I would say that's what I'm stuck on and hurt about the most.
That I feel like I lost my best friend, even though I barely know you.
I liked you a lot as a person too, and that is the main reason why I ended up liking you more than a friend.
The thing is you kind of treat people "you like a lot as a person" pretty shitty. The difference in conversations I had with you when you apparently liked me romantically and now is remarkably different. If you had talked to me the way you talked to me now, I would not have tried to keep a friendship going.
I enjoyed greatly our walks and chats because of the conversation you were able to provide. You're smart and weird and I really could have done just that without any sort of romance. But you were the one who made the first move, so I asked if you were interested, and then you suddenly retracted it without saying anything. So yeah, I'm pretty fucking hurt and confused.
I said to you you felt like a puzzle piece that fit really well. Talking to you literally feels like talking to a friend who's known me my entire life. Like I am meant to know you because we got along so well and conversation was so easy. Everything you send and suggest to me is almost always spot on and I just wanted that part to continue.
I just wanted you to stick around as a friend to talk to, but it feels so forced with your lack of interest in any sort of communication with me. Even as just friends I don't think that's how friends treat each other.
I dunno. But I'm done now I think. I don't know why I'm trying so hard to hold onto you. I just don't want to lose what I thought was an amazing friend. I'm just holding onto the memory of the 2 weeks were you were nice to me and the more I think about it the more I think that might not be who you are. I just need to let this go. I'll probably eventually reach out to you again when I've forgotten everything. Or need car help. Or never. I dunno.
