When did I become so void.
All this time I thought I was just being passive but I never thought I was coming off as not caring. Shit. Whenever people ask me for advice....Id just tell them..... "It doesn't matter what I think, its your life". I just thought that it made sense. Who am I to give someone advice when I know nothing about them...... Arrrrrrgh. But now that I've been told that that reasoning 'lacks empathy' it makes me feel so bad. So. Bad. How the hell did this happen? I remember when Jess was at our place and she found out she had Cancer. And she sat on the couch and cried and I just..... I didn't know what to do. I sat in the kitchen....and I fucking didn't say anything. What is wrong with me. Aaaaaaaah. But I really don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes. Different circumstances make different outcomes. And.... and..... FUCK I'm just making up excuses again. Why do I doubt myself so much. My mind just freezes when I have to make decisions regarding life. Fuck fuck fuck. Why do I doubt myself so much. Why can't I just say yes or no, or this is what I think? I'm so fucking scared of what people think of me that I can't even make decisions for myself.
I'm sorry too for trying to be more than just friends. My heart tells me the truth but my mind keeps wandering. I thought I had it under control....but I guess I dont. So.... I'll try harder okay.
1 comment:
Hi, silent is sometime better than talking bullshit. I thnik, if i was in your situation, i would left my contact to speak first if he want to speak. Else, just being near your friend is better than nothing. I think a presence near ourself, whose one we know have all the support that you need is very helpfull in these situations ;)
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