Can't stop wishing for you.

One year ago I wished you would slow down because you were smothering me and that we were moving too fast. Today I wish the only thing you would do is call me to say hello. I genuinely thought that you were someone special, and I, at one point in time, thought about moving in together. Little did I know you weren't on the same path as me, and when I found that out you couldn't see us together next year I didn't know what to do. The little picture I had started drawing was completely wiped clean and I found myself standing alone not knowing what to do anymore. I don't understand how we got here and I just wish you would tell me what is happening to you and what caused you to see me differently now. You once told me you wanted to take me to Vegas, that you wished I was constantly with you, that I could wake up next to you, and that made me feel so special. Now you barely even hold my hand anymore and look at me like you're not attracted to me. I'm trying so hard to be strong and not smother you and give you time and space, but I find myself wanting more and more of your time, and you giving me less and less of it. I don't know whats changed, but my heart says its you. I want so much for you turn back into the David I fell for one year ago, but I don't think you are willing to change back. I've told you more than once what bothers me and what I wished you could do for me, but more and more I feel like you are deliberately ignoring me. More and more I find myself wondering if you are deliberately ignoring me so I will push you away and you won't feel so bad for breaking up with me. I do feel like we are drifting apart. I do feel the tension between us of trying to find something to talk about, and I don't know how to fix it. I just wish so very hard you could see what you are doing to me. That you're ambivilance is slowly but surely breaking me down. I miss you so much, and I hate what's happening to me. I just want so much for you to hold me and for me to feel loved again.