this is my gangster hat

when i wear it i become gangsta'. yo.
I dunno if its a good thing or a bad thing that i'm recovering so quickly from these bouts of depression. you figured its bad that one day i'm super good and then the next day i'm mashing my fists into a bloody pulp. (but not really) soo... my hand is feeling a lot better, though if i push certain spots it still hurts....obviously. but yeah. Anyways man thought for the day that i had. While in artH class today me and my friend michelle were talking and she told me that she was getting excited because she was getting married! Shes only 3 years older than me and i thought that was really exciting. Shes the first person/friend of mine that's around the same age as me and is getting married. Wow there was so many thoughts that went through my head when she said that. I mean she told me her and her fiance have been going out for like 6 years now and so i guess its about time. But it was still kinda shocking. I mean aside from katherine i dont think i know anyone else within my age range (give or take 10 years) who is in the jist of getting married anytime soon. And i guess i can't say that ppl are getting married younger these days, because my parents and older cousins all got married around 24ish too. So yeah. Its kinda funny/creepy because i said 2 my brothers last month, that a year from now i could be married if just tomorrow i happened 2 meet a guy and he happened to be my future husband.....So basically i dont know what the point i'm trying 2 get to.... Something along the lines of marriage and being young when it happens. I dunno, maybe because i hear so much about ppl getting married it seems so common, but when suddenly one of my friends gets married it sinks in that i could be that someone someday too....i mean, i think about like stupid things like wedding dresses and where i'd want to have my wedding and stuff, but i never really 'really' thought about what would happen if i ever got proposed to. Like, i always say how i'd want to get married so that i'd have someone to be with most of the time, but actually when i think about it deeper, it makes me kind of nervous.... woya, but yeah, apparently i'm missing an extremely important part of marriage which happens to be a man, so it looks like i wont be getting married anytime soon mates. And if i do i'm sure you'll be the first to know.....

bad week

this week really has been a pretty bad week actually. I haven't had one of these since highschool and my first year of university. My hand has bloated to almost twice its size and i think i broke some blood vessels, or whatever. I dunno if its better or worse that rather than screaming i now like to beat myself up. I was kinda hoping i'd hit something hard enough to break a few bones and then maybe somebody would feel bad. I dunno if maybe i was just being selfish or what. But i'll give you guys the low down. I had bought a bunch of cards a while back ago (because there was a special) to give 2 ppl for upcoming events. ie mothers day fathers day, when cathy leaves.... So there was like....5 cards in there. I was trying 2 find the mothers day card today so that i could get my dickjob brothers 2 sign them so i could mail out the card and the present when i finished buying all the stuff. And so i remember when i bought the cards that i had left them in the bag by the side of the sofa. But they weren't there when i went 2 look for them, so i looked elsewhere.... EVERYWHERE else. And i couldn't find them anywhere. So i started getting a little frustrated. And i asked my brothers and they said they never touched it. So i looked some more, for like 2 hours. And still nothing. So i started getting really frustrated, shouting out a *FUCK...mumblemumble* everyso often. And my 2 brothers did nothing, just sat and watched tv. So i kept on looking and i was OBVIOUSLY pissed off because they were sitting on their asses doing nothing, while i was looking for a pack of cards, more specifically the mothers day card so that THEY could sign it and take credit for a gift that they had absolutely nothing to do w/. Finally i got so angry that i yelled at them and said something like *I NEVER TOUCHED THOSE CARDS SO I SHOULD STILL BE ABLE TO FIND IT UNLESS YOU GUYS MOVED THEM* and they didn't move and i said *ITS NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU GUYS AREN'T GOING TO FUCKING HELP ME LOOK* and then terence (who btw is really REALLY pissing me off these few months) said *Well maybe if you picked up your 'garbage' once in a while we wouldn't throw it away* and i said *GARBAGE, IS YOUR FUCKING MOTHERS CARD CONSIDERED GARBAGE?!????* and by that time i was so angry that i started screaming and punching walls and floors like crazy. Good lord, when ever that happens to me (which hasn't been very recently) i get so angry and i have so much trouble breathing. Its times like that that i really scare myself because i really can't control what i do and i basically feel no pain.... which might be a good thing eventually.... but anyways so i went into my bathroom and cried a lot and hurt myself some more. And i was really really upset because i really wanted 2 talk 2 someone but i didn't know who i could call. I wanted to call jess but she changed her cell phone and i didn't know it off by heart yet. I guess its probably bad that i keep all this stuff inside me, but call it habit or something but i just can't voice it. I called my mom while i was in the bathroom and i think i really really really wanted 2 tell her how upset and sad i was feeling but i just couldn't get the words out. And whenever i got close my voice started to crack and....and then i'd just stop. What bothers me really the most i think is not just that i'm starting to turn back into my old pain inflicting, depressed self. But also the cause of it. When i was younger....i'm not sure what really depressed me, but one of the reasons i couldn't bring myself to really kill myself was that i was worried about all the loved ones who i'd make sad. Now though, its actually almost like those loved ones are the ones who are making me depressed. My two brothers are so distant it seems and even though we live in the same household, we dont carry on coversations like we used to and we're not even close to being as close as we used to. I dont live w/ my parents anymore and my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents rarely see me anymore anyways. So it really feels like nobody will really care if i'm gone because i wasn't there in the first place. Whenever my grandparents or uncles call out, they always ask for terence or felix. And kinda sorta same w/ my dad. Oh god i feel so left out of my family right now. And its like i dont really know anyone else i can talk to. Jessica rarely talks to me anymore as it is. And iris has her own family out here, and cathy is always with her boyfriend. So really i dont know what i should do.....It really really makes me sad that this blog is turning back to the depressing blog that it originally used to be

....untitled

Sometimes I think people dont realize how short life really is until its to late. But also at the same time I think that whoever decides when its time for someone to pass on, whether they be god, lord or spirit, has a cruel sense of humour. Several years ago my close cousin lost her dad to a heart attack the night before fathers day and which was also the night before his birthday. Just today i recieved a letter from a friend informing that her mother had also passed away, 4 days before mothers day. I feel a pang of saddness in my heart when i hear news like this because the people who've lost their loved ones had they had a few more days would have been able to share a wonderful hopefully love filled day w/ that person. But even having said this, isn't it sad how we take one...ONE day out of three hundred and sixty five days to show someone how much you appreciate them? When you think about it, how come everyday can't be mothers day, or fathers day, or valentines day or whatever stupid day that has been commercially created? If everyday you woke up and said 'i love you' to everyone you care about, then you wouldn't have to feel guilty if the next day they weren't there for you to say it to.... Humans are foolish creatures sometimes and i often dislike being one. I have the opportunity to live 100 years if i stayed healthy and active. When i'm young i'll complain that life is hard and complicated and i wish i was older so i didn't have to worry about the future. But in the future when i'm 50-60+ i'll complain that life is to short and i'll wish i was younger so i could do the things that i never got to do. Life really is ironic. Sometimes when i'm faced w/ choices and paths to choose, i'll think of that. People tell me that i do stupid things sometimes and waste money, but i guess maybe i'm thinking that they are certain things that i've always wanted to do and when i'm older i can have the chance to say that *yes i did that before* and *i've been there before*. Even though at this moment there aren't to many *daring* things that i've done....but if i ever get faced w/ the oportunity to then hopefully i'll remember what i've just said, and do what i say i'll do.

blasphemy

In case anyone ever wonders, the titles of these posts are often random words that just pop into my head when i can't think of anything to say (which is what i often do/say in real life). Any ways. I just want to re-comment on these past few days. I have to say that a days outcome really does depend on how you want it to turn out. On monday i had a really bad day. But actually i think it was only bad because i let it turn out that way. If i tried i probably could have made it less unfavorable by just not thinking about it so much and looking at the bright side. I say this because on Wednesday i had a pretty much equally as bad day. But rather than let it get to me i just chose not to think about how bad it was. Rather i thought of other stuff like how much worse it could have been and how thankful i was that the latter didn't happen instead. And really that wednesday turned out a lot better than i could have wanted it to. But yeah, that was all i really wanted to comment on. Mind over matter i guess...or soemthing like that.... ;P

been awhile

Today I cried. I haven't cried in a really long time and since i pretty much only cry when i'm depressed it meant today i was depressed. It was an extremely shitty day today. So many past memories came flooding back to me today in the rain. When i was walking 2 the bank I started thinking of how much my brothers were jerks. And how this problem could have been easily solved if he had just takin me back home (5 mintues away) so i could have gotten my cheques. But rather than that he didnt. So i wasted 45 minutes, which led to the closing of the bank before i could get there. I was so sad when i was walking there because those feelings of being uncared for started emerging again. I thought about running away again. But i didn't know where i could go. And like usually it was pretty much useless because no one really notices when i run away depressed and also i never have anyplace to go. I thought about going to Iris' but then i figured it'd be quite for her and my brothers wouldn't care if i went 2 iris'. So then i thought of cathy, but then i figured she was with her boyfriend and i didn't want to intrude. So i was left w/ going nowhere like usual but back home. GOD I FEEL SO USELESS. i have absolutely no idea where i'm going in life, and when something fails i just make up an excuse and chose a different path. I dont want to admit failure but at the same time i dont want to dissapoint my dad who puts so much faith in me. I hate myself because i always feel so uselss. eeeer i dont want to go back to being what i used to be because it was horrible and i hated always crying and not being able to sleep and hurting myself and lying to my family. I hope this little burst of depression goes away soon because I've already started to do the crying and hurting myself bit and its only been the first day.

horrible horrible

These past few days have been really really crappy. Man i haven't had shitty days like this in a long time. First, on saturday, right after work this dirty business suit wearing man bummed 7 bucks offa me. I dont know how the hell he did but that fucker is going to burn in hell. It seriously pisses me off when shitheads like that seriously dont need the money and yet they still get it. And like, at least the people who really REALLY need it, they ask you once and if you say no they POLITELY say thanks anyways and walk away. This jerk stood there for like 10 mintues while i was waiting for the green light asking me friggen 50 times. And then after i gave him 4 dollars he seen my 5 dollar bill and asked for that AS WELL. and i dont know what the hell possessed me cuz i actually gave it to him. and then i walked away pissed off. and then the more i thought about it the angrier i got. By the time i got home i was super pissed off so i punched the brick wall. And when i was in the elevator i was still angry so i punched the metal wall. I woke up that night and my knuckles were swollen. Stupid jerk. Then on Sunday it was uber slow and i was waiting for 4oclock 2 come so that i could start my countdown for hometime. And right at 4 30 the other hostess called in and asked me 2 work for her. I guess once again that was my own fault for saying yes but i'm just trying 2 get some more hours/moolah. So there went my sunday. Today was equally as crappy. stupid cirque de soleil tix. all in all we have 3 tix and technically enough for everybody who wants 2 go....but... ah fuck its also a long complicating story. And then my brothers were going 2 go 2 claireview to take care of some condo investing business. I tagged along cuz i wanted 2 go 2 Michaels, but it ended up being farther away than i thought and my brothers only needed a few minutes 2 sign some papers so i just stayed in the car. Then i asked my brother if i could go 2 the bank 2 deposit my cheques so that id have enough money 2 pay for my tuition tomorrow. And then i realize that i had fucking taken my cheques out earlier today 2 check how much money there was altogether. So my other brother went 2 the bank and i was getting uber pissed off. After they went 2 futureshop 2 exchange something and i was geting EXTREMELY pissed off at this time cuz he was taking so long. When i finally got home it was past 8 and i got my cheques and started walking in the rain 2 the bank. And obviously when i got there it was fucking CLOSED. But at this point in time i had already figured that it was going to be closed. And since i had already cried all the way there i figured it was useless to cry anymore so i went 2 save ons and bought useless junkfood.

once again due to the unreliability of my internet....

....here is another post from a previous day,
April 5th. Deedle dooo, I love working in public areas because i get to see pretty men... *tee hee* hahaha Aaaah especially the guy w/ the big smile, hes so cute. Hohoo. oh doh, there was something i wanted 2 write in here but i have forgotten.... Although i do remember that today a guy around in his late 20's early 30's came in and ordered to go, and he looked like an older version of mitch. I was extremely creeped out. Especially when he kept on staring deeply into the depths of my soul. And then also again when he asked for my name and when i gave it to him he asked me if it was my real name.... that spells c-r-e-e-p-y, my friends. Aaaaah I heart gentlemen. And i want 2 say that i like guys that are a few years older than me....dunno why but thats what i feel. OH OH i remember what i was going to say now. So, today i was sleeping and i dreamt that i was back in highschool and that i had slept in and my ride had come 2 pick me up. And when i was in highshool if i took to long my friend would knock on the door and since i'm a light sleeper i would hear it and automatically know that i had slept in. So I jolted up and rushed around getting ready. I finally got to school when the school bell rang. But in reality it was my real house phone and it woke me up. I was supposed 2 work lunch today and so i really actually was late.... sigh. I think that i subconsciously knew that i was supposed 2 work today hence why i dreamt that i was going to be late.... hahaha thats extremely weird. But i thought it was neat. Anyhoo i'm going to sleep now i'm uber tired.

oh garfunkle

Hello fellow prisonmates.
so how is everybody? (i say that expecting someone 2 actually reply) WELP i just finished organizing my portfolio for submission tomorrow.....*WISH ME LUCK* hoya, 3rd times the charm right??? (please please please let me in) Yeaaaah, i was looking at the portfolio i submitted last year and BOY did i submit some ugly stuff.... hahah no variety either. I would like to say that my portfolio this time looks pretty decent....althought i have no idea what their expectations are so i could be completely wrong.... uuugh and then comes the 2 month wait.... sob sob. But anyways i have another work related story to tell everyboby. (actually 2 now that i think about it)
#1. We hired a new hostess at work, and coincedentially she used to work at my families restaraunt in ft mac. She (as my brother says) doesn't have much if any common sense. For example, she put an order of wonton soup in one of those styrofoam boxes (the ones where liquid can slosh out the sides). and amongst other stuff. But it was like 2 years ago so i was like *aaah she was young, and ppl change* so i didn't mention anything to any of my workers. But apparently my workmates figured it out on their own.... haha jkjk....kinda. apparently i've been missing some interesting days at work when she hostesses... hahah i'm mean. I dont really want 2 indulge to deeply into this story cuz it can go on for a really long time.... so onto the next anecdote
#2. So whoever has been keeping track of this blog since day 1 knows that i work as a hostess at a restaurant. (but since no one has i figured i should refresh those memories) As a hostess i also take care of any take out orders. Aaaaand so theres this guy who comes in every so often and orders food. And when i ask him for his name 2 put on his order he always tells me his name is 'bob'. (rather he says something like 'oh you can put down bob') And, it could be just me but i always felt that he was giving me a fake name. Not just because of the way he says it but also the tone of voice and how he pronounces his own name. (i feel like a psychologist) Buut he rarely comes in so i usualy forget about it. 'Except', last Thursday. When he came in, in his work uniform....GASP ITS THE UNIFORM, I HAVE A THING FOR MEN IN UNIFORMS DONT I?!??!! 'ahem' when he came in w/ his 'chef' uniform on and i was like *hey your actually pretty good looking* (of course i just thought that...) aaaand he told me his name was bob and then flashed me his 1000watt grin which i now this is really really cute cuz its like.... a full face grin. Yadda yadda end of that for a few days. And then on Saturday, low and behold he came in during lunch...to STAY... wooh aaaah. he asked for a table for 2 and if he could borrow the phone. and he called but no one picked up so i just took him 2 his table where he told me he was expecting his mother in 20 mintues (haha) And then like 15 mintues later a lady called in saying that our phone number was on her call display and that her son had probably called looking for her. She was like 'Yes i believe my son called looking for me, his names...* well i'll just say that its not bob. theres probably a reason why he doesn't tell his name to ppl like me for reasons like this....not to mention that i dont remember it....) and then i gave bob the phone and as i walked away and started thinking 'ha-haaa i know your real name' TeeHee i feel so special, so sneaky.... even though his mommy gave it away. Hohohoho i'll never look at you the same way again bob.

gangsta'

(This post was supposed to be yesterdays but my internet crashed before i could post it) Hey yo, C-dawg here. Hoy today was busy and i'm pretty tired. But i have, once again, a small anecdote to tell everyboby. So i was at work all day today and in the evening this young guy walks in (he actually looked like jacob hoggarth the lead singer from hedley!) and he comes up 2 me 2 order some to go. aaaand i was like *hi what can i do for you!.... (wow you smell heavily of pot mister!)* and he ordered 2 boats to go and some small random other stuff. Yadda yadda he comes back 20 mintues later 2 pay and he whips out this 'huge' wad of cash. (once again the pot-ish smell waifs over 2 me). So his bill was $77 something and he counted his moolah like the pro he was and gave me what i assumed 2 be $80 and i was like 'thanks do you need change?' and he went *um..no...er.. how much is that?* and i recounted it and i was like *oh theres $90 here* (taking two 5's 2 give back to him) and then he goes *oh thats fine thanks* And left. and i was like .... : -O (that is my face in shock btw). man i would KILL to have a drug dealer boyfriend. hahah....but not really. so yeah folks i got paid w/ drug money today! Hahaha. Ohoh a 2nd story i just remembered. There was a group of 6 ppl today that came in. And when they where finished they sent the one young guy up 2 pay (poor guy) and he was paying w/ debit, so i swiped his card yadda yadda. Didn't notice it when he GAVE me his card, but when i gave him the pinpad i noticed this ping pong ball sized protrusion from his wrist. Seriously, it looked like his wrist was broken like 5 times. And i really REALLY didn't mean to but it scared the living begeezus outta me and when i handed him the pinpad and seen it i went *here you g-UH-oo...* and i twitched a little. sob sob, i'm so mean.... sorry mister. Sigh, yeaaah well i think i should go 2 sleep now, i'm uber tired. I ironically have more shifts during exam week than compared 2 when i just have regular school... BOO-URNS.

fun fun

Hi sportsfans! Back again. I just have a little anecdote that i'd love to share w/ everybody. Today for some idiotic reason i decided to.... rollerblade to work. What is really idiotic is that i actually dont really know how to rollerblade. I can 'glide' and thats about it. My balance and grace on those babies are practically reduced to nil. So why i decided 2 go to work on those hell blades beats the living crap outta me. But anyways. So i strapped them on (completely forgeting the fact that i haven't rollerbladed in like 2 years, and that i also cannot stop, a very important thing to learn folks) Haaah, weeeell i guess i did think it over before because i actually planned my route 2 work. Rather than going straight to work via 110 Street and down the hill, i decided to go out to 109 street where i vaguely remembered there being not much of a hill. But apparently a minor decline is all that it takes to have me spiralling out of control... haha no i exagerated.... a little. Basically i started speeding up while going down 109. (funny cuz the ppl walking the opposite way prolly know i couldnt' stop and cleared this huge path....i should have just fell and saved face....) Anyways, i was coming up to Jasper ave, and realizing that the light was turning red and since i didn't want to run into the middle of traffic i opted for the next best thing.
To stop.
By crashing into a stop sign
yeah it was pretty funny now that i think about it. I practically winded myself. Whats even funnier is after i ran into the post, i just went on like nothing happened....*sigh* i came home later and found dollar sized red bruise on my knee... *s-II-gh* Rollerblades should have easier braking mechanisms....hahaha. Thats prolly about it. I told my workmates and they laughed...really hard. hahah which is what i'd do to if someone told me that story.

*gasp* oxygen at last

Ung, finally some breathing room. whoooo, i was waiting for this moment for a week now. I finished my Art H 209 exam today. aaaah. How well i did is another question. I'd guess that the first 3 qestions were pretty okay. The last one however i was totally not looking forward to. Crazy neighborhood. Not to mention that since it was the last question, my hand was sore and i only had 20 mintues it was basically an incoherrent jumble of scribbles and words that might or might not make sense..... sigh. I should be dead tired seeing as i got les than 2 hours of sleep last night, but i've been itching 2 write in you blog baby. *oh ye-ah* hahaha. These past few days were kinda depressing. Feel bad saying it but its true. Thursday was my first official sleep in day, and then i went 2 work. My grandparents came out again to see my cousin and her new baby and she had a month old party type thing, so that pretty much took care of friday. saturday i also worked, i feel pretty bad now because i ditched having dinner w/ my cousins because i had 2 study. But at the same time if i went i wouldn't have gotten any studying in. Sunday i went 2 work again and .... i think we went out for dinner.... can't remember. Monday.... did i go 2 work again?? yeah i did (bad because i seemed 2 have gotten more work shifts during exam week) went 2 work, got off early then went 2 the U 2 study and check out that 'neighborhood' for Q4. brisk walks are actually quite relaxing, i should do them more often. Then we went out for dinner (for shure this time). The 2 days before exams are always the greatest cuz i cram like a madwoman. Monday night i started 2 kick it into high gear, but since my usual study areas were not available (my room because grandparents were sleeping there, and the living room cuz tchow was watching full house and that was a distraction) So where did i go 2 study? The bathroom. Yes i took in a stool and my busy board lap desk thing and sat in the bathroom for 3 hours. Pretty sad eh? But at least you see the commitment i make. hahah. Tuesday was actually pretty crazy too. I managed 2 sleep in till 12 when i suddenly reembered i had 2 finish my report for DES 370. Well it was more add pictures and a title page the actual report was done awhile ago. I had 2 go 2 staples 2 photocopy the pictures and by the time i got home it was around 2ish. I was thinking of taking a nap but i actually decided not 2 and got in an hour worth of studying (that folks is amazing that i turned down sleep) I went 2 work were it was unbelievable SLOW. no idea, me and the 2 servers sat and folded chopsticks for almost 3 straight hours. Then it picked up around 8 which was horrible cuz i had 2 leave around 8 30 to go 2 the U and see my instructor. But my brother said he'd give me a ride so i decided 2 stay until 8 45. I called him then and he was like *i'm sleeping, take the train* Man i was so pissed off cuz i was going 2 be late. So i ran 2 the train station then ran 2 the studio where my instructor must have thought i was a beheamoth cuz i was so out of breath and red and sweating. hahah *sigh* what a last impression. Interview was the same as usual, I'm an idiot yadda yadda. hahah Pretty much jeff talking and me knodding my head. i dunno how come i can't think of anything 2 say 2 jeff even though i find that hes the instructor that seems 2 be the most understanding of students cuz of the age range and likes and disklikes. Buuuut thats just assuming.
OH! speaking of good looking guys. *hohoho* At work on Monday i swear to goodness that i seen somebody who looked like...craig(well actually i've never seen the guy in real life im so it was based on memory and foolishness) UNG i still get that floaty sensation when i see his name. (you bastard) But yes, so i seen this guy who looked like craig had he aged, which technically since the last picture i seen of him he has. Like he wasn't super pretty or anything and actually reminded me of those like....computer aging programs. But there was a resemblance/false hope. Hahah. But i was like *ah what are the chances, hes obviously not craig* And THEN ...while i was secretly watching hahah i noticed he was left handed.... GUH. Buuuut i tried 2 let it go, pure coincedence. And thats where i left it at. Although i would have loved 2 have been a creep and read the name on his credit card buuuut i didnt. (mainly cuz he paid w/ cash... hahah i AM a creep) sigh. Thats pretty much now for the escapades of corinna. Just gotta gun down my mandarin exam and its smooth sailing.....animethon come sooner!!

been a while

it sure has, its been so long *blogger.com* no longer appears in my address bar history..... *wow* Aaaanyum last day of classes today! whoo-haa-hoo. Kinda bitter sweet though, didn't really feel like last day. My design class didnt have an end of the year class party, although they did go 2 a bar. I think i might have went if i called LS out cuz shes a ppl person and a drinker, but iris seemed 2 the the first person i thought of.. ironic though cuz she hasn't finished classes yet.... but yeaaah. last day of classes today. aaaah i was waiting for today for the last few weeks now. Though i'm seriously not looking forward to my artH 209 exam in which i haven't attended class for a long time.... dang. Umm... these past few days i have been re reading all the manga that i have every bought and have completed the series. So far that is... CardCaptorSakura, Chobits, Paradise Kiss, and Sailor Moon. oooh every so often (mostly during the summer) i like to dust them off and read the whole series. I finished reading CCS in 2 days.... how sad. hahaha. (wow i have a lot of girly manga.) Ooop oop. looking forward to the animethon this year again. Hopefully i can go. I'm sure i've mentioned this before but i'm going to be ANBU Kakashi from Naruto. I'm going to be a hot man... YE-AH hahaha. oooh right in design class we were making dog houses to auction off for the SPCA. Sounded like a super fun project. I think i would have preferred working on my own, but w/ the limited amount of time i'm grateful for the group. The 3 of us got along pretty well (much more than H & W i think) but i think its cuz not only did we get the choice in choosing partners but also cuz the 3 of us are pretty carefree. Um... but i do have 2 say i dont like working in groups cuz i always feel so bad if i do soemthing wrong (which oh boy did i ever) I seemed 2 have made a lot of mistakes during this project... sigh sigh. I'm sure L & A think i'm totally incompetent. daaaaw. But oh well i tried my almost hardest. Um... i'm just thinking now about when i should have my interview thing w/ jeff.... originally i signed up for the one at 9-9 15 so that i could go right after work. BUT i looked at the list thing before i left and theres a huge gap between the 2nd last person and me so i might leave early on W and just see jeff then. jargon five. I think thats all...Ooooh no wait. I bought a plant last sunday. A...um... i forget the name of the flower but they're my new 2nd favorite flower. Its those flowers that look like daisys but have a lot more petals and come in like white, red, pink, and i think orange, and the stems are really thick and sometimes the florist puts them in a big straw so they dont bend... but yeah i bought a red plant of those flowers. Its sitting on my cpu desk, and it makes me happy when i look at it... aaaaaw. I want 2 call it Mr. Ukki (for no apparent reason... hohoho)

hoy-a

wow, first it was a week of non stop posting, now its a week of stop posting. hahah i really actually have nothing to say, i'm just trying to kill....5 mintues and 52 seconds. I've been on this rampage of video game speed run's. Its so f'ing amazing when some crazy kid can beat super mario in less time than it takes me to brush my teeth. hahah. I watched some guy beat mario 64 in 21 mintues....best 21 mintues of my life....i have however lost all urge 2 play mario 64 again. hahaha. uuum....so it was busy at work today...stranger for a tuesday, but it was prolly cuz we said the magicall words of *i dont think its going to be busy today* huuuur. Um... well our dog house in ID is coming along okay, cept i felt pretty bad for getting that angle wrong on our house... sigh....i've lost all math skills....why oh why.... Um... oh yeah! As of 2morrow i officially have only one week of school left. Boy oh boy this year seemed 2 go by uber fast. I can't wait to waste my summer away!!!! huuurr... come on super mario video hurry.....DAMMIT MY VIDEO JUST FROZE.... HUUUUUUUURG I WAITED 20 MINTUES SO I COULD SEE PRINCESS BEAT SUPER MARIO 2 IN 5 MINTUES..... HELP ME JEBUS!!!!
maaan, im depressed now....sigh. if anyone out there can beat and super mario game in an amazingly short time...*hey hows it going...we should hook up* .... ; )

yo dawg

C-cho, here how goes it. Arg matey. this ones prolly gonna be another short li'l post. I have a mandarin quiz 2morrow which i am extremely not looking forward too. oh snap. OH i remember what i wanted 2 say now. *hoho* i seen mister good lookin' again today. haaar, i forgets if i posted about him before. (just have 2 cut in, i'm listening 2 the main theme from FFVII right now and i just have to say that i absolutely love this part even since i was young.....*sigh* so beautiful) oh but right! hahah the pretty man came into my work place again, haha hes so lonely he always comes in by himself....but he sure is pretty! *wink wink nudge nudge* hahaha i have absolutely no idea what that means. But, i should prolly go 2 bread, gotta go 2 the U early 2morrow so i can register for china 202 next year and hopefully get some moolah back from el senoir der. Tra lalaaa.

Re-arrange, re-arrange

I was super bored today, so i re arranged my bed room.... hahah. It was so out of the blue, i went 2 put my manga's away and i got a little angry cuz i couldn't get 2 my side table cuz my bed was so close 2 the wall and there was already abox in the way. so i was like *ARG this would be so much better if my sidetable and cpu desk switched places* and then a lightbulb went on and i spent the next 2 hours barricaded in my room moving stuff around. hohohoh. hahaha. I love walking into a room right after you've re arranged it and your like *WTF...ooooh yeaaaaah* hahaha. huuurg, couple nights ago i was lying in bed bored and so i decided 2 see how long i could hold my breath for. hahaha and then coincedentially that night i dreamed i flew up in a spaceship and we had to evacuate and the only way i could stay alive was by holding my breath till i entered earth's atmosphere. and if i breathed the pressure would crush my body. hohoho man it was actually a pretty scary dream if i think about it cuz i was thinking that i'd die....yowzers. haaarg anyways thats all for now. this entry was just meant to kill some time hahah.

ja- jumb-oo

ho hum, i just came back from rum jungle w/ my workmates. hohoho. pretty decent night tonight. except that i am to believe that i am allergic 2 alcohol : ( I had...what 2 drinks and a shot of tequilla. and i got all red. like red *everywhere* my hands and feet are pretty bloated right now and i 20 mintues ago i was having a little problem breathing. hohohoh dangerous..... hahaha dangerous or CRAZ-EE hohoho. anyways i'm gonna go pass out now, i hope my lungs dont stop working.

Magical Post Number 1-0-1 !!

I should get a prize for updating this so frequently. Hohoh seriously i thought this blog was gonna be a phase in my life, like showering. HA no kidding about that one....seriously.... Any hoo, another quick note i would just like to note. Jacob Hoggard is one uber hot mofo. Dear lord, hahah he sure is purdy. mmm. tee hee. Welp thats all for today folks.

swoon factor #2

Oh i forgot 2 mention in my previous post. I noticed something else today while i was at work about members of the opposite sex. I mentioned before that when i find out a guy can speak multiple languages it ups his 'hotness'. Another factor that can add to that is how a guy dresses. I knew before but today i just re-remembered at how attracted i am to guys who dress well. i dont mean like, blingin' expensive brand name clothes, i mean like, crisp dress shirts and black pants. Oh dear lord, this pretty decent man came in today by himself wearing like a black business trenchcoat style jacket and i was like *meh*. Then he sat down and took off his jacket and he was wearing like a striped light pink dress shirt (w/ the top 2 buttons undone....) and black pants, and i was like *Hell-OO* Hahaha, i have weird taste in men. I like punk/emo makeup-y men, and then i like business,well dressed, tie wearing men. HOH if i found a 9-5 office working man by day who's past times include writing emo music and going to night clubs, HOH i'd never have 2 day dream again! haha....
ARGH ITS 12 30, GOTTA GO BREAD

if i were a guy, i'd be pretty good lookin'

yo, haha serious about the title there. cathy sent me some of the pics she took from NY and theres this one pic where i seriously look like her ex. I set it as my display pic and she said so too. siigh.
Oh right, so on saturday me T and Cathy went 2 the mad hatter's ball. We got there, and this lady dressed as the white rabbit (just like me) waved at us and said "Nice costume ladies!" (in a deep deep man's voice). whoo-ee. Hahah, so then the 3 of us sat down and i looked at the program and noticed who this party was put together by.... "The Pride Centre of Edmonton" (they're symbol thinging was a rainbow happy face....) WHOO-EE hahah so T just happened 2 bring me to a gay party. Hahah but it was pretty fun. There were drag queens there and drag Alice was HOT hoho seriously he had 'nice legs'. I'm super jealous....
Oyah, someone left me a comment on my blog today! Hoh, if i do remember correctly this is the first comment i've recieved that isn't A) from my friends, B) from myself, or C) from some guy trying 2 sell life insurance. Thanks dude, you've made my day. I visited his blog page 2 check out his stuff and i laughed hard at this one entry he made about teaching grade 3/4 gym class and the need of wearing 'protection' against flailing limbs (especially considering the heights of these kids) Mwa-haa. i laughed at this too: "I once saw a blind man trip over his seeing-eye-dog and I laughed so hard I almost puked. And it wasn't like I was a child - I was probably in my early 20s. Here I come, Satan!" (Making a comment about evil things hes done) It's okay spoonman, i once knocked over an entire display of wooden jewelry boxes at a discount store. aaaaah.
I got my visa (rather found should be the correct word) today. $1300 all in 7 days. pretty sad ey? hahah i'd be so broke if i ever lived in NY. To top things off, after i payed for my statement, I came home from work and went shopping on the net. So sad. i really really want these 2 perfumes. The first one is ralph laurens....well...'ralph' spray. I smelt it somewhere before few years ago and i thought it was really pretty and everytime i smell it again i still thing its really pretty....sigh why didn't i buy you in NY?? The second perfume i want is 'memoirs of a geisha' by fresh. I actually have forgotten how it smells like but when i smelt it in NY it was really nice too. i'm dying 2 smell it again because i remembered it smelled pretty....sigh why didn't i buy you in NY?? haaaarg. aaaanyways, i'm gong 2 bed now. LOOK its only 12AM!! maybe if i hop in bed right now i'll fall asleep before 4!!

pretty men.

(Shortest post ever today.) Mainly because i only have one thing i want to note, which i will embellish on in a later entry....
*Young men in drag are H-O-T*