Shit will blow your mind away.
It's been a few months since I last posted something. I went on a couple trips and am feeling better. I've been on Tinder for probably a year or two now and yeaaaaaah I know, Tinder is not the best place to look for guys.... I was talking to someone I really really liked, probably the first 2 weeks I got Tinder and we had a lot in common and I liked talking to him. But, he called in sick last minute during the first 2 times we were supposed to meet up and it made me really really really mad. I think now, that I probably over-reacted but at the time I was like wtf!!! Couldn't have told me like a few hours before? Had to tell me absolutely last minute? Anyways, that didn't go so well and he stopped talking to me.... :(
I talked to a couple more guys and we just didn't have very much chemistry at all. Second most recent guy I thought was kinda cute, and he really really liked talking to me, and wanted to meet up pretty fast. I wasn't feeling sociable but just said yes because I started to feel guilty. Bad idea because I was not prepared to meet a guy who talked so much. Wowsers. I mean, it was nice because he always had something to say, but wow, he always had something to say. Anyways, after that date, he asked for my phone number and I was not excited to give it to him at all. But I did, and I think he could tell I wasn't interested because we texted for a couple days and then he stopped talking to me as well. His favorite ice cream was Triple Vanilla, guys.....
So yeah. Everything has been kind of a bust. No B, Brother still lives with me. It's been a real drag. A few weeks ago, in fact, before I went to Toronto. I got super super mad at T (what else is usual). This guy is just such a bad roommate. Or at least I think so. I find it so hard to live with him sometimes that I just hate coming home. For the most part, its just that the condo has gotten so messy and things aren't where I would like them to be (its my condo!!!!!) and the routine I was so used to is so different. Anyways, a few weeks ago I. slept over at my place. I had to go to the studio for a fitting and then I came back to the condo and T wanted to go do groceries. In the car I asked if we could go get something to eat first because I and I hadn't eaten all day and I was hungry. He replied that he would go after groceries because he had to go to work at 7pm. IT WAS 3PM. So he drove straight to the grocery store like I didn't just say I was hungry. I was really really flipping mad (and not just hangry). So. After groceries and I had a bite to eat.....
I did what any normal person would do.
I messaged a guy on Tinder that had been talking to me on and off again/ asking me to come over all the time, even though I wasn't exactly showing a lot of interest.
I messaged him, he invited me over for dinner at his house. I went over. And we had sex 3 times that night.
Sex and he made me candlelit dinner !
I wasn't really expecting anything much, after because it was Tinder. He didn't even know my last name and legit we were naked within the first 10 minutes I got into his place. But, it's been.... 3 weeks I think, and we are still talking to each other, and he's actually a very very sweet guy. I think he likes me outside of his bed.
Yesterday was the first time I saw him after I came back from Toronto, and it had probably been about 2 weeks. He messaged me a couple times after I got back to say he had missed me (and I was like hah, yeah right, okay). I went over around 7pm, played with his dogs. Then we had sex. He made me dinner (spaghetti with meat sauce, which I surprisingly liked because I don't like tomato sauce at all), then we quickly made it over to Yelo'd just before they closed to try the ice cream I've been talking about since the first day I went over. Got back and we uh.... got high. It made me really really sleepy at first and I thought that was going to be it. But he told me that's how the stuff works, I would get really sleepy and then it would kick in and either I would be a zombie if we didn't do anything or we'd just have sex all night long. And the latter is what happened. Around midnight I got up and he stopped playing his video game and sat down on the couch with me and we made out for a bit before having sex pretty hard on the couch. We went into the bedroom and told me 'You get really thirsty from this, so remember to drink lots of water'. Cuddled for a bit and then I totally started to feel everything kick in, and had sex again. Body was starting to feel super numb but I felt so happy. Like I was just lying in bed smiling while he went out for a smoke. He came back and I was super happy to see him and told him, and also said thanks for the drugs (facepalm) and he said thanks for being willing to try them. Had sex again. It was weird (for me) because I'm a bit of a screamer, but on the drugs it was super calm and the kisses were long and sweet. When he came back the second time I just snuggled with him and traced my hands and fingers on his back, arms, chest face etc etc. Everything felt intensified. I asked him how long this would last and he said 'A long time. That's how it works. You kinda go up and down and up and back down. We're about halfway through now'. Snuggled some more and then had sex again. Every time before he went out he brought me a cup of water and told me to drink and this last time when he came back he told me that I would probably start to feel a little bit antsy but it was normal. And so I just laid in bed and hallucinated for like 2 hours. By around 5am I started to feel sleepy and dozed off. Actually I had a really really really good sleep. Like the best sleep I've had in years. It was really nice. Around noon, the guy finally woke up (partially because I had to leave) and he drove me back home. He told me, sometimes a side effect is you get a really big drop in serotonin, so you might feel a little down later, but don't worry it's just temporary okay. And. I just thought it was nice that he kinda kept me in the loop/ no surprises. He also opened the door for me when we went for Starbucks that morning. (I pay attention to this stuff!). I think he's starting to grow on me.....
But.... he has several very bad vices (Vices like I don't think I will tell anybody because they are such red flags). Oh god, what am I doing. If I just don't think or find out, it's all great right?
Right?
I think he was previously married, and I think he usually sees more than one girl (or at least has sex with) at a time. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, C????
God, this is such a bad idea. He is really really nice though, and super thoughtful and yeah okay the sex is pretty effing amazing..... but.... I think my hearts gonna hurt when I find out about the other girls.....
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