i just have on thing left to say....

....thank you....
I wrote a confession yesterday. And i debated sending it or not. I opted not to. and i'm grateful....i guess. I still woulda liked to have gotten it off my chest. But whatever. So there was a China crew reunion today. A lot of people went, and I was happy to see everyone. I sat with 'him'.....yeah. I never know what to say. But it was okay. I found out....that... he has a new girlfriend.... Unng yeaaaah........ Haha, i'm actually doing pretty okay. I think I'm doing better now that I know too.... I can stop thinking about him now. haha. Because I dont go for guys that aren't single.... for obvious reasons. haha...... But yeah.... I'm glad i found out....
is it still wrong if I ask for that Scratchy doll he won for me though? ....*sigh*....

One day I will send this to you, instead of keeping it bottled up inside.

This is the day where you discover that Corinna is crazy
I'm getting overwhelmed with stuff right now and this is one of the things that has been bothering me for the longest time now. I honestly dont even know where to start....
For the first 2 weeks in China, i bet I didn't even know your name and honestly we didn't even really talk till maybe the last few weeks.... So I dont even understand why it bothers me this much. When I got back to Canada and seen you sent me an email I was really happy. I have absolutley no idea why. Okay. No. thats a lie. I was happy because I liked you a little, and was surprised that you wanted to have coffee. Those next few days in BC before i got back to Edmonton I started to worry because.... I'm weird. I often don't know what to say or how to act around people, and I'm akwardly goofy. I was worried that what has always happened to me was going to happen again. Every single person who's every asked me out for coffee or lunch or whatever ends up meeting me for 2 hours, discovers I'm crazy, and never talks to me again. I'm not even exaggerating that part. Its really degrading, and it makes me feel worthless. It hurts because people think that after a couple hours they've discovered all they have to know about me, lable me a ditz and deem it uneccessary to waste anymore time on me. I hate it when people who dont know me think they can judge me and not take me seriously, and proceed to stop talking to me.But for some stupid reason, I thought that you wouldn't do that. I actually thought that i did a decent job of being not-weird, and that you knew me well enough beforehand to be okay. But as I have learned in life, assumptions suck. I dont understand what I do that makes people ignore me. And its the worst feeling in the world to be ignored.
Please dont get me wrong, i'm not trying 2 guilt trip you, because i hope those weren't your intentions. You at least semi-stuck around for me to send you this email. Which like I said, is just one of the things that has been keeping me up at night, wandering around downtown till I dont know where i am anymore, and I need to get it off my chest.

I stand in the distance, and watch as the world passes me by. No one notices my silence. No one notices my depression. The world stops for no one. Especially not you. Not for this useless little girl.

whoop whoop

My blog page isn't loading very well so I dont know if this entry is going to work or not. BUT, i just want to comment on the outcome of this week. The sun started to shine right after Monday. yup yup. It was good. After making some good tips monday night, I came home to find out that classes didn't start till WEDNESDAY. yaaaah, that was all good. Wednesday was nice too as commented about last entry. Heehee, i was just happy because he called. I deactivated my facebook account like 2 weeks ago and I havent' talked 2 him since. But so yeah it was really unexpected that he called. Haha yeaaah i know-iknow, i wasn't the first person he called, but it still made me happy. Hahaha, i'm a silly girl. And then today I seen a big portion of the china crew! So happy. Kerlih and Cynthia are in my Premodern Chinese Literature class. Simon's in my China 301, class, and I seen Summer, followed by Tracy and Shane, followed by Tuylynn at the bookstore today. Hee hee, i get so happy when i see all those guys. *sniff sniff* Makes me happy. Hahaha, i might get to have lunches with you-know-who on thursdays too, since we are both on campus for like 4 hours. haha weeeee. yaaaay!!. Hah i'm such a little girl.
....however....I'm just a little bit scared now....whatever goes up always comes down right....aiya... scaring me now really. Several really good happy high energy days, followed by several low unhappy depressing days..... nooooo....

First day of school.

Hey-yo. Today was the first day of classes. It went pretty smooth. My first class was at 2p. Art History 212. I actually knew somebody in there! And i think the class sounds pretty neat too. So i dont think i'll drop that one. yeh-yeah. Hahaha, i actually thought that classes started on Tuesday. Hahah on Monday i was DEVASTATED. I had to close at kyoto that day...as a WAITRESS. hahah I wanted 2 go home so bad, and everyone kept on telling me i had all these side jobs to do. I left at 11pm and i actually ran home. Hahaha. Then i was talking to some friends and they informed me that class didnt start tuesday it started wednesday. It was the greatest day of my life. Hahaha. I celebrated by going to Kingsway and buying a sweater, and then going to Staples and buying some notebooks and pencils. (and thus completing my school supply shopping) Funny cuz my sweater cost more than my supplies. Hahahah. But yeah. I'm super glad class started today instead. I felt more prepared. I woke up and slowly (key word slowly) got ready, and ate breakfast, then WALKED to campus. Amazing. yup yup yup! Tomorrow however....egads. THREE back to back to back hour and a half classes. What the crap was i thinking? Then i have a night class from 6 30 till 9 30. I think that one should be fun though, I'm actually kinda looking forward to that one. yeee-haw....no wait, i hsouldn't say that....anytime i say i'm looking forward to something, that forward turns into backwards.... yeah i'll say that. i'm looking backwards to my night class.... gawd its going to be horrible isn't it. I also got an unexpected phone call from somebody today. Hahah, totally caught me off guard. But it was a nice end to a decent day.... MINUS THE SCARY DREAM I HAD.... goodness i just remembered it. I dreamt that someone close to me drove off a cliff and i partially witnessed it.... and actually now that i think about it...a few weeks ago i dreamt a friend walked up to me and shot me in the ribs...... GEEZUS whats wrong with me????