The crosswalk

My funeral home colleagues got me a dozen lucky red envelopes filled with quarters for my last day of work.  I've been saving up the quarters to spend on a chocolate bar or something if I've had a bad day.  Not that I had a really bad day today, but I bought a chocolate using the lucky quarters.  I walked around ECC a bit with J and then started walking home a little bit after 5pm.  As usual I thought a little bit about B.  He even popped into my dreams twice in the last couple weeks. (lucky me) Anyways, I decided to take the usual route home instead of the longer way and was walking down 100 ave when I turned and stopped at the crosswalk to cross.  I watched one car zoom past me and wasn't sure if the car behind it was going to stop or not. It slowed down and so I started to cross.

But then.... I realized it was a black Jeep that had stopped for me......

I looked back up at the driver.

It was B

I actually wasn't sure if it was him or not at first.  I did a double take and stared probably a bit longer than I should have. He nodded at me and that's when I knew.

I think I smiled a little and gave a little wave, then looked down and kept walking.


I thought maybe he would message me when I got home and got a little anxious.  But he didn't, and then I started to do what my brain does best and over thought.  He just nodded at me. Both his hands were on the steering wheel and I kinda thought he would have waved.  So then it just felt like he nodded as an acknowledgement and not to wave Hi.

And so I came to the conclusion that he's mad at me and the last things I said to him.

To be honest, I think I did exactly what I thought I would do when I finally bumped into him again.  We live withing 7 blocks of each other, it was bound to happen.  Wave and drop my gaze.

Maybe it's my goal to become strangers again.

I don't know.  But the first thought that came to my head after I finished crossing was How do I look and I wish I put on lipstick.