Sometimes a small step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
And I just thought how happy I am that I feel like I took that step. And then I started wondering how I got here and remembered Ponyboy. I thought I it was totally him. He was really the turning point for me. It wasn't even like it was a good outcome but meeting him really shook things into perspective. Yeah he turned out to me an asshole but in the end he made me see how negative and self conscious I had become and after he stopped talking to me I feel like I snapped out of my slump and tried really really hard to be more positive. Sometimes I think I'm so glad I met him and that the things unfolded exactly the way they should have. It was painful but I feel like it happened for a reason and I was totally meant to meet him so I would find the right path again.
And this comes to my final note. When Ponyboy messaged me on POF for the first time, my reply to him was something like 'Hi, I have an incredible urge to reply back to you and I'm not sure why.....' I know why now, but I'm not sure who was doing the urging. Myself? Or someone watching out for me?
