It's a bit calmer than I thought I would be.
That's good I guess.
Mom and Dad are temporarily staying with me because of the fire in Fort McMurray. Thats 3 fire evacuee's that have moved into this 850 sq/foot condo in under a year.
Fire is just not my friend.
Somewhat funny because being burned alive was one of my worst fears as a child.
May was a real whirlwind. I took one week off from the FH before I started my new job. I thought I would get to tidy up the condo and run errands, tie up loose ends and just relax. That didn't happen because my parents ended up coming up.
When I heard they were getting evacuated and saw images of my hometown on fire I felt really weird. It was sentimental. Recognizing landmarks and places and signs and buildings. I was really worried for my parents because they were asked to pick up my cousins and also 2 distant relatives who were non stop complaining the entire drive up to their evacuation site. I remember asking my mom if they had enough fuel, and my mom said yes, but they were running low on food. I remember thinking, I wish they didn't pick up the 2 older people. I just thought how they were eating up the food and probably stressing out my dad. I wished they weren't there.
I watch too many zombie outbreak shows.
Anyways. They made it to one of the oilsand evacuation camps and stayed there a couple days before being flown out to Edmonton.
I remember being really happy and emotional to see them.
And then all the things. All the Things. There were just so many people and things and noises at the condo. I couldn't go into a room without hearing talking, or the tv, or the radio, or my mom complaining or nagging. There was so much stuff everywhere. My mom was hoarding toothpaste and shampoo and deodorant and razors. Stuff that would take even a family months to use. But when I tried to find her clothes or bought her things she would yell. I just wanted a quiet place. Even B and T asked me if I was okay because I just didn't want to talk when I saw them.
But. Things are a lot better now. My mom's helping clean up (what she can) and things have kinda settled down. They new job is really really good too. I like it so far. It's kinda slow and boring sometimes and I know they won't load me up with work because I'm new and a student, yadda yadda yadda, but it's way WAY less stressful than the funeral home. Super ironic, because I thought it would be about the same. The learning curve isn't as steep and there are a lot of people I can ask for help and questions. And the huge bonus is I haven't had any anxiety yet. No jolting awake in cold sweats and racing hearts at 4am.
So yeah, work is good ~
And then there's the Pole. Stupid Polish guy. I hate you. But you smell so GD nice.
I don't remember if I've mentioned anything but B tried to set me up with his Polish friend. There was a big Asshole Incident in January and then the Nice Guy Incident in March, and then then I Have a Crush on You Incident in April, and then the Asshole Incident II in May.
*sigh*
Long story short I thought he was interested in me because he would always come to see me and buy me lunches or dinners and we would go for walks at night time and he wouldn't let me go home. A couple times we went out clubbing and he would hold my hand while I was tipsy, and we re-enacted the scene from Crazy Stupid Love and then I started liking him.
And of course because I started liking him it went downhill from there. Inevitable, right.
He started ignoring me and stopped seeing me. I asked him to come to a club for my friends bday and he ignored me and went to another one instead. I nosedived and cried that night and when I asked B why he did that to me, B replied:
P doesn't want to date you, I think he wants to sleep around.
I felt so sad. This was exactly the opposite of what Polish Guy had said to me. And kinda the reason I liked him. He was a super old fashioned gentleman. At least that's what he told me too. Always held the door for me, offered his hand when I was going down stairs, gave me hugs and woulda kissed my hand had I let him. But, it all sounded like a lie after Asshole Incident II. Why didn't he say something to my face instead of ignoring me? Such a jerk. I ended up texting him a long message couple days later and then he called me and said there was a misunderstanding and he wanted to see me to clear things up. For some reason when I heard that I felt relieved. He was just going to tell me I misunderstood things and buy me an ice cream.
But of course that's not how my life rolls. He told me B conveyed the wrong idea to me. It wasn't that he didn't want to date me, specifically. It was just that he decided he didn't want to date, period. He was too busy and yadda yadda yadda. The rest of the conversation was a blur. I was still pretty 'blah' from my parents being evacuated. He walked me home and kept rubbing my back and telling me to smile and trying to cheer me up, but I just had no emotion. Why am I even surprised this happened, I kept thinking. I should have seen it coming. He even gave me the whole You are so smart and beautiful/I just don't have time to date - schpeel. Even right now, 2 weeks later, I don't know how to take that conversation. Whatever he was trying to say, I took it as I'm not interested in you. I haven't texted him and he hasn't attempted to text me either. I would have been really sad, except a couple days later my parents came out and that really helped distract me. I guess I should say 'Thanks' for catching me.
I did see him this Saturday at The Common though. N was in town and she really wanted to go to Golden Era, and I guess he was there for another friend's bday. He did come up to say Hi to me and said I looked nice, and later on he came over to dance. I still can't get over how good he smells so of course I was a little nervous. But my heart still hurts and I'm still a little mad at him so I was pretty Jerk-ish to him. He left without saying bye to me, so who knows.
If someone wanted to stay in your life, They would make the effort to.
