It'sa me MARIO!

har i lied i'm not mario. but i have been playing paper mario :) aaaah mario is so funny. Today was a day where if i were a meaner person i woulda knocked some teeth out. Customers who are asses deserve to eat food teethless i tell you. At work when its super busy, theres always that one dickface who refuses to take the table you offer them and instead request the single super dirty table in the far far corner. And when you want to leave, regardless of the fact that you are out of uniform purse in hand and sneakers on, everyone still waves you (not the waitress) down and requests you to refill their water, and when you refil their water they tell you to bring them napkins, and when you bring them napkins they tell you to bring them side plates. GAWD save some breath for the love of god say it all the first time....vreh. so yeah today was pretty shitty now that i think about it. but on the plus side i successfully made it to WEM and bought red bean popsicles :D yeaaaaah.hmm maybe i should eat one right now....wooo aaaah, so i booked off the next 3 days from work so i could go with my brother to the upcomming smackdown event on tuesday......yeaaah who likes john cena...hahaha. not to mention i can finally go shopping with out constantly worring about being late for work. have i told anyone lately that i've gona like shoe craving? it comes from my mom's genes i tell you. i have like....7 pairs of shoes i'm gunning down right now....sigh....i wish i were rich. HAHAHAHAH aaah ebay is fun. me and my friend are looking up jock straps on ebay. when your sad, it never ceased to fail. i wonder how much underwear models get paid....

aaaw-sum

no my loyal fans i havent disappeard off the face of the earth, i just took a extended leave of absense. I went back to my hometown of fort mac for mothers day and the rest of the week and it was funny cuz i seen like...20 classmates during the week. aaaaah. But aside from the boring week of work, i *earned* enough moolah from working to pay off summer school... oh boy hahaha. My daddy paid me in cash cuz i left before cheques were distributed so i was carrying around like 1000 bucks. AND THEN my mom gave me money, followed by gramma followed by my brother. so i was like asking to be mugged haha. I had 2 live by myself for 2 days and boooy do i hate it hahah so boring, and night time is creeeeepy. i like taped my eyes shut so they wouldn't play tricks on me. buuuut the main reason for this entry today is to comment on GREEN DAY! hohooo i went 2 their concert today and it was grood. yup yup. i actually managed to save enough oxygen to last the whole concert at the 2nd row. (not on top of a garbage can like sum 41) haha i was so pissed off, some guy decided to punch some other guy via my face and he like skimmed my jaw. and 3 guys were like *fuck man you hit her* haha i told my brothers i got hit in the face and lost a tooth haha. after THAT escapade a crowd surfer kicked me in the eye resulting in my contact popping out. so i had 2 see a half blurry half clear billie, tre and mike. then i got clonked on the head like ....8 times by butt's belonging to crowd surfers. haaah but it was good ahha greenday puts on good concerts. 2 chicks in front of me passed out and i smirked cuz i seen their eyes roll 2 the back of their heads....hahah im going 2 hell. but i thinmk i gotta go 2 sleep now before my brain compresses into my spine.

Realization

Okay, i think i've finally come to a realization over one thing. I'm not over Craig. i know this because of the simple fact that when i see the name craig i get floaty and my heart skips a beat. Whats especially sad is that I've never actually met him before. Although i do recall that i had like several opportunities to meet him but ironically something would happen on the exact day an hour or 2 before/during the meeting time....it makes me sad. Really really sad and I cant help but wonder what would have happened. I know theres like a 50-50 chance that it would have ended even worse off, but that way i wouldn't have to keep thinking about him anymore. just on with my life knowing that he was a real asshole and i'm better off. Now all i can do is make up the excuse and *hope* that he was an asshole which would explain the sudden disappearance. It makes me sad again. its been like 5 months since i last talked to him but even the last conversation seemed awkward. What would have happened if i met you that day? What would have happened if I hadn't had a boyfriend that time? Would you still be here by my side? It sucks not knowing. Craig is my favorite guy that i've liked before (even considering that I haven't met him before) mostly because hes so sweet but brutally honest at the same time....he knows how to make a girl feel good. And it saddens me. I think the real kicker for me that made me like him more than everyone else was that when i was going out with a boyfriend and craig didn't know, he flirted with me and then he asked me if i had a boyfriend (i hate mitch more because of this) and i told him yes cuz if i said no that would be cheating (DAMMIT). so i said yes i had a boyfriend. And i swear i could feel his depression even though were were like 400km's apart. I felt so sad that night, and nothing (even the fact that i had my own boyfriend) seemed to make it go away. And then, like a week later my ass of a beau broke up with me because he didn't htink long distance relationships would work (FUCK THAT SHIT he KNEW i had to leave at the end of the summer so why'd he FUCKING BOTHER) i was like brutally devestated and my brothers and cousin tried to drag my out of my bed and my cousin got me to dry my eyes and come on the computer where she then proceeded to called up Craig (at 3AM) and told him to come online. I dont know if she told him that i needed cheering up or whatnot but he came on line and did just that. At 4AM i stopped crying and was laughing again because he picked up right where he left off and i loved him for that because he made me happy for that hour. And that was the end. Pretty much after that night i never talked to him again....or at least the same Craig anyways. I can't possibly believe that I miss him this much. How can I possibly miss someone that I've never met before. I mean i dont even know his last name, even. It makes me sad because I can't even forget about him, every where i go i see signs with Dr. Craig's or Jenny Craig, or shit like that....my fucking ex's MIDDLE NAME was Craig. how....please somebody tell me HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY....(sigh). Could you at least come back online once and leave me a message or something? Tell me your married, Tell me your gay, Tell me something....anything so that i can move on....all i really wanted to know was what could have happened.