around the Leg catching Pokémon and then he dropped me back off at home. Didn't wait for me to get into the foyer this time.
On Saturday I went to the Farmer's Market to pick up some cookies that B had a gift certificate for. He had a race to attend and I just assumed he was going to call me after to pick up the goods. But I didn't hear anything. So that was Saturday. I ate a cookie.
Sunday morning, I text him to see if he wants to pick up his cookies before I leave the condo because I won't be around for most of the day. He is surprised that I picked up the cookies. I don't understand why because he asked me to. He replies back by saying 'You are a great friend!' I cry a little on the inside - haha :( He asks if he can pick them up now and I tell him I'm leaving in half an hour. No Reply. I don't know what that means. Are you coming now? What's going on? Anyways, 20 minutes pass and I still hear nothing so I call and ask what's happening. He says he still has to shower and won't be able to make it in time and he'll just pick them up in the evening or something. Which of course he doesn't.
Monday finally rolls around. When I finally get home after work I text him again. Do you just want me to drop the cookies off? He texts back and says he is on the way. And he arrives in about 5-10 minutes. I was baking some Banana Muffins and packed 4 for him. I go down to drop off the goods and really am trying not to talk to long and try and leave right away. He sees I'm in my pjs and says 'Oh I could have gone up to get them'. So I stop and turn back around to chat for a couple minutes. Eventually I go back upstairs to finish making dinner when I get a text from him:
You are ridiculously bad for my health
I kinda smile and tell him the muffins are somewhat healthy. He proceeds to tell me he gave 2 of them away to someone he knew at the gas station. That kinda dampens my spirit because I didn't make muffins for strangers and I ask if he gave them all away. B doesn't reply and that's the end of that night.
We don't really talk until Thursday evening. I'm having dinner with my family a couple blocks from his place and I call him up to see if he want's to sign N's bday card. He doesn't answer. But its not a big deal, he always calls me back. So of course I am a little surprised when I wake up the next day and see I have no missed calls or new texts. Somewhat bizarre for him. Anyways, I go to work and it ends up being kind of a hectic day and it starts to bug me that he didn't call me back. And I start getting anxious.
Did he get into a car accident? He does have road rage....
Did something happen to his mom? He did mention something before....
What the heck happened?!!
Around 10am I email him asking if he is okay because he has never not called me back before.
By noon I have heard nothing. I end up texting Tiny and ask if something happened to B.
I even go so far as logging onto his My Fitness Pal to check if he's logged in recently.
And he hasn't.
It genuinely freaked me out.
Finally at 2pm he emails me back and says I am okay! and he was just hanging out with his family. I don't reply back because he answered all my questions.
On Saturday B textes me early in the morning to tell me he was having lunch with T. I tell him that may be my doing because I genuinely thought he was in trouble and asked T. I also send him a funny cartoon about a superhero called Anxiety Girl. He laughs. T also texts me around noonish to say he is having lunch with B. I'm out with my family and doing my own thing.
Around 2 pm B texts me and asks if I want to have lunch. I text him back saying 'Too Late' because I'm having lunch already with my family. What didn't occur to me at the time was....
....didn't he just have lunch with T? A second lunch?..... huh?
Anyways, I didn't think of that till later and just asked what he was doing that evening because I wanted to take my cousins out. He replies he is going to a houseparty and says I could come too. I tell him I'm with my cousins and will probably just go to Common. He texts me a photo of the clothes he tried on in the change room at Winners. I tell him I really like his shoes. And that is that.
Until about 2 am he calls me just as I get back into the condo from Pokémon hunting with my cousins. He asks what's going on at the Common and what I am doing. I let him know I just got back home and he asks if we want to go karaoke. I kind of do and so do A&G. But then it occurs to him that karaoke is closing pretty soon and decides he should just go home. Then he asks me what I am doing tomorrow. I tell him tomorrow is Sunday and to take a guess. He remembers that every Sunday I have dimsum with family and that is that. I still try and tempt him over with cake and ice cream sandwiches and it actually works until he texts me back saying he is too tired and is just going home. We have a little conversation and I tell him G was excited to meet him because I tell her a lot of stories. He asks me if I want to see a movie on Sunday night. I text him a photo of G eating his ice cream sandwich and then a photo of a Cineplex giftcard saying 'What a coincidence!' He doesn't reply and I assume he goes to sleep.
Naturally I'm kind of excited to see him when Sunday rolls around. That was 3 attempts he made to try and see me :) Is it going to be a happy ending?!
Of course not
He doesn't contact me at all on Sunday.
I text him at 530pm asking if he still wanted to go see a movie.
By Monday the next day there was still no reply or reason.
Did I cry? Of course I did. I laughed because of course that is what was going to happen. Shit always goes down when I think something good might come out of someone. I laughed so hard I started crying. On Monday I hear nothing from him all day. I just stick around the studio and go out and have dinner with my family. I get home around 8pm and am cleaning up a little bit and finally I crawl into bed around 10pm. I've taken some sleeping pills because I don't want to think about anything. Then I see I missed 2 texts from B. Him and P are out catching pokemon and asked if I wanted to come. I don't reply and go to bed.
11:20pm rolls around and P calls me.
11:23pm rolls around and B Facetimes me
11:24pm rolls around and B calls me
11:27pm rolls around and P calls me
I finally answer. Him and B are downstairs by my building wanting to know if P can borrow a bike lock. I'm really sleepy from the sleep aid starting to kick in but I go downstairs to give P a bike lock.
B isn't there. When I ask P why he says 'Oh he said you didn't want to see him, you are mad at him or something.' I am beyond my brain tired but I know it registers that at least he knew. P wants to stay and chat with me for a bit even though I can't even keep my eyes open and he finally lets me go after about 10 minutes. That reminds me I'll see him again later.
And of course I have trouble falling back asleep and am currently sitting at my desk nodding off.
I bet B is going to not talk to me 'until I cool off'.
How annoying. I am not exactly mad at him but I am upset. There are at least 5 things I can think of that he could have done on Sunday that would have prevented this. #1 being a simple text back saying 'I can't, something came up' or even 'I forgot.'
Anyways. Something else I wanted to point out. I was 'excited' to see him on Sunday and thought something might happen, and if it didn't it didn't.
Well not only did it not happen. Nothing happened and he didn't even feel the need to answer me.
I think that is a pretty clear indication of how he feels about me so....
Take it and Go.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Friday, August 19, 2016
I Caught Wigglytuff
So pink and pleasing.
Unlike my mind.
The more I think, the more I am going crazy.
On Monday B called me up to play Pokémon and we spent about 6 hours together.
On Tuesday he emailed me asking about tips for Japan.
On Wednesday he emailed me asking more specifically why I left FB. I replied and then he told me about the great date he went on and I didn't respond.
Hearing that really made me sad. I cried a little. I'm silly I know.
On Thursday I was at the studio kinda hoping he would text or call me, but literally I've talked to him every day starting Sunday, and thought there had to be a break somewhere. And so I heard nothing. I finished my project and was walking home/Pokémon hunting around 730pm when I get a text from him asking if I want to catch Pokémon. Of course I'm happy to see him and I let him know I'm already out playing. Totally forgetting that I'm trying to keep my distance because it seems to help with the crush. He eventually asks if I want to ride my bike, to which I reply 'Not really because I'm wearing a dress'. I don't get a reply back so I double text 'I can't tell what you wanna do but I'm gonna go soon' to which he replies 'I wanna pick you up and walk around the U'.
And that is what we did.
Well kinda. He didn't eat so we went to It' Dog first and then I mentioned Hawrelak to which he had forgot about and thought it was a great idea. So, we went to Hawrelak and drove around in circles for half an hour catching Electabuzzes.
And also smoke up.
Hawrelak is super dark at night time so while he was getting the stuff ready in his car he asked me to hold onto the vape. Then he held onto my hand to steady the vape so he could put everything inside. I say 'Uh.... why don't you just hold the vape and not my hand....' He pauses....stops what he's doing and says '.....I don't know.....' And I start laughing really hard. He tells me to shut up and I laugh some more. I dunno why I thought it was so funny. We catch 2 Electabuzzes and I am pretty high. To the point where I almost tell him I like him.
But I don't.
Then the park closes, and without suggestion he drives to the U to walk around some more. Somewhere along the way he asks how my day was and I tell him I had 4 chocolate bars and a bag of chips for breakfast (I was trying to cheer up from hearing his dating situation). He laughs and says 'and you can't even see it'. He mentions two different girls while we are out. A story about a pretty girl he added on FB 5 years ago, who just accepted his request yesterday, and that Jesse is trying to pick up the new girl he is seeing. It doesn't hurt much this time and I'm glad. Maybe it's going away? I dunno. We are walking around campus and it's probably because I am super high but I keep thinking something is going to happen. He see's a gym and says, "lets go behind those trees so I can beat this gym." I say "....Or you can just stand right here in the light and beat it?"
This morning when I woke up, I thought, everything that happened yesterday could have been a move he was trying to make, or equally just a completely innocent Friend-zone notion.
I can't tell. I am totally leaning towards friend-zone and am pretty sure I am just over thinking. But I have such wishful thinking....
Around midnight we get back to his car and he drops me off at home. He gives me his usual fistbump and I awkwardly get out of his car. I walk up the stairs to the door and buzz myself in. I turn around and see his car is still there..... and I wave Bye.....
Whether or not he was waiting for me to go in or catching Zubat, I do not know...
I don't know what to do. Every thing in my brain is telling me to not tell him I like him.
Unlike my mind.
The more I think, the more I am going crazy.
On Monday B called me up to play Pokémon and we spent about 6 hours together.
On Tuesday he emailed me asking about tips for Japan.
On Wednesday he emailed me asking more specifically why I left FB. I replied and then he told me about the great date he went on and I didn't respond.
Hearing that really made me sad. I cried a little. I'm silly I know.
On Thursday I was at the studio kinda hoping he would text or call me, but literally I've talked to him every day starting Sunday, and thought there had to be a break somewhere. And so I heard nothing. I finished my project and was walking home/Pokémon hunting around 730pm when I get a text from him asking if I want to catch Pokémon. Of course I'm happy to see him and I let him know I'm already out playing. Totally forgetting that I'm trying to keep my distance because it seems to help with the crush. He eventually asks if I want to ride my bike, to which I reply 'Not really because I'm wearing a dress'. I don't get a reply back so I double text 'I can't tell what you wanna do but I'm gonna go soon' to which he replies 'I wanna pick you up and walk around the U'.
And that is what we did.
Well kinda. He didn't eat so we went to It' Dog first and then I mentioned Hawrelak to which he had forgot about and thought it was a great idea. So, we went to Hawrelak and drove around in circles for half an hour catching Electabuzzes.
And also smoke up.
Hawrelak is super dark at night time so while he was getting the stuff ready in his car he asked me to hold onto the vape. Then he held onto my hand to steady the vape so he could put everything inside. I say 'Uh.... why don't you just hold the vape and not my hand....' He pauses....stops what he's doing and says '.....I don't know.....' And I start laughing really hard. He tells me to shut up and I laugh some more. I dunno why I thought it was so funny. We catch 2 Electabuzzes and I am pretty high. To the point where I almost tell him I like him.
But I don't.
Then the park closes, and without suggestion he drives to the U to walk around some more. Somewhere along the way he asks how my day was and I tell him I had 4 chocolate bars and a bag of chips for breakfast (I was trying to cheer up from hearing his dating situation). He laughs and says 'and you can't even see it'. He mentions two different girls while we are out. A story about a pretty girl he added on FB 5 years ago, who just accepted his request yesterday, and that Jesse is trying to pick up the new girl he is seeing. It doesn't hurt much this time and I'm glad. Maybe it's going away? I dunno. We are walking around campus and it's probably because I am super high but I keep thinking something is going to happen. He see's a gym and says, "lets go behind those trees so I can beat this gym." I say "....Or you can just stand right here in the light and beat it?"
This morning when I woke up, I thought, everything that happened yesterday could have been a move he was trying to make, or equally just a completely innocent Friend-zone notion.
I can't tell. I am totally leaning towards friend-zone and am pretty sure I am just over thinking. But I have such wishful thinking....
Around midnight we get back to his car and he drops me off at home. He gives me his usual fistbump and I awkwardly get out of his car. I walk up the stairs to the door and buzz myself in. I turn around and see his car is still there..... and I wave Bye.....
Whether or not he was waiting for me to go in or catching Zubat, I do not know...
I don't know what to do. Every thing in my brain is telling me to not tell him I like him.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
No Charmander
After Polish Guy pulled that dick move and said he didn't want to date me and just wanted to be friends, I remember thinking.
He wants to be single while Tom is here so he can party with him and not be tied down.
I originally thought it was just that I was rubbing off on Polish Guy again and that's why he wanted to talk to me again (I'm that great of a person?) But then I thought some more.....
Tom's not here anymore. He left a couple weeks ago.
And when did Polish Guy start acknowledging me again?..... Now that's a pretty funny coincidence, isn't it.
He wants to be single while Tom is here so he can party with him and not be tied down.
I originally thought it was just that I was rubbing off on Polish Guy again and that's why he wanted to talk to me again (I'm that great of a person?) But then I thought some more.....
Tom's not here anymore. He left a couple weeks ago.
And when did Polish Guy start acknowledging me again?..... Now that's a pretty funny coincidence, isn't it.
Pikachu use Thunderbolt
It's slowly killing me.
I promised all the Shooting Stars I saw on Saturday that I was just going to stay friends with B. He is one of my favorite people to hang out with.
I promised myself I wouldn't try anything.
I feel like Freya. From Chobits. She falls in love with her father and knows that its not right because her father loves her mother and she could never take him away from her. So she slowly falls apart from knowing the person she loves can never love her back.. :'(
On Sunday he told me he's on and off seeing someone. It made my heart hurt a little.
When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person, at the same time, that's when its real.Then yesterday I had a dream we made out in his bed. He invited me up and we were lying down together and he just leaned over and kissed me.
I'm screwed.
I think it's just that we've been hanging out together so much that I'm starting to like him again. That and his goddam facial hair which has made him like 10x more attractive. Argh. Since my last post I've kinda been trying to keep my distance (ie haven't gone to the bar with him, tried to cut back on the texting) but I would still feel quite happy when his name showed up on my phone or inbox, or a little sad when it didn't. I got a comment from both him and Polish Guy on my Raven Cosplay, undoubtedly thanks to all the thigh I showed, and after Animethon I finally downloaded Pokémon Go. I was originally playing pretty incognito and nobody knew, but one night I went to the leg and P picked me out from the crowd and that was the end of that secret. After that B's been kinda on and off asking me to go and catch Pokémon with him. I'm positive he thinks of me as just a friend now but maybe a pretty friend. He does give me the odd compliment and tells me I look nice every once in a while, but he also ignores texts of mine sometimes. I dunno. I wish I had more guy friends to consult with, but I'm also pretty sure I'm just thinking too much. Guys don't talk to you about other girls if they are interested in you right?
On Saturday B & P went on a rafting trip. I didn't want to go and was walking around Whyte when a car honks at me and I see P and a couple other people I know on their way to Bubble Tea and invite me. B broke his phone and is out hunting for a new one and is MIA. But I do go with them, and then I end up having the worst panic attack of my life. It ended up not just being Polish Guy but like a dozen of his other friends from the rafting trip. They all go to SFC and I stupidly box myself into a corner so when everyone's food arrives I get trapped. I can't leave, I can't move, I have nothing to distract myself with. So I started panicking pretty bad. My heart started pounding and my eyes started watering. I was so scared I was going to start crying and everyone was going to look at me. And then I started feeling really stupid for freaking out in a simple situation. I ended up being able to keep it under wraps but I text P and say I have to get out of here, and that I was having really bad anxiety. When we get out of the restaurant I don't talk for the next 20 minutes. P asks if I'm feeling better and then tries to carry on conversation while we go look for Pokémon. I think maybe he is developing a small crush on me again. When we were sitting on the park bench and I leaned in close to make a joke and I'm pretty sure he looked at my mouth. He grabbed my hand a couple times and also made some innuendo when I told him I could reach two Pokestops while lying in bed. But anyways, towards the end of the night, he started telling me again how I was one of the most interesting people he has met and wished he could understand me better.
And then I went home started my FB hiatus.
And then P&B went to Prive to party it up and make out with girls.
During the time I was hanging out with P, I had messaged B twice (text and FB) and he didn't reply but posted something on FB. Little bummed? Yeah. I guess he did eventually text me back late at night "Just got a new phone, sorry for the late reply". To which I say nothing. And so while they were at Prive I just walked to campus and went stargazing.
Sunday I wake up and still feel kinda bummed from the panic attack. I had texted G and Tiny for help but Tiny made me feel even worse, while Gabby I know tried but didn't understand why I was panicking. So, I'm getting ready to go to WEM and just about to leave when I get a phone call from B. He asks if I wanna go for brunch, to which I say yes because for the first time in years I don't have dimsum plans with my grandparents. I walk over to his place and we go to Normand's for brunch. He asks me if I can move dimsum to Saturdays from now on and always go with him for Sunday Brunch. I'm sure he's only saying that because he loves brunch at Normand's. It's kinda quiet in the beginning and he asks why I haven't been coming out lately and asks if I'm getting stressed out again and/or don't want to socialize. I kinda beat around the bush and we change topics and conversation eventually picks up. Somehow we get on the topic of dating and I say 'I swear the only thing I have going for me is black hair and slanty eyes'. His reply is 'you're pretty hilarious too'. He ends up grabbing my meal and I say thanks and we go to WEM. It's kinda funny because I went to WEM on a mission and every store that I went into it ended up being him that bought something. In Aritzia he says 'There are no pretty girls in here.... well except for you!' And that makes me smile. Big brother is at WEM so I end up leaving with him and we go and get groceries. I tell B I'll text him when I get back downtown to go play Pokémon. When I finally get home it starts pouring rain and I'm a little sad because I do want to go out still and wait out the rain. When it stops I grab my phone and see I missed a text from B.
You left FB again?
P and I are going to see a movie in 10 minutes. We just decided this so sorry for the short notice.
My eyes water a little bit. I don't really recall B saying Sorry to me very often. And that he noticed I left FB (which I'm sure was bound to happen because I was in a group chat with him).
I text him back a few hours later telling him about the bad panic attack and that I wouldn't have made the movie but if they go out after, to let me know. A few hours pass and I think they just decide to do their own thing when I do get a text from B who says they are at the leg grounds. I debated if I should go, or if I should just go to bed and I am genuinely leaning towards the latter when I end up surprisingly going to leg. I'm walking there in my incognito clothing when B bikes past me, does a double take, realizes its me and says Geezus you're like a flippin ninja. I laugh because it's true and no one actually knows. P is also with him and we are walking around when he leaves to catch something and leaves B and I alone.
Are you feeling better?
I was actually a little surprised he asked me, I thought the leg text was his acknowledgement and he just didn't want to bring anything up. I sheepishly laugh and say yeah, and then go into a little bit of detail. It's not a serious conversation but when he's walking me home (okay he's actually walking to get Pokestops) he says to me, I always thought you were doing good for the last little while but I guess I don't know everything. And I tell him 'That's what I always think too". He drops me off at the condo and I walk up and for the first time I look back to see if he's still there.
He is. But most likely catching a Pokémon. Ha-ha/*single tear.
Monday, yesterday, after I get off work I go home and take a nap. Dead tired. When I get up I want to go out because its such a nice day, but I'm not sure where to go or what to do. I end up *nerd alert* going out to hatch some 10km Pokeggs. So I get on my bike for the first time since I almost flipped over the handlebars and bike to KW. I get there and walk around a little bit when I get a phone call. I have a feeling I know who it is. Who else would call me around this time?
And it is.
Hi B.
Hey what are you doing?
.....I don't want to tell you.......
*laughs* Where are you? I'll totally come and play!
I have some 10k eggs to hatch so I biked to Kingsway.
*laughs louder* oh my god you're so nerdy now, I love it. Okay I'll come meet you.
And that's the story of how I spent the next 6 hours playing Pokémon with Supercrush.
I wanted to drop some sweets off to my grandparents so we biked over to Chinatown and popped in.
Grandparent's never remember B, but are always happy to have visitors. B tells me he likes my grandpa and that he's funny. And then we bike to the leg and meet up with Polish Guy. I still have like 3km to go before my eggs hatch so I'm booking it on my own. Polish Guy is stealing my dual battery pack again and we are wandering off together before he has to leave for work. I find B and its almost midnight. He asks if I want to go home or keep going. I laugh and ask what does he think. (lawl) So we get biking again and he ends up going to grab something to eat and we just sit in the parking lot and chat for a bit while he eats.
It was nice.
After that B asked if I needed him to bike me home, to which I said no and then he told me the best way to get home and then we said bye.
I always feel like I let a load off my chest when I write out my day. It's so silly. But it feels like a little bit of the crush disappears after this.
Also. Right before I went to bed Polish Guy texted me You are so sweet when you sleep.
Also it is 2pm on Tuesday and Polish Guy just texted me asking if I'm at work....
I promised all the Shooting Stars I saw on Saturday that I was just going to stay friends with B. He is one of my favorite people to hang out with.
I promised myself I wouldn't try anything.
I feel like Freya. From Chobits. She falls in love with her father and knows that its not right because her father loves her mother and she could never take him away from her. So she slowly falls apart from knowing the person she loves can never love her back.. :'(
On Sunday he told me he's on and off seeing someone. It made my heart hurt a little.
When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person, at the same time, that's when its real.Then yesterday I had a dream we made out in his bed. He invited me up and we were lying down together and he just leaned over and kissed me.
I'm screwed.
I think it's just that we've been hanging out together so much that I'm starting to like him again. That and his goddam facial hair which has made him like 10x more attractive. Argh. Since my last post I've kinda been trying to keep my distance (ie haven't gone to the bar with him, tried to cut back on the texting) but I would still feel quite happy when his name showed up on my phone or inbox, or a little sad when it didn't. I got a comment from both him and Polish Guy on my Raven Cosplay, undoubtedly thanks to all the thigh I showed, and after Animethon I finally downloaded Pokémon Go. I was originally playing pretty incognito and nobody knew, but one night I went to the leg and P picked me out from the crowd and that was the end of that secret. After that B's been kinda on and off asking me to go and catch Pokémon with him. I'm positive he thinks of me as just a friend now but maybe a pretty friend. He does give me the odd compliment and tells me I look nice every once in a while, but he also ignores texts of mine sometimes. I dunno. I wish I had more guy friends to consult with, but I'm also pretty sure I'm just thinking too much. Guys don't talk to you about other girls if they are interested in you right?
On Saturday B & P went on a rafting trip. I didn't want to go and was walking around Whyte when a car honks at me and I see P and a couple other people I know on their way to Bubble Tea and invite me. B broke his phone and is out hunting for a new one and is MIA. But I do go with them, and then I end up having the worst panic attack of my life. It ended up not just being Polish Guy but like a dozen of his other friends from the rafting trip. They all go to SFC and I stupidly box myself into a corner so when everyone's food arrives I get trapped. I can't leave, I can't move, I have nothing to distract myself with. So I started panicking pretty bad. My heart started pounding and my eyes started watering. I was so scared I was going to start crying and everyone was going to look at me. And then I started feeling really stupid for freaking out in a simple situation. I ended up being able to keep it under wraps but I text P and say I have to get out of here, and that I was having really bad anxiety. When we get out of the restaurant I don't talk for the next 20 minutes. P asks if I'm feeling better and then tries to carry on conversation while we go look for Pokémon. I think maybe he is developing a small crush on me again. When we were sitting on the park bench and I leaned in close to make a joke and I'm pretty sure he looked at my mouth. He grabbed my hand a couple times and also made some innuendo when I told him I could reach two Pokestops while lying in bed. But anyways, towards the end of the night, he started telling me again how I was one of the most interesting people he has met and wished he could understand me better.
And then I went home started my FB hiatus.
And then P&B went to Prive to party it up and make out with girls.
During the time I was hanging out with P, I had messaged B twice (text and FB) and he didn't reply but posted something on FB. Little bummed? Yeah. I guess he did eventually text me back late at night "Just got a new phone, sorry for the late reply". To which I say nothing. And so while they were at Prive I just walked to campus and went stargazing.
Sunday I wake up and still feel kinda bummed from the panic attack. I had texted G and Tiny for help but Tiny made me feel even worse, while Gabby I know tried but didn't understand why I was panicking. So, I'm getting ready to go to WEM and just about to leave when I get a phone call from B. He asks if I wanna go for brunch, to which I say yes because for the first time in years I don't have dimsum plans with my grandparents. I walk over to his place and we go to Normand's for brunch. He asks me if I can move dimsum to Saturdays from now on and always go with him for Sunday Brunch. I'm sure he's only saying that because he loves brunch at Normand's. It's kinda quiet in the beginning and he asks why I haven't been coming out lately and asks if I'm getting stressed out again and/or don't want to socialize. I kinda beat around the bush and we change topics and conversation eventually picks up. Somehow we get on the topic of dating and I say 'I swear the only thing I have going for me is black hair and slanty eyes'. His reply is 'you're pretty hilarious too'. He ends up grabbing my meal and I say thanks and we go to WEM. It's kinda funny because I went to WEM on a mission and every store that I went into it ended up being him that bought something. In Aritzia he says 'There are no pretty girls in here.... well except for you!' And that makes me smile. Big brother is at WEM so I end up leaving with him and we go and get groceries. I tell B I'll text him when I get back downtown to go play Pokémon. When I finally get home it starts pouring rain and I'm a little sad because I do want to go out still and wait out the rain. When it stops I grab my phone and see I missed a text from B.
You left FB again?
P and I are going to see a movie in 10 minutes. We just decided this so sorry for the short notice.
My eyes water a little bit. I don't really recall B saying Sorry to me very often. And that he noticed I left FB (which I'm sure was bound to happen because I was in a group chat with him).
I text him back a few hours later telling him about the bad panic attack and that I wouldn't have made the movie but if they go out after, to let me know. A few hours pass and I think they just decide to do their own thing when I do get a text from B who says they are at the leg grounds. I debated if I should go, or if I should just go to bed and I am genuinely leaning towards the latter when I end up surprisingly going to leg. I'm walking there in my incognito clothing when B bikes past me, does a double take, realizes its me and says Geezus you're like a flippin ninja. I laugh because it's true and no one actually knows. P is also with him and we are walking around when he leaves to catch something and leaves B and I alone.
Are you feeling better?
I was actually a little surprised he asked me, I thought the leg text was his acknowledgement and he just didn't want to bring anything up. I sheepishly laugh and say yeah, and then go into a little bit of detail. It's not a serious conversation but when he's walking me home (okay he's actually walking to get Pokestops) he says to me, I always thought you were doing good for the last little while but I guess I don't know everything. And I tell him 'That's what I always think too". He drops me off at the condo and I walk up and for the first time I look back to see if he's still there.
He is. But most likely catching a Pokémon. Ha-ha/*single tear.
Monday, yesterday, after I get off work I go home and take a nap. Dead tired. When I get up I want to go out because its such a nice day, but I'm not sure where to go or what to do. I end up *nerd alert* going out to hatch some 10km Pokeggs. So I get on my bike for the first time since I almost flipped over the handlebars and bike to KW. I get there and walk around a little bit when I get a phone call. I have a feeling I know who it is. Who else would call me around this time?
And it is.
Hi B.
Hey what are you doing?
.....I don't want to tell you.......
*laughs* Where are you? I'll totally come and play!
I have some 10k eggs to hatch so I biked to Kingsway.
*laughs louder* oh my god you're so nerdy now, I love it. Okay I'll come meet you.
And that's the story of how I spent the next 6 hours playing Pokémon with Supercrush.
I wanted to drop some sweets off to my grandparents so we biked over to Chinatown and popped in.
Grandparent's never remember B, but are always happy to have visitors. B tells me he likes my grandpa and that he's funny. And then we bike to the leg and meet up with Polish Guy. I still have like 3km to go before my eggs hatch so I'm booking it on my own. Polish Guy is stealing my dual battery pack again and we are wandering off together before he has to leave for work. I find B and its almost midnight. He asks if I want to go home or keep going. I laugh and ask what does he think. (lawl) So we get biking again and he ends up going to grab something to eat and we just sit in the parking lot and chat for a bit while he eats.
It was nice.
After that B asked if I needed him to bike me home, to which I said no and then he told me the best way to get home and then we said bye.
I always feel like I let a load off my chest when I write out my day. It's so silly. But it feels like a little bit of the crush disappears after this.
Also. Right before I went to bed Polish Guy texted me You are so sweet when you sleep.
Also it is 2pm on Tuesday and Polish Guy just texted me asking if I'm at work....
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