an arm and a leg...

...is what i'd give for this kakashi plushie. Its selling on ebay for like 45USD. So ladies and gents, xmas passed already. I hate to say it, but christmas is getting more and more depressing each year.... present-wise that is. Hahaha. how sad, i'm all about the presents baby. I opened my first 2 presents and they consisted of a perfume (which i still believe is a man's cologne), and a baby blue nike sweater (if you've seen what i wear you'll know i dont wear baby blue). Haha i asked my mom if she wanted either. And after those 2 presents I was already 3/4 done. le sigh. Hahah my parents got me a chinese translator machine thing. Supposed 2 be pretty high tech, but i haven't figured out how to use it yet. My brothers got me a nintendo DS. which i told them was my favorite present of the. yahoo. Hahah i've been playing mario 64 nonstop for the past 2 days and I've got 40 stars already. I remember when i was like 10 and playing the original mario 64 it took me 2 months to get 40 stars. Hahah so sad. Any ways i should probably go to sleep. Or actually i plan on sitting in bed and playing mario till the battery dies. Mwa ha ha.

never again.

even though there was over 100 people at kyoto's staff party today, i have never felt so alone in my entire life. It was so awkward, and i just sat by the hostess stand eating dinner. I had like 1/4 of what i couldve eaten because i was depressed. I almost cried when my servers asked me where my brothers were. I'm positive that i was the only one who was there by themselves. Its absolutely impossible that one couldn't have found at least one friend to bring with them, UNLESS you are corinna. My brothers decided they had better things to do than give face and come w/ me to my staff party. they decided that they would much rather clean the toilet than come w/ me. pretty disgusting that they were my last hope eh? I dont think anyone has any clue as to how much this meant to me. In elementary, and high school and university i didn't have that many friends. and the ones that i had i loved being with. I love all my friends and family and i'm happy when everyone is happy and together. I love spending time w/ them and i dont really like being alone. So imagine if you will how it would feel to have your closest friends move away. Yeah so i thought i got over it, and i figured it wasn't so bad. But today it was really hard. It just made me realize how little friends i have when i couldn't find anyone to go with. And when my brothers didn't want to go and instead stayed at home doing something they could do any other day, imagine how i felt. It was that horrible feeling all over again of being alone. Thats all i could think of even though i was surrounded my so many people. so naturally i cried. i cried to work, i cried from work. i cried after work in the tub. pretty sad because i went to soak in the tub and when i lay down i cut myself on a mother fucking piece of glass IN THE TUB. but in reality it wasn't that bad cuz i was already bleeding anyways from my own self inflicted injuries. it worries me though cuz last time i did this i dont remember their being any blood, and this time (it couldve just been cuz i was in the tub and wet) it actually started dripping a little. so yeah it appears my life is actually getting worse, and not better as i previously though. little bit worried what might happen if there is a next time. this is so sad. it just fucking SUCKS that i dont have anymore close friends out here. I seriously couldve used one tonight. i wouldve loved to have someone to TALK TO during dinner tonight, and if not that i would've loved to have a friend's place to go to after the party. I didnt want to come home to this stupid apartment where my brothers are completely fucking oblivious to how much pain i'm in. i serioiusly dont understand sometimes how i'm even related to them. fuck i shoulve just rented a hotel like i originally thought and stayed there for the night. I coulda fucking cut myself as much as i wanted there and at least i wouldn't feel bad about no one worrying because i'm actually fucking alone.

hey

so yeah, my pretty good day today just turned really bad in an hour. all because my brothers are jerks. so christmas day is coming up and kyoto is having their yearly staff party. and this is the first year where i'll actually be able to go cuz i'm in town. each person is supposed 2 be allowed to bring 2 people. however my brothers are jerks and they wont come w/ me. and all my friends are out of town. rather my only friends are out of town. so no one will go with me. i started crying in the car today because i was really sad. its such a stupid thing but it means a lot to me. like, i was never popular in school and i always had very few friends and i always felt that people didn't like me and that they thought i was weird. after i got my job at kyoto i started to open up a bit. but also at the same time i always still feel this barrier between me and my workmates because i dont open up completely and i still sit by myselves sometimes. Like all the servers and chefs see each other outside of work at least once a week to have dinner or shopping or something, so they're pretty close. and like, i just dont want to go to a staff party and have dinner by myself. and i'll feel really awkward joining another family while they're trying 2 have dinner. and i think if i go i might risk even crying because i'll be reminded of how isolated and lonely i am. like honestly, how could one person not have a single friend thats in town that they can take? and worse of all is that my two brothers, 2 ppl who are supposed 2 be closer than friends won't even come with me. that makes me really really sad. like are they ashamed of me or something, i dont see whats the problem with taking 2 hours out of their *busy* life to have free dinner with their sister. it makes me so angry and sad. so i think i'm going to leave before dinner 2morrow, because i really dont want to be there by myself, otherwise i seriously might just sit in a corner and cry. ugh, God, why do you chose to make my life so miserable, and even though i know others have it a LOT worse than not having a dinner date, could you at least stop making me think so hard? if i was a vane, uncaring person then i really wouldn't care about this crap would i? i just think its really unfair how life really isn't equal, and what goes around certainly does NOT come around.
so yes, i'm going to go and take some of the pressure off this hurting feeling i got inside me by doing some you know what *wink wink nudge nudge*

Batmaru

Hello everyone, This is Batman Mashimaru. I bought him today at T&T. hohoho. I'm sad now because there was a Spiderman Mashimaru, Superman Mashimaru, and Ultraman Mashimaru i didn't buy them. After i got home today i felt that Batmaru was a bit sad from being seperated from his fellow superhero-maru's. If i have time i will go back to WEM and buy the rest of them. HOHOHO. but what makes Batmaru EXTREMELY special is that the lady UNDERCHARGED ME for him!!!! (yes that requires FOUR exclamation marks) i'm pretty sure i remember the price tag being 9.99. But after i paid and left the store i looked at the receipt and seen 5.98! I quickened my pace after so she couldn't chase me. MWA HAHAA. haha yes that is my exciting news for the day today.
I've been scheduled to work like a horse this week. Its crazy. I'm working all day 2morrow (friday. aka the death dealing day). Sigh. My only motivation is that I seriously need money to pay for the 1000$ i've spent on xmas gifts. sob sob. Haha. and here i am still buying useless mashi's. Oh i seen a guy at work today who i thought looked like one of my classmates who i used to have a uber crush on. haha. I seen him a couple times and every time i see him i always think the same thing. But yeaaah. Thats all for now. I should prolly sleep now and prepare for the long day ahead of me 2morrolow.
PS walmart is supposidly open 24 hours this week ;) See Ya all there tomorrow!

Today is the week were they didn't have a secret rendevous

So, proof of how Barley, Ben and Bob are in cahoots. Last week and the week prior too I saw all 3 of them (well i guess minus Ben because i think he only comes in on saturdays) And this ENTIRE WEEK. I saw....'neither of them'.... dun Dun DUUUUN. Hahah which is a good thing i guess. Because i looked pretty bad. Last week i guess from all the stress and cleaning I looked like i should've been quarrantined.... seriously. My lip bloated up and started bleeding, my ear got infected, my nose was all stuffy, my eyes were kinda red, and i had breakouts gallore (most noticeably the giant pimple on my nose) Dear Lord it was quite sad. So whoever pays attention to this blog, should know that i moved out of my room and am currently sharing a different one w/ my brother. I'd just like to note how 'extremely' hard it is to fall asleep in that room. Its so f'ing hot in there. Also, my brother likes to turn on his super bright lamp when i am sleeping, or trying to sleep, and i therefore do not fall asleep. He also likes to play his new PSP hooked up to his speakers when i am sleeping or trying to sleep and i also therefore do not sleep. le sigh. So i had maybe like 3-4 hours of sleep last night before getting up this morning at 10 to go 2 work till 9. *sob sob*

But aside from that my mom came back from HK. Whoo-HA-whoo. I was trying 2 study in the living room for my mandarin final and she kept on empyting out her suitcase showing me everything that she bought. She actually put clothes on top of my notes and said *LOOK A MOY!!!!* Hahah, my mom bought me a lot of stuff. I feel kinda bad.... but at the same time i dont because i'm a greedy bastard. OHOHOH. But also at the same time, i am too fat to wear all the cool clothes she bought me from HK. The skirts she bought me are too short cuz my hips are to big, and the hoody she bought me....well lets just say HK ppl have f' ing short arms. The hoody looks like a 3/4 sleeve when i wear it, and then i just feel like an idiot wearing it because i know its not supposed 2 be 3/4 sleeve. Sigh, i'll try and change the sleeves during xmas break or something. But anyhoo, i gotta go 2 bread now, so i can fall asleep before my brother goes 2 sleep, and also so that i can wake up early 2morrow and study for my 2 exams that i have on tuesday.... Oooooh shoot me now!!

With my powers of super stalking....

....i was able to discover Barleys real name! However.... i extremely embarassed myself today. and yes i know that sentence is grammatically incorrect. So anyways. Barley and his lady friend came in today. And we only had table 4 open so i took them there. And aside from 'hi' and 'table for 2', he hasn't really said anything to me before. So i was extremely surprised when he noticed that i wasn't wearing contacts today and said soemthing like "Of all the times i've seen you, i dont think i've ever seen you wear glasses." and he smiled at me. And because i was in extreme shock from the that only thing i managed to do was so 'squeak' out a sighed *aaaaw*. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea why i said that. And after i said that i put down their menus and ran away. hahah GREAT impression Corinna. Great. le sigh. Of all the things i could have said. I could have laughed a witty laugh, said 'i dont wear them often', made a joke about being lazy, ANYTHING but squeaked out that sound. SIIIIGH hahah i seriously am living a the life of a cheezy teen flick aren't i. But yeah. barley is pretty, and i honestly think he has an azn fetish. All of his lady friends are all azn. Wee-yad. BUT change of pace here.

I dont think i've actually commented on volume 10 of Trigun Maximum yet. But, it was extremely good, and EXTREMELY sad. i read it the same amout of times as vol. 9, and i think i like 10 more. Vash made a much appreciated appearance. Oh poor vash...OH POOR WOLFWOOD. *sob sob* But, from what i believe I think Livio will make and excellent....new partner for Vash. Le sob. I know there was a longer more intriguing entry for this but i am extremely tired, and my vision is starting to shake. I got demoted in living accomodations today. Hahah, from my own suggestion, but i moved out of my room, and am now sharing a room w/ my big brother so that my 2nd brother will stop being a jerk and sleeping on the couch. Sooo sacrificed some of my privacy so my brother could get his back. But ah whatever. I guess it was worth it, I haven't seen Tchow smile that many times in a long time, so i guess its all good. Hahah. But on the other hand our place looks like its been hit by a tornado....

Doo dee doo, I seen Barley tonight!

Ho hum. Today was the official last day of classes. I was so excited because I would finally get the night off, and I was looking forward to taking an extra long nap. Alas I had a feeling that this would not be the case. For at 3 30 my workmate called me and asked me to work for her. Annnd since i no longer had class 2 attend, I had no excuse. So I went to work. And made some much needed money. As will happen tomorrow as well after i got suckered into working all day. Sigh.... BUT on the plus side i seen Barley today. Him and his supah gangsta buddies. Hohoho. I tried to avoid standing suspiciously at the hostess stand as he waited for his buddies to pay. So i went and cleaned every table possible. And even after that he was STILL standing there waiting for his lady friend to pay. So i waited in the kitchen for the longest time ever. And came back out. And he was STILL there. So i went and stood by the hostess stand for several awkward mintues having nothing to do. hahaha. Yes. that is my story. La Fin. I dont nkow why i'm avoiding that guy either.... weeeird. Wlep i gotta go sleep now so i can spend my whole day making money.... sigh.

While at the Library Reading a Fable

Ho hum heres another fable I found to be pretty interesting. This one more funny than the previous one

The Lion, The Fox, and the Stag

A lion sick in his den, unable to provide himself with food. So he asked to his friend the Fox, who came to ask how he did, "My good friend, I wish you would go to yojnger wood and beguile the big Stag, who lives there, to come to my den" I have a fancy to make my dinner off a astag's heart and brains." The Fox went to the wood and found the Stag and said to him, "My dear sir, you're in luck. You know the Lion, our King: well, he's at this point of death, and has appointed you his successor to rule over the beasts. I hope you wn't forget that I was the first to bring you the good news, And now I must be going back to him; and, if you take my advice, you'll come to and be with him at the last." The Stag was highly flattered, and followed the Fox to the lion's den, suspecting nothing. No sooner had he got inside than the Lion sprang upon him, but he misjudged his spring, and the Stag got away with only his ears torn, and retunring as fast as he could to the shelter of the wood. The Fox was much mortified, and the Lion, too, was dreadfully disappointed, for he was getting very hungry in spite of his illness. So he begged the Fox to have anohter try at coaxing the Stag to his den. "It'll be almost imipossible this time," said the Fox, "but I'll try"; and off he went to the wood a sencond time, and found the Stag resting and trying to to recover from his firgnt. As soon as he saw the Fox he cried, "You scroundrel, what do you mean by trying to lure me to my death like that? Take yourself off, or I'll do you death with my horns." But the Fox was entirely shameless. "What a coward you were," said he; "surely you didn't think the Lion meant any harm? Why, he was only going to whisper some ryal secrets intyou your ear when you went off like a scared rabbit. You have reather disgusted him, and I'm not sure he won't make the wold King instead, unless you come back and once and show you've got some spirt. I promise you he won't hurt you, and I will be your faithful servant." The Stag was foolish enought to be persuaded to return, and this time the Lion made no mistake, but overpowered him, and feasted right royally upon his carcase. The Fox, meanwhile, watching his chance, and when the Lion wasn't loking, filched away the brains to reward him for his troulbe. Presently the Lion began searching for them, of course without success: and the Fox, who was watching him, said, "I dont think it's much use your looking for the brains: a creature who twice walked into a Lion's den can't have got any."

Hahah. stupid Stag.

While Reading a Fable

I was at the library looking for books for my project a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon a section with Aesop's fables. So having just finished my first 2 exams and having plenty of reading time for the next week and a half, I decided to rent out one of the books. Obviously his fables are speckled with morals and I've found that most of them are pretty much bittersweet. This following one that I just read, made me pretty sad actually for the lion..... poor guy.

The Lion in Love
A Lion fell deeply in love with the daughter of a cottager and wanted to marry her; but her father was unwilling to give her to so fearsome a husband, and yet didn't want to offend the Lion; so he hit upon the following expedient. He went to the Lion and said, "I think you will make a very good husband for my daughter: but I cannot consent to your union unless you let me draw your teeth and pare your nails, for my daughter is terribly afraid of them." The Lion was so much in love that he readily agreed that this should be done. When once, however, he was thus disarmed, the Cottager was afraid of him no longer, but drove him away with his club.

.... aaaaw. All of the fables up until that one had guessed correctly what the outcome was. But for some reason this one took me completely by surprise. Ah i've said it once and i'll say it again, I'm a hopeless romantic. Anyhoo thats all for now. Just a little quote on a silly fable.... *sigh*

Xala

TRY TO BE SUPER QUICK TODAY I WAS SUPPOSED 2 BE ASLEEP AN HOUR AGO

Xala
Today was the screening for Xala. I'm actually kind of bittersweet about this film. I didn't really enjoy it, and i also didn't really hate it either. It probably has to do with the feelings towards El Hadji, too. In the beginning I think I really disliked him, but as the film progressed I started to feel sorry for him, especially at the end, but still at the same time I felt like he had it coming. I would have like Xala more, I think, if they could have done something to make the 2 languages more distinguishable, because for a while i didn't know they were speaking 2 different languages, and I think this would have gave a stronger effect during the scenes were Rama was talking to her father in his office, and also the scene where El Hadji was presenting his case to the other members of his work. Um... I also made note about the clothing through out Xala. There was always the traditional African American loose colorful print garbs, and then the business suit/ Western clothes. The clothing difference stood out the most, when El Hadji went to visit those African 'doctors' to take away his Xala. Here he was, in a full business suite and briefcase, looking so out of place in an isolated African village, when usually, it is the other pople who look out of place in El Hadji's world. Also, Adja (1st wife) was always wearing the traditional clothes, and Rama would alternate between the two. Oumi (2nd wife) and her family all wore Western clothes and it felt like those people were always asking for money. The first thing the eldest son did when he seen El Hadji was ask for money, and same with the 2nd wife, even saying that what he gave wasn't enough. What I thought was really ironic and sad was that, even though El Hadji seemed to care the least about Adja (ie. he didn't give them money, and when he was rid of his Xala for those few days it was Oumi who he went to visit), and jet Adja and Rama were the ones who welcomed him back to their homes after he lost his job and went broke. There was also a lot of juxtapositions of culture throughout this movie, that if one wasn't paying attention to, they might not have caught it. First I caught the clothing juxtaposition. Also, when El Hadji's workmates where casting votes about whether or not they should exclude him from their group they put the ballots in a tribal centerpiece. So symbols of 'civilization' (voting) vs. 'un-civilazation' (the tribal mask). And also the whole idea of trying to cure El Hadji's Xala. Basically trying a tribal remedy for a modern day problem. I also wanted to point out is the title Xala itself. I thought it was interesting to note that to the unknowing audience (ie. Me) they wouldn't find out what Xala was until pretty much half way through the movie. My first guess was that Xala was the name of an important female character.