But ya'll never choose me :(
I have a crush on Supercrush again. GAH. Happens every year after he breaks up with his girlfriends. It's either that or I like hanging out when it's just him and not a group of people. It's like a date but without the gf/bf strings.
Gah....
I noticed it developing during Victoria Day Long Weekend, when B asked me to go to Canmore with him and his friends. He kinda seemed to watch out for me when I was off my kilter.
Soooooo. During the July 1st Long Weekend I went out with Supercrush and Polish Guy and Polish Guys friend. I ended up being the only girl there that night and.... I dunno, I still act weird around Polish Guy. That's his fault for turning out to be a dick. Anyways I'm kinda dancing doing my own thing sometimes he comes up to dance with me.... but not really..... I dunno. Later on in the night he's getting pretty tipsy. He comes up to actually dance with me when Aerosmith's Don't Wanna Miss a Thing song comes on. He gives me a big hug and lifts me off the floor. My skirt lifts up.... I flash the entire bar..... Great. I'm kinda Happy, but I know he's just tipsy. Maybe about half an hour later I turn around and I see him making out with a girl on the dance floor.
I quickly look away.
I continue dancing and tell my self. Brush it off. Brush it off. Brush it off.
I see him leave the club holding the hand of a girl.
Brush it off. Brush it off. Brush it off.
I'm kinda sad. Of course. But Polish Guy gets kicked out of the bar and that's the end of the night. Except everyone wants to go eat. B asks if I wanna go and I say sure, him and I walk off to his car and he drives us to All Happy.
I post something on the car ride there to IG/FB:
One Day Someone is Going to Hug You so Hard That All of Your Broken Pieces Will Stick Back Together Again.
We get to All Happy first and grab a table while waiting for everyone to get here B says "I can't believe I didn't get a girl's number tonight. EVERYBODY got a girls number tonight. Did P(olish Guy) get a girl's number?!!!" And I say, he probably did because he made out with a girl. B is ecstatic. Polish guy get's here and B goes "YOOOOOOOO, you made out with a girl ?!!!! NICE !!!" and goes for a fist bump. I'm pretending not to pay attention but I can hear Polish Guy sounds a little uneasy, "....well yeah, but it was nothing, I saw her making out with a lot of guys after". And then he refused to fist bump B. And then maybe like 5 minutes later his other friend goes, "Oh, so and so was there, you like her right, did you get her number?" Again I'm pretending not to pay attention, but I can see him out of the corner of my eye wave his hand like Don't wanna talk about it right now. And he's pretty quiet for the rest of the night.
After we wrap up at All Happy, B goes to give us a ride home. There are 3 big guys and me and I know it is not gonna work if I sit in the front seat of B's 2 door Jeep. So I sit in the back seat with Polish Guy and his friend. Polish guy does not let me sit on the outside even though I tell him I get off first. He pretends to grab my hand.... is kinda chatty. B pulls up to my condo but Polish guy doesn't budge to let me out. So, I do what any normal independent girl will do and I climb out through the middle and over the front seat. Polish Guy laughs and says "I see your buuuuuuuuutt !!!" and I'm pretty embarrassed because I totally forgot how immobile this dress makes me. I just wave bye and Polish Guy shouts back at me "It is a very pretty butt !!!"
And... that kinda cancelled out the bummed out feeling.... Even though G told me I was letting him off the hook for being a whore. :S
Saturday rolls around and B calls me up and asks if I wanna go hang out around Whyte. Sure ! I tell him I accidentally flashed half the bar and P & T yesterday and he say's he's jealous. We walk to Café Mosaics and sit down, when his parents text him and ask if he wants to join for lunch. But we just ordered, so I suggest to get the food from Mosaics to-go and meet his parents at wherever they are. And that is what we do. B pays for my meal and we meet up with his mom and dad at Urban Diner. I really like his parents. They're just so chatty and really fun and easy going. It reminds me of my family before I-don't-know-what happened. His mom keeps bugging him about his dating life and when he's gonna get married. I'm kinda jealous because they are so open. Anyways, his dad pays for the meal, I say thank you and we take off. On the way back to B's car he says "Either my parents really like you, or they really want me to get married." I can feel the crush developing.
That night I go out again. And.... I'm a dummy but I get really dressed up. Dress, Heels, Make up and I put on Long Hair. (In my defense I had just helped B assemble a dozen curtains and didn't have time to shower/do my hair/become ungreasy). B comes to pick me up and says I look really nice. I literally want the Polish Guy to eat his heart out.
But of course, I don't even register on his radar. He looked right past me and didn't even acknowledge me. In fact. He leaves to go to another bar and I don't see him for almost the rest of the night. And I just sit there high as a kite, dumbfounded..... Anyways, B tells me to come dance, so I dance. It's a weird night. I really don't want to go home so B keeps me out. We go to someone else house but the plan fails, he drives me back home and says to me "You look really nice tonight, I'm really surprised nobody hit on you." Crush develops further. Is he just being nice? But so as I'm about to get out of the car Polish guy texts him and wants to keep partying. So. We all go to B's place and watch a movie. High High High. Polish Guy still barely says a word to me. Everyone eventually starts passing out and B tells us all to go home. As we are all leaving I hold the door open for all the guys. (To me, this is a very normal thing for me to do). No big deal, everyone files through...... Except Polish Guy. I'm waiting for him and turn around and he is standing there because he still refuses to let me hold the door open for him. A habit of his since the first time I met him. So he tells me to go first, and I do. I'm about to walk home because I'm just a few blocks away, and they all tell me no... yadda yadda.... so I just catch a ride with them. As I get out of the car and walk up the stairs Polish guy shouts at me.
HEY. Have a good night.
And I say bye.
Such a completely different guy from the day before. I'm kinda bummed :(
Now it's a couple weeks later.
I'm out with J playing Tennis. I get a tag on FB and find out Supercrush got his nose broken while taking his Belt Test. He can't drive his vehicle home because the doctor gave him morphine and wants to see if I'm free to drive him back. I kinda caught the message late and someone else has helped him out so I let time pass. When J and I wrap up I send B a message asking if he wants me to drop off some food to him. He says he already ate but he could go for a coffee. I reply, "I was thinking you were incapacitated and might need food. If you are alright then I might stop over later on, then." He calls me a silly girl. (Which actually I find very endearing!) I'm coming back dwtn when he tells me to hurry up because Polish Guy is on the way down to pick him up. So..... I basically drop all my groceries and extra bags off at home and scoot over in my sweaty work out clothes and shiny face. By the time I get there Polish Guy is already there and invited B and me over to his parent's place for dinner..... I really shoulda just gone home by that time, but I didn't and I tagged along. Polish Guy's mom and grandma are so cute. I'm more jealous that my family isn't like this. I'm beginning to realize maybe my family is the abnormal one..... P's gramma tells him that I'm really pretty (even though I'm in gym clothes and have sweated my eyebrows off). I'm super flattered and feel kinda happy. Everybody knows grandma's don't butter things up !!! Anyways, I was super quiet because it was a lot of new people in an uncomfortable surrounding. All the guys decide to go out again and I do not wish to go because I have no eyebrows (also I just didn't want to go out really). All the boys go to Prive and I just walk home. 'If you guys go to Common, lemme know and I'll come out'. I was actually serious and got semi-ready but by 1:30am I figured they weren't going anymore so I just changed and went to bed.
I'm starting to get the feeling that maybe I ruin their 'Boys Nights'. So I think I might stay in a bit more now. It's not like it's that fun anyways. Seeing my 2 crushes hit on girls and sometimes make out with them. I can't drink alcohol and I can't afford food. Why am I doing this anyways ?!!!
And so I return to my original crush, Supercrush. We did originally meet on a dating website. He's the one that reminded me. And he did try to kiss me on his birthday a few years ago. Aaaaaaaah aaaaaaaah I don't know! Sometimes he says things to me that make me like him again.
I've been told I'm a good kisser.
Is that something you tell female friends?
Yesterday I was in Sunday denial. Refused to believe the weekend was over and that I would have to go back to work today. So I texted him to see if he wanted to hang out. He initially said no but then his plans got cancelled and we ended up going to the U to catch Pokémon. (Don't roll your eyes at me!). We walked around for almost 2 hours catching Pokémon. We kinda wandered off the usual path and he said, "This would be a nice place to take someone on a date" and then "Oh, this is where I first kissed Nara." The worst part is, I refuse to DL Pokémon Go so I kept watching over his shoulder/ leaning in really closely to see the screen and it flashed in my mind how awesome it would have been if he just leaned over and kissed me while I was doing that......
ACK !!! I think I'm just over thinking things. I always manage to screw things up !! PBC, UPS Man, Polish Guy. I love having B as a friend, single or not. I dunno what I would do if we stopped being friends....
We went out for dinner after at my suggestion and when the bill came we were gonna split it, but the server forgot and just rang everything on my credit card so I just paid for dinner. I kinda wanted to but wasn't sure, so I just took it as a sign. I think he kinda felt bad after because he mentioned it a few times, but we went for ice cream after and he paid for that.
Oh nooooooooooo. I think I might do something stupid again.
CRAP.
