Waiting is torture I tell you.
I miss Dave. or at least I'm pretty sure I miss him. I'm constantly clutching my phone hoping to see him message me. And I stay off Facebook so I won't see his status updates and see that hes doing awesome and better without me. Next time I feel a slump coming on I need to pinpoint what I think about and decipher if its exactly Dave I miss, or if I just miss the company. I feel so silly because I'm pretty sure I'm waiting for him to come around...... and the big problem with that is 'What if He Doesn't Come Around'? And even then, the thing I want the most is for Dave to say 'I Miss You Too'. But then what? Think of everything thats happened and the way he's treated you, and they way his friends treated you. Would I just act like nothing happened and everything is okay? No, I probably wouldn't be able to let it go. How Daisy ignored me and how his friends ignored me. And how much pain Dave put me through. I don't even know if I can be friends anymore. Because if Dave is still in my life I think I will still miss him. And I don't want my heart to feel this pain forever. Dave's messaged me a few times last week and I didn't reply back. When I saw his text's it made me feel like he missed me. But I didn't want to find out he didn't, so I just ignored them. I want to talk to him and see him, but I know thats the last thing I should do. Really I need distance from him. So I can forget about how happy he made me. I need to realize though, that I was a good girlfriend. I did lots for him, and took care of him, and tried to help him save. If Dave doesn't feel like an asshole for doing what he did to me, then he is an asshole. The fact that he and his friends were able to forget me so quickly and not feel bad after breaking up, then he wasn't the one. And thats what I don't need. And if Dave does realize what he did to me was horriible, then maybe I'll be okay. So, just like Cathy, I'll be better off either way.
Now believe it C.
