Part II

 I don't even know if I should be writing this post.

So B came over on Saturday night, the day before my date.  And I think he hit on me.  Actually I think he very strongly hit on me.

I don't know.  I remember being really scared and confused....

So. On Saturday a few days after I had asked him, B asked if I was free to hang out that night and he could bring his doggo over.  I actually was relieved he asked for Saturday instead of Sunday, aka date night, and said yes.

He drove over to my place and really, it wasn't that weird when we first met.  He came out of his truck and we just walked over to the dog park and chatted and caught up.  I was really thankful it wasn't forced and awkward.  I even tell B, that I have a date tomorrow, and I was kind of excited!!  An hourish later we start heading back to my place and then B suggests to get dinner and I said we can just eat at my place since he had his doggo and we do.  As usual B is also high as a kite, but also this is very normal behaviour.

After dinner he's like, so do you want me to leave, do you have plans or?  And I wanted to talk to my date but I hadn't seen B in so long too I was like ah we can just talk and catch up.  We do catch up quite a bit talking about old friends and new friends and then some time later B says to me:

So you know that I hit on you and you turned me down right?  And that's why I didn't understand why you said what you said.

And I was like WHAT? No I think you are confusing me with someone else.... I have no recollection of this....  

And he's like No, it was you, I remember it was at your old condo and we were sitting on the couch and I moved in and you were like Uh what are you doing, and I was super high and like, Okay yup, friendzoned, and I just never did anything again.

I really don't have any recollection of this and I just laughed but was in a little bit of shock.  WHAT....

Anyways I try to play this off because like... A. He has a LT girlfriend; B. I'm going on a date tomorrow; C. Its been like 5+ years.

I just change the subject and eventually B is like lets just watch a movie, and I'm like, I do not have the mental capacity to watch a movie right now, but he chooses one anyways.  It actually was quite clever he chose a movie that he liked but had also watched before so he could just summarize it for me because he knew I wouldn't be paying attention.  It was The Day After Tomorrow. 

1/4 way through the movie he goes:

You really don't remember me hitting on you?

And I have to stop and think because it is making a little nervous.  Um.... maybe.... I maybe remember the scenario now but I don't think I knew what you were doing, that's why I asked what you were doing.  I'm really oblivious, B....

And then he brought up the last thing I had said to him 5 years ago and was like 'You kind of wrote a love note to me....'

And now I'm just like, I don't want to talk about this right now B, I was in a lot of pain.

And we go back to the movie.

About 3/4 into the movie...

B gets up and sits very, very close to me and puts his arm around me, pulls me in a little and leans in extremely, extremely close.

Do you understand what I am doing now?

And I full out start panicking.  I cannot look at him, I cannot think, I don't know what is going on, I was so scared and so confused.  I just covered my face.

I don't know B, I don't know. I think at the time I really did just think you were my friend and I didn't understand what was going on.  But as time passed and we hung out more I started to like you more and more and more, and eventually I just needed to leave because it was making me really sad.  I'm sorry I apologize for doing that to you.

And he doesn't let me go for a really long time and I was scared/confused/nervous that we were going to kiss and I just thought of my date and couldn't move.

Don't you have a girlfriend?

Yeah and don't you have a date, tomorrow?

I was just so beyond confused and scared. 

Eventually he lets me go and we just go back to the movie and I try to continue talking like nothing happened.  I don't know wtf I was doing or what just happened.  Like the thing I had always dreamed about but suddenly it was happening and I was terrified....

The rest of the night goes back to normal and we just talk and we finish the movie and I give his dog a big hug, and then he leaves.

I have to go to bed immediately because I cannot comprehend what has happened in the last 5 days.  I start talking to a guy who ghosted me for 7 years and we are going on a date, then my crush of 7 years comes over and possibly hits on me, all in the same day.  What. The. Fuck.

The next day I am a mess.  I can't stop thinking about what happened, and also my date.  I'm scared B is mad because he made another move and I didn't do anything.  That he risked his relationship and expressed his feelings and I didn't return them..... I really want to go on my date with this guy and I end up spilling the beans to JD.  She is just equally as shocked as I am but tells me to go on my date and enjoy it.  Not to think about what happened with B and to revisit it later (or not at all if the date goes well).

And well.  The date went really well.

Like possibly amazingly well.

We went out for bubble tea at 630 pm and then for a walk, which somehow lasted for 5 hours.  Time slowed down and I think about him lots.

How is this possible.