Hi Sports Fans!
Anyways, so I've been semi worrying lately that I need a fourth job......I feel like I'm not working enough/ making enough money. My 2 jobs at KW & KY combined dont even give me full time hours so I worry about how am I supposed to pay for rent, pay for my studio, pay for groceries, pay for supplies and fabric etc etc. I mean, how is it now that I'm needing a job to pay for whats supposed to be my job for the rest of my life? I worry if I'm on the right path or not and if I'm wasting my time chasing a design career. I always always believed that as long as I could wake up happy and wanting to go to work it woudn't matter how much I was making. Sanity is much more important than wealth.....or so I believed. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes realizing that I've spent 6+ years in school and I'm still waitressing. (and I'm not even happy there....) My nursing friends sometimes make more in a week than I do in a month and I wonder if 1/2/5 years from now I'll still be okay with that......
I mean, when I have time to design/draft/sew I love it, but I wonder if I'm capable of making a living do it......Did I waste another year in school chasing another fairy tale dream?....And The real sad thing is, the second I started having these thoughts I immediately thought about going back to school. I didn't even wanna attempt to see if I could do it.....I just looked for the next escape. I'm so scared of failure sometimes it makes me wanna vomit. Blaaaaaaah......
I know I know I just worry too much about other people and what pthey think, I should focus on what I want yadda yadda. But just in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, sometimes your mind gets the best of you......
Does that make sense? I feel like it kinda doesn't but yeah....
Anyways I gotta go to bed now. I somehow managed to rack it up to 4am again. *sob sob*
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